Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

Thanks jess3817.

It's day 100!!!!! Hurrah

@Hangingover wahoo! Well done that's fantastic!!

hangingover

Congratulations!! 100 days is amazing! Well done

@Hangingover CONGRATULATIONS 👏👍 🧁 🍰 🎂 what a brilliant achievement! Loved your update, snorting your tea at the whale comment 😱😃
@Breathmiller don’t underestimate yourself, you have done the worst part I suspect 👍 I’m really enjoying it as well, so let’s keep cheering each other on 😎 There is something about reading the right quit lit and changing your mindset so that being af is a privilege not a deprivation that is so powerful.
@iamyourequal, lovely that you are still going strong, sorry to hear about your dad. I also have elderly, frail parent issues, it’s super stressful especially when there is little you can do to improve things...so I sympathise.
Have a brilliant new week all 😃

@Hangingover 100 days!!! You fucking legend!!! Well done!

Thanks lovelies. To celebrate we went on the boat to watch the whales at sunset it was AMAZING the mum and baby were breaching side by side really near the boat. Everyone else was drinking but I didn't even care - in fact I could smell the champagne in the ladies glass next to me and it smelt grim.

Wow!! What a way to celebrate!

Well done Hangingover that’s a fantastic achievement, it must feel fabulous.
Thanks Ravenswick It’s a relief to hear of others feeling stressed by older parents with health problems. You will know what it’s like, you don’t want to meddle in their lives and tell them what to do, but then kick yourself for not acting when something goes wrong. They are actually part of the reason I gave up drink. I was worried I would end up with my dad’s very heavy drinking, and I could imagine that sooner or later I would need to be sober to dash over to them late at night.
Have a good week everyone. I hope all the runners get oodles of miles in! Thank goodness Monday is over. I’ve even managed to get through a day without any chocolate, though it ain’t over yet...

@Breathmiller, well done on 4 weeks. Definitely not insignificant - those first few weeks are bloody hard! And I really loved reading the positive changes you've experienced.

Sorry to hear your Dad has been unwell, @iamyourequal

Congratulations on 100 days @Hangingover. What a way to celebrate!

I'm still running too and I even did a 5 mile run at the weekend. Really can't believe it! And Park Run is back next month and I can't wait to do my first one

Thank you Teetotallyimperfect, and well done on the 5 mile run. You must be super fit! That sounds very far to me.

@Teetotallyimperfect well done on the run!

I’ve been for a run yesterday and today, it fel ace. I also had my first swim in a swimming pool today in months. It was wonderful!

So so so glad the kids are back at school now... I might actually get some work done😂

Now that I’ve emerged from quarantine I’m reflecting a lot on the last few months and how hard they’ve been at times. We should all be bloody proud of ourselves for staying sober (or starting to be sober) in such a crazy time. I know our old selves would have wanted to drink because everything is so haaaaaard, but luckily our new selves know that alcohol won’t help😂😅

Hope you’re all well x

Well done on everyone's increased vitality for exercise.

I have a new morning and afternoon routine (the school run after years of home educating) which is includes a good walk so I am getting my 10k daily steps done.

I also hit my calender month today. One month being AF and I feel great!

@BunniesBunniesBunnies - yes, totally agree, we have all done a pretty incredible job 👍😎 I am snowed under at work which would normally be a trigger for me but -yay- not even tempted, just really pleased to be cracking on AF and without that ball of anxiety in my stomach weighing me down. I’m having quite a stressful time but clean stress, without alcohol, is just a thousand times easier and better...

Does anyone else wish they had realised this YEARS ago😱😬

Hi, joining thread please. I am on day 3. I am 53 and entering a new phase in my life. Both children at secondary school and I have retired from my part time job so time to clean up my act.

My drinking history: didn’t drink as a teen, barely drank in my 20s, moderate drinker in my 30s, my 40s was when I started to drink wine every evening (baring when pregnant). During lockdown (not having to drive anywhere) excelerated things so I have had a bottle every night or more. DH very supportive and he is taking a break to help. No dramatic reasons for giving up, worried about my liver, would like to lose weight are in there but number one reason is I wake at 2 am with anxiety and feelings of impending doom. Horrible.

I have been lurking and have lots of fizzy apple juice, schloer and Becks blue in the house.

Sorry this is long! Full disclosure I joined before (I remember Ravenswick ) under a different name but lasted less than 2 weeks.

Yes ravenswick.!!! Everything just seems...easier. Like my meditation and Yoga practice - not drinking doesn't stop crap things happening but it makes them a lot easier to deal with.

Welcome bluefishing. Most people will be the same. I was on the Dry January thread but started back very light drinking in February . Then lockdown amongst other things happened and it crept up again. Ive done 18 months before then gone back but this feels like it could really be me this time.

I got such a loving welcome back. Returning is much easier than the first time so you are already on a head start.

Good luck. Keep posting each day if you like. It always feels good to tick off another day. And today is the only day avaliable to you anyway so just work on that.

Welcome back Bluefishing’ that’s great you are giving sobriety another go and I am super jealous you have been able to give up your job! Are you feeling any benefits yet?

You are so right Ravenswick: Does anyone else wish they had realised this YEARS ago😱😬. I wish I had. I remember blurting out on a rare visit to my GP that I was worried I was drinking too much. This was about 5 years ago. She said ‘’well just stop drinking for a week and see how you get on’’. I came away thinking she must be crazy. How on earth was I supposed to get through a weekend without drink when I was struggling to get through a Monday-Wednesday without one! And yet a few years later I’m somehow managing it. I’m on AF day 34 today. I would have hit my 100days yesterday if I hadn’t had my holiday slip up. It really does get easier with time but Sat nights still a struggle. Have a good day everyone!

Forgot to say congratulations Breathmiller on hitting your month!

Well done to all the new milestones!

Big cravings this evening... watching all the Aussies barbequing their hunks of cow and swigging their wine and thought quite angrily, "why can't I just be normal?!".

But I was just hangry. Had two vegan burritos and a sparkling apple and now I'm grand 😁

The sodding sparkling apple is not vegan. FML.

Did anyone read that part in Catherine Grey's book where she lists all the ridiculous bargains she made with herself to try and be able to carry on drinking?

The couple opposite me are having their wine out of really small wine glasses and my Addictive Voice just went, "maybe if I drank wine out of those Of drink responsibly?!"

No HangingOver you'd just have forty of them you utter spanner.

Thanks Breathmiller, I did read somewhere that people who give up smoking/alcohol successfully have usually tried multiple times previously. It is humbling but I am not despondent and like you feel this could be it this time.

iamyourequal thanks. It is a huge relief and I am bloody lucky. I finished on Friday. Work was fine and people were fine. But! I was so sick of it all, just the same conversations the same issues over and over, I was there for 13 years and it is bliss to not get emails etc. Unfortunately my back seized up yesterday and I am in pain so not skipping around the house but I plan to declutter and start to exercise in September. I have recharged my kindle and downloaded a couple of books, I used to be a bookworm a million years ago and would love to start to read again. I’ve also heard of podcasts so may delve into that too. I think it’s up to me now what I make of things, no excuses. Sozzled on the sofa every evening and lose everyone’s respect or start to redefine myself.

Sorry I know I'm spamming. I just text my friend/sponsor, "my Addictive Voice just went, "maybe if I drank wine out of those Of drink responsibly?! God it comes up with some shite!"

She replied "WHAT?! What the fuck kind of advice is that for addicts?!".

She thought it was an app 😂

@Hangingover

The sodding sparkling apple is not vegan. FML.

Bugger

@Hangingover I’m sorry about your sparkling apple not being vegan and also I can totally relate to your question of “why can’t I just be normal?”. I do sometimes think that when I fancy a glass of wine on a Friday night.

There are so many answer to that question but firstly, you ARE normal. What is abnormal and frankly absurd is a society in which a large group of people frequently drinks far too much, and where advertisements etc. are basically encouraging us to poison ourselves regularly! Ridiculous!

My husband (he does drink, but moderately) always says that sober is will be the future, and that not drinking will be so normal in future. One day we’ll look back and gasp that we ever used to drink the way we did, given it did NOTHING for us.

Meanwhile, while the rest of the world is catching up with our sober awesomeness, you just hang in there @hangingover. Remember how far you’ve come and how good you feel. Yeah, you’re not normal, you’re pretty extraordinary by my standards💪