Anyone else stopping completely in 2020?

[Drybird2020]

I don't mean moderating or cutting down, I know that I can't control my drinking this way and I need to stop.

I have stopped for periods of time before and enjoyed the peace of not thinking about alcohol, or stressing about my consumption, or negotiating with myself about whether or not to get a bottle of wine on the way home on a Wednesday night.
There's no point in doing dry January, because I will just use it to justify a wet February.

There used to be a series of threads for total abstinence, think it was in Relationships but it seems to have tailed off. I could really do with a place to talk about this, but with an emphasis on being dry, not moderate. And if nobody else is keen I can use it as somewhere to witter away to myself.

I popped up right near the beginning of this thread, but not been back since, so just coming in to say YES!!!! Day 5 done and dusted. Well done everyone, it's not easy but boy, is it worth it. I'm feeling knackered and feel as though my brain has been removed today...very fuzzy headed and a bit slow...I'm hoping this is just my body adjusting to life without being permanently pickled!

Also tired despite sleeping deeply but I think it's this cold. I'm going to see the dr tomorrow and get my ear syringed, it's agony.

Drove back from family party where everyone was knocking it back as a free bar. Didn't miss it at all and instead enjoyed the food and left when we were ready.

I am sleeping 10 hours a night and still exhausted! Have been feeling a little foggy last few days but today day 5 the fog seemed to lift a little. AF beer is my friend this week (never normally touch the stuff so I don't associate it with drinking ironically enough).

Hello, @Boots20 had kindly signposted me here from another thread which isn’t very active.
I’m @ontheshingle. This is my 10th day not drinking and I am loving it. I’ve tried to give up so many times over the last few years. I’ve managed a few months several times, and lots of bits here and there, then got back on the can I moderate no I can’t treadmill, and I’m exhausted with it and enjoying the energy I get back not just from not drinking but also from not thinking about drinking.
So far: better sleep, more energy and focus, more present for other people, including my kids, and full of sadness about the amount of time I have lost.
It’s not always been easy - a few celebrations at home have been really tricky but I have managed it. I’m aware that, having started again after quite long periods, I need to stay full of humility even as the number of AF says goes up.
I look forward to supporting others and I really value others supporting me - it helps me to feel part of a community in this journey.

Hmmm @Growingboys he falls asleep in the settee a lot, is not in great shape and it’s affected our sex life. The only reason he doesn’t get debilitating hangovers is because he has built up tolerance!

Welcome ontheshingle!

It's weird for me, when I did this a few years ago I remember really missing wine in the evenings at first. I know it's only been 5 days so far but I just feel relieved.

That’s good. What I find odd is that it’s all changeable. 5 years ago I hardly drank at all. Now it’s really bloody hard work!

@testing987654321 I'm hoping a similar switch has flicked in my head, it seems different this time.

@StillDumDeDumming my DH has been drinking quite a bit in the last week and curiously it hasn't bothered me, but I must say I'm glad he's doing dry January from this point on. He's overweight and unhealthy looking and I know my drinking has influenced him to drink too much.

@ProfessorPollington I've drunk my bodyweight in Becks Blue this weekend! Going to give it a rest during the week.

@Ontheshingle welcome to our lovely busy thread 😊. I know what you mean about time lost, I'm feeling very emotional and I think a lot of it is to do with regret. And I also know what you mean about maintaining humility ; as someone said upthread there's a danger of doing really well and then celebrating with a drink 😱

@shakennotstirred welcome back. 😊

Congratulations on a dry weekend, people! I'm back to work in the morning, quite looking forward to it but there are flash points in the week when I would usually reach for a drink and I'm a bit nervous but also excited to be smashing it, not smashed (LOVE this motto!!)

Morning all. Anyone else wake up feeling like they drank the night before (sluggish, thick head, no energy etc)? I was hoping to leap out of bed with bounds of energy but no such luck today, maybe it's too early for that sort of change.

Morning! That's how I felt yesterday..! I'm happy to report this morning I'm up and at em ☺️ hopefully it will pass for you soon x

Day 10 AF for me, and like others back to work. Hoping that I can sail through without any cravings.

Happy Monday everyone, and hello new people.

Morning

I find the groggy head feeling is down to decent sleep ( so my fitbit tells me ) and also not waking for my usual water intake at 3/4am.

I hope you all have a good day!

Me 👋 I dont have a drinking problem and can easily say no but have decided to give up for a few reasons.

1. To help my mental health. Alcohol and hangovers make my anxiety ten times worse. It's just not worth it anymore.

2.I want to quit smoking for good and even though I dont crave day to day I always without fail smoke like a chimney when drunk 🤷‍♀️ a few days later I develop this horrible cough and my chest is tight.

1. To save money. I spent £30+ on nights out and it's just a waste of money!
2. I live with DP who is practically T Total (2-3 times a year), and when I go out drinking with friends I don't return home until early hours, drunk and always end up vomiting/complaining I'm nauseous and crying. DP never complains and always looks after me but I always feel incredible guilt the following morning!

@WaitingforToto, I feel the same every morning. I have also had a persistent headache.

How many days in are you @metoo2020dry ? I'm hoping it gets better in time, as someone said up thread maybe it's from sleeping more deeply

@WaitingforToto I'm on Day 6 today. I also think it may be deeper sleep. I'm sleeping over 8 hours a night compared to 6 hours before I stopped. And also skipping the 3/4am wake up

Afternoon all. So happy to read about your fantastic AF weekends.

I'm not sure if I should stay on this thread as I didn't manage it. It was a very conscious decision to have a glass of wine before our pizza on Sat night.

I think the fear from my last session had passed and I decided that I didn't really need to be AF.

However it was strange. I had one glass and then decided I didn't want anymore. Didn't drink yesterday either.

I'm not sure where to go from here.
I have slept so well past few days. I have had loads more energy today (my non working day) than I usually do on a Monday. Has been a really productive morning.

I think I will try to stay AF next weekend and take it from there. I never drink midweek and so won't be an issue til then. If I feel as energised next Monday as I do today it will really push me towards sobriety.

Keep up the good work

Please can I join? I've decided today that I need to stop drinking. I've totally overdone it over Xmas and NY, drinking every day and lots of it!

Evening all. Nice to be on a thread with so many like-minded people.

In terms of things to try, I would give the Allen Carr book a go.

Things I liked about it:

• it's really postive about stopping drinking, and how it's not giving anything up, it's all about gain. I really liked this postivity.
• lots of what it says about how alcohol is sold to us really resonated with me
• I am pretty sure it's written using NLP techniques. Every little helps!
• you can re-read the final chapter as a reminder of it all whenever you need a boost

Things I would note

• As above, I am pretty sure it uses NLP techniques. And that makes the style a little repetitive
• I read the women specific version. Occasionally some of the references to women's roles made me wince slightly, but I ignored it for the greater good!
• although overall what it said resonated strongly, the chapter focused on "you don't like the taste of alcohol anyway' didn't ring true for me. (more's the pity!)

Of course, you may be wondering why I am here if the book is good. Well the problem is all me. From the start I decided to give up with the book (and did so successfully for 3 months) but that I would then reintroduce drinks on nights out, but moderating. And very successful the moderation was, to start with. But inevitably the amounts slowly crept back up, and a crippling hanogver this NYE was the final decision point. Stopping drinking for good.

I'm not yet reading the book though. My resolve will be good for these first few weeks of the year. The memory of the hangover will presist, I don't have much on socially, lots of people are being healthy. I plan to start it mid-Jan, to prep me for Feb!

I'm also using the 'I am sober' app. Doesn't do much at the moment, but I am hoping that as the numbers rack up they will help if I should weaken. Long-term planning here.

Good luck all. First Monday of the year nearly done!

Well here I am.. trigger time! Kids back at school dinner time madness and any normal day I'd pour that first glass of wine to take the edge off the day.

Absolutely determined that won't happen today or any other day for that matter! No doubt H will be home from work around 7pm and as soon as he's in the door the wine will be poured 😬 I WILL STAY STRONG.

Happy Monday all x

Hi Day one for me. Hope I'm not too late to join.

I gave up for ten weeks in 2018. Since then I have lost a couple of boyfriends; done stupid shit culminating in a major catastrophe in October and the most horrendous Christmas and New Year. Was vile to current (possibly past) boyfriend on Sat.
Just been home to pour everything in my house away and I'm on my way to an AA meeting.

I cannot moderate. I don't stop when I don't have my kids and I turn into a nightmare and throw abuse around. I drink in the week (not heavily when I have the kids) Alcohol is an absolute poison for me. I have been self-medicating through my marriage, divorce and the last 5 years.
I have two sober friends and one who's offered to give up with me. I've downloaded a couple of the apps suggested here and a couple of books and still have a couple from my first attempt.

I am sick of the crutch it has become to me and the detrimental effect it has on my life and I do not want my children to grow up with the current me as their Mother...

Sorry to be so heavy!

Can I ask is anyone taking supplements? My ex husband is saying I need to (I'm 46)

Waitingfortoto, I took weeks/months before I didn't feel groggy in the morning. I think it depends on what else you are doing as well. So eating healthily, drinking things other than caffeine, doing a bit of exercise/walking should all help. It is frustrating when others rave about how much better they feel straight away. I think it's different for everyone, but definitely better in the long-term.

Hello ineed, toast and Iron.

*Iron I'm not taking any supplements but I am only just coming out of a two week cold/ear infection. I stopped drinking just before, but I do wonder if the lingering nature of it is connected to stopping drinking.

Why does your ex say you need to?

Regarding supplements - A GP would advise a high dose of B vits and Thiamine because alcohol saps those vits and also they help with any damage caused by the booze.
I bought a oral vit spray which gives a big dose of B12 and is absorbed quicker into the bloodstream - the brand is called 'Better You'.
I generally use 'Solgar' vitamins as they are high quality.

Hello to all the newcomers btw - glad to have your input on the thread!

Howls I never knew that, I'm going to stock up tomorrow. Thank you.