Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

Hi, I hope you don’t mind me posting here but it seemed like a thread where people might understand. My partner (who I don’t live with) is an alcoholic. I’ve suspected for a while but lockdown has made things worse and he now wants to be left alone as he thinks that’s the way to beat it and is ashamed for me to see him. I’m obviously really worried and don’t know what to do for the best - I can’t see that he can get better without support. What can I do to help him?

@AGoodYearfortheRoses, if he doesn't want help, there's nothing you can do. External pressure, however loving, doesn't work. You can get advice and support from Al Anon, which exists to help those affected by others' alcoholism. Taking care of yourself and accepting that you can't cure or change him, will be the most important thing for you. An important question to consider is, do you want to stay with him if he continues to drink?

By all means suggest sources of support, for example This Naked Mind has the 30 day Alcohol Experiment which is where I started, but unless he's motivated to stop, it won't happen.

he now wants to be left alone as he thinks that’s the way to beat it and is ashamed for me to see him. I think it's likely that he wants to be left alone to drink, this is alcoholic behaviour.

Hi all, just checking in. Feeling very blue this morning, stressed about work and feeling ‘got at’ and undervalued which is a real trigger for me.

Tell me your happy Thursdays if you’re having them

Welcome to new posters - it’s day 27 for me and no regrets about AF despite today’s blueness

Hugs, @Cyllie33. I’ve went for a 30-min walk at 8.30am before the heat really got going. Doesn’t sound like much but the daily brisk walks up hills habit that I had at the start of lockdown had declined to zero, so it’s a start. Hope your mood lifts a little as the day goes on. Whatever else happens you’re AF so you’re winning! 😊

Hey, @Cyllie33 That being undervalued and got at was a big part of the reason that I left my old job. I don't know what your circumstances are, but I have been applying for jobs and I've now got three telephone interviews lined up for tomorrow, so there's definitely stuff out there if you are looking for it.

Day three for me, and after a twelve hour sleep last night, I'm feeling much better.

Morning everyone!!!
How's the sober life? I'm feeling so good these days. If I can do it anyone can - I have NO willpower and was a big drinker!!!! I'm 5 weeks in tomorrow!
@myhandsareverycold your DH/P (sorry I forgot which in the time it took to write the above! Bad memory 😂) sounds quite hard to live with. Is he controlling in other aspects too?

@Cyllie33 ((hugs)) that sounds tough for you - feeling got at is why I left my last job too. Much happier working on my own. Is there anyway you can think about applying for different jobs,or not at the moment?
Well, I've just been for a 2 mile jog - that was enough for me in the heat. And have said to the kids not to bother with school work today..bad mother alert😂 going to pop intI town ( there's a market every Thursday ) and get a nice load of fruit to make a big bowl of fruit salad later. Not very exciting I know lol

@OrlandoInTheWilderness well done on 5 weeks that's brilliant! That's how I feel too - if I can, anyone can! I can't imagine ever having a drink again now (bit scared of it tbh really)

Thanks for the positivity

Whatever else happens you’re AF so you’re winning! This is so true!

I do love my job most of the time and I wonder if some of the feeling got at is in my head - being AF has definitely helped me to feel calmer and not spiral and feel so defensive. I’ll see how the next couple of months go. It’s so tough with lockdown.

Good luck with the interviews @Catonaroof
Are you freelance now @jess3817? Your plan for today sounds good!

I did a Yoga with Adriene this morning after posting and felt much better for it

@Cyllie33 I do yoga with Adriene too! Well I do the best I can anyway 😂 you make it sound much better than it is - I'm just a cleaner but now self employed - love not answering to anyone.

Checking in from a chilly cabin miles from anywhere, next to a pink lake!

Mega wine cravings earlier as the Aussies campers were all cooking their barbecue with wine/beer/neat bourbon (that last one may have been something to do with the shouter we heard later) but I'm ok now and under two duvets with my flavoured water and full of vegan chilli.

@jess3817 your own boss! God, that’s good 💪🏻

Sounds idyllic @Hangingover well done you on riding through the cravings.

I’ve just had a glass of M&S sparkling AF wine that tasted just like appletiser! Will stick to the tonic water best time....

Whatever else happens you’re AF so you’re winning!

Really needed to hear this after today!!! Really really really hard day but still sober. Hell yeah!

I'm on ginger ale tonight! Gorgeous!

Ooh, I think I've got some ginger beer somewhere, that'll taste strong enough to distract me from craving wine. Thanks for the idea, @OrlandoInTheWilderness!

@BunniesBunniesBunnies hope you're okay? Still sober!💪 well done. everywhere I look at the moment, people are bliming drinking booze " it's Thursday, why not" er....What's the point more like!

I'm with you on the ginger beer - bought some lime cordial the other day to go in it, it's lovely - I used a bottle of ginger cordial in a few days coz it was so nice😂

Ooohhh I do love a ginger beer, especially a hot (as in spicy) one!

Thanks @jess3817, I’m okay now. Just had a really rough morning (difficulties with the kids) but turned it around, sort of. Tired now and in bed😊

Night all.

Hope everyone is okay.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies the hotter the better😂. Try and have a good night sleep...If possible in this heat @GreenMintTeaMug night to you too.

@orlando
I'd say quietly controlling. We are certainly not equal. Funnily enough his ex wife warned me about this! The strange thing is he lets his children walk all over him and is scared to discipline them. It's very complex!

Nice to see new faces here. Welcome to the sober party!

Checking in from a campsite by the beach. We're snuggled in our little tent. Lovely here but emus are mental. Mad cravings for about an hour this evening...when am I going to stop wanting to be drunk

@Hangingover

I'm with you. This weekend we have no children and I would love to have a glass of wine in the garden after an unbelievably busy and long week. Just one glass.

I need to stop thinking like this.......The grapes have been pounded to release their juice by stinky old French men with long gnarly toenails. And they probably have verrucas too

@Hangingover I can imagine that camping is a real test, I think I last camped sober in 1992 when I was 15 and even then its quite possible that we had a hip flask of whisky filched from my dad's drinks cabinet. And a tough day at the end of a tough week, @myhandsareverycold, does it help at all to learn that I've had a similar shitty week of work but at almost 6 months sober I have no desire to drink? And actually I haven't for a while. I can't remember how far in you are but it does get easier.

Well done everyone hanging in there. Remember, just don't drink today. That's your one job.

@AGoodYearfortheRoses, I don’t think you’ll get better advice than that given above by @Drybird2020. My dad’s an alcoholic so I’ve been in the position of looking on as a loved one drinks their health and everything else away, despite every effort to help them. Drybird is spot on.

Anyway. The theory about verrucas is true.

Just saying.