Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

Absolutely on the mindless drinking too Madame. I'm 2lb down since the start of the month and all that's really changed is wine - but there will be a lot less bread and crisps going down the hatch as an upshot too.

Longest cosy and comforting you say? You need a cloak of sobriety. There's nothing like getting cosy in your dressing gown with a brew and a decent something on the telly. In fact, that's what I'm about to do...

It's a support place for counsilling and to put support and coping strategies in place. But I'm doing well. Just hope tonight I can get some proper sleep now my dose has been upped!.
Had a lovely surprise from my dad in the post - a load of new wool!!
It's my birthday Saturday and I'm hoping to stay af!!

I managed to be AF. Was touch and go but I have socks of sobriety on, big, thick thermal ones and they make me feel all cosy and relaxed so I don't need a drink. That's what I have been telling myself anyway. That and a good read when I go ul which will be very soon.

Had a lovely, healthy prawn stir fry for dinner, so I do like healthy stuff. Just nut as much as beer and wine and gin. I keep weighing myself at beer oclock. That sometimes helps as well. But 3 days AF, 2 more to go and they should be easier. Tomorrow is swimming for ds after school, the Thursday it's chaos. Got a party 4 30pm to 6.30pm with ds, and then dds open evening at 6th form at 6.15pm. Plan is for dh to be home in time to come and take over from me at party then me and dd go to open evening. But if dh is late which is possible because he's coming 100 miles and the weather isn't brilliant Thursday will have to drag ds from party and take him to open evening. No doubt smashed on party food and furious at being dragged out.

dion are you recovered yet?

flossie how is dd doing?

longest I like ginger cordial, the expensive stuff. It's nice and warming this time of year. I also keep getting an urge for horlicks 🙈.

These are all good ideas. At the moment i am still in touch and go territory but wine is not open yet. If dh does not suggest wine when he is back from reading to dd1 then cloak of sobriety is, though i have mo ginger cordial. Might find a nanny state languishing at the back of the fridge i suppose.

Cloak of sobriety 1, wine 0. I wouldn't have put my money on that.

I’m so sorry. I’m crap. So much to read back on and haven’t. So just flying through to say hi. I miss you all. But I’m crap right now with my drinking. Drinking far too much. Pressing the fuck it button and just about keeping my head above water.
But feel so crap about posting here as you’re all doing so well.
Well done to you all, you’re awesome!!

Flossie are you OK?
Everybody here is doing brilliantly it's true (except me 🙁)

Flossie don't not post just because you are drinking. We're all up and down. And don't forget you had your longest streak ever last week.

Longest = winning. And you Frouby.

There's definitely something in getting all snug for keeping the cravings at bay...

Flying by very, very quickly (still ill), but have to reply to Flossie. I know - I feel the same. I was determined to manage Day 3, but pressed the "I'm ill, so fuck it" button some time this evening and have made up for my two hungover/dry nights several times over. Then was too scared to post on here because I feel like such a failure.

But I'm not, and neither are you. And neither is anyone who is really struggling with this. That's why we are here. Some of us are doing brilliantly at the moment, and I just wish I were one of them - but we all know how hard it is. I am hand-holding with you.

Listen. The only reason I'm doing well at the moment is because of you wonderful lot. I'm relying on the comraderie to keep me accountable to myself.
So dry, wet, damp or soggy - there are no failures here. Just lovely friends. Or comrades 💪🏻

NC4, you are a love. And I am so glad you are doing so well. I thought that watching crap TV might help me, but all that happened was that I watched crap TV while drunk!!!

Dion NC4 is right. No failures. Water thanks for asking, I’m doing ok, just a lot going on, I fell behind posting. I got selected to interview for a great opportunity a few weeks ago and bombed the interview. It’s weighed really heavily, every day thinking of all the missed opportunities and miss-steps. Annoyed with myself.

Leaving - is there a similar opportunity that you could go for in the near future?? Don’t look back, just look forward lovely. Take it as a strength that you’re being reflective..sending hugs x

Thank you all, just had the shittest time. It’s as if as soon as I get back up, feel stronger, I get kicked back down. But I know I need to sort myself out and gain my wings again, and fly. I’ve done it once recently.
Going to a family wedding Sunday so that will be ridiculously wet. Friday we off for pre wedding dinner but I’ve said I’ll drive as it’s DH’s family. It’s stupid but I feel such relief that I have a day looming where I have to be dry. It’s like a ray of sunshine ahead that means I don’t have to face wine and feel guilt. Maybe I need to get a hobby that involves evenings!!

What NC4 said, I’ve done that before: not posted because I’m drinking but it didn’t help really! (Speaking for myself). We’re all here because we want support 🙂 Leaving, hi, sorry about the interview 💐

Day 10 AF here and I’m pleased with that.

Leaving I'm really sorry about your job interview. I suppose the only thing is to learn from it but that won't help much. Will there be other job opportunities coming up?

Flossie driving sounds like a good idea and you will be more on form for the wedding on Saturday, at least you won't risk a hangover for that. I hope you have a good time to make up for all the other stuff.

Dion hope you are feeling better this morning

Longest will your friend in France stay there? Is her husband French? It can't be easy for either of them. Do they have children? How old?

Well done to Frouby for Day and NC4 and Water, you are doing really well, take before and after pics of your eyes and face, I'm always shocked at how much better your face is after a stretch of AF. Eyes are whiter and less puffy, face is less puffy and skin healthier looking.

I haven't been dry this week, half a bottle last night after sport, and 2 glasses Monday just because there was a bottle to finish. Will try to be better tonight. Stopping drinking or eating less is definitely an easier way to lose weight than doing sport.I ran 15km this morning, 10.5km/hour and Garmin tells me I burnt just 660 calories for the effort so the equivalent of a bottle of wine .

That's good going though Mme! Friend is English but has lived in France since uni. Her husband is French and the children were born there. But she has been wanting to come back to the uk for a while. She had a secondment lined up and her dh was going to take a sabbatical to support her but the secondment fell through. I don't suppose he'd want to follow her to the UK now though so it is a dilemma for them, especially as split was not her decision. Paris to London is not so far but the children are probably not old enough to travel alone - they are 8 and 6. Have suggested she not do anything rash and take some time to think things through, but also pointed out that there are lots of different ways to make a family work.

Flossie, Dion - it's been said but please don't be put off posting. We all go through patches but in your own words, flossie, we look forward, not back.

Leaving, hugs. These job interviews do require a lot of energy so disappointing when they come to nothing, but there will be other opportunities and that one might not have lived up to its promise.

Got through hideous presentation. Wishing i had made myself a more exciting lunch as
a reward - homemadee vegan chilli is proving to be hard going. May sneak out and meet friend for cake.

Longest Glad the hideous presentation went well. You definitely deserve cake. There aren't many calories in vegan chilli so don't feel guilty about topping up with cake.

Oh dear, your poor friend. It complicates things a little if she comes back to the UK, as you say the DC are too young to travel alone, although there is actually no minimum legal age for minors to travel alone on French trains. My DC rarely see their father now, he moved back to the UK when they were 8 and 18 months old. They never missed him, DS was too young. I think DD would have been upset if we had moved house or area, but as nothing really changed for her she still had that security and was fine. At first their father came over to France every month but now it's more like twice a year. I hope they manage to sort out an amicable and easy arrangement.

Yes, what Madame said. I think taking a bit of time to think things through is wise too. It sounds quite a complicated situation, but with my bodged relationship history, the one thing I would say is it's the acrimony that hurts the kids - when everyone is settled and consistent things can be fine.

I'm really mad at DS1 being such a horror this week. I should be glowing and sparkling at Day 12 but I actually look and feel haggard. I've barely slept. He's kicked off again today, all manner of horridness, because he's realised I confiscated his paraphernalia out of his bag. Once again I don't know where he is but that's preferable to him being home in that state, for now.

I'm going to go to the gym and get a takeaway I think. They can offset each other. My head is splitting. What an utterly shit week.

NC little shitbag he is. Can his dad intervene and have a man to man talk? Or take him to his for a couple of days or a week to give you a break? If it makes you feel any better my nephew was the same at 16/17. A proper horror. At 21 he's working full time, earning bloody good money with his own flat just round the corner from his mum and they are as close as can be. Just keep repeating this too shall pass.

Had some shitty news today. Best mate, yard owner at ponies is has been backwards and forwards to docs for last few weeks. Blood tests showed high white blood cells and her brother has leukaemia so she's been referred up to the hospital. Records show they have been high for at least 18 months and she has some other symptoms so a bit of a worry.

The temptation to dive into the gin is high but I am resisting so far. Supping my ginger cordial and telling myself that alcohol is not the answer.

If I can get through tonight, tomorrow is easy as I am out quite late at open evening and then it will be 5 days on the bus.

NC4, what a shit week indeed. I can't believe you have managed to stay AF through all of that. Though I do know that drinking would have made you feel better for about 10 minutes, and even worse afterwards. I have a friend whose son narrowly avoided prison when he was 16. He gave himself a very big kick up the backside at some point and now at 26 has a job far better than anyone else I know. Also has a house and a partner. So don't despair (though I'd be feeling pretty desperate if I were in your position). As Frouby says, this too will pass. I lost count of how many times I told myself this when mine were little.

Longest, I hope you had cake! I'm sorry about your friend NC4 is right that being settled and consistent goes a long way towards making things less awful for children. This is why I pretend to be on ok terms with XH.

Frouby, I'm so sorry about that news. It's a bastard. If you can manage 5 days, that's brilliant.

I am hoping to manage one day today. Will have to be AF until at least 8pm as I'm driving DD back from a friend's house then. I'm going to have a jacket potato before that, in the hope that feeling full will reduce the craving.

Nc4 💐
Frouby too, hoping it’s better news than she fears 💐
Dionysa that sounds like a plan

Evening, hope everyone is Okay, just a quick check in to say I'm still AF!! Think I have lost count of days though, I'm sure it's 2 weeks now!!. Honestly thought i would get a good sleep last night with my increase of tablets, but no, have been up since 03:30.
Sorry I haven't been talkative much. Just been running round after everyone and making sure all is ok. Dd1 ended up spilling her heart out to me at 23:00 last night and I didn't feel I could just send her to bed when she opened up which meant I didn't go to bed until 00:30 so a grand total of 3 hours sleep. Sorry into don't make sense... at least I'm getting it out.

Managed to avoid the beer and the gin by feeding us all. Mash, Yorkshire puddings, sausages, peas and carrots. Perfect November comfort foods. Ds had a huge plateful and ate the lot lol.

It will take weeks for friend to find out what the issues are. So have chucked it in the fuck it bucket for now. Nothing I or anyone else can do to speed things up or change the outcome. Seem to have had some kind of cancer diagnosis hanging over people for the last 3 years. Dsis got a scan next week for a funny lump in her groin as well.

I am lucky really that my health has never been a concern. This bastarding period is being a bitch though. Day 4 today and still bleeding as though it was day 2. And its the second period in 2.5 weeks and the first one lasted 8 days as well so sick of it now. Will see how things go up to Christmas and if things are still being odd book in for a check up. I tested positive for HpV virus on my last smear so have to go back in February to retest to see if it's a long term strain or a short term one or something. Suspect it's a longterm one as have only slept with dh for the last 13 years and am 99.9999% sure he hasn't had an affair or anything. Obviously no one can ever be 100% but I am.

Just debating having between a yoghurt or a cream bun. 😁

Nc4 hugs, what a shocking week. And Frouby, i really hope your friend gets better news than she fears. I am similarly anxious about our neighbour friend with kidney cancer as although he's had his operation successfully they are now investigating nodules on his lungs, which may be harmless but there's a significant risk they are not. And another friend, who is more dsis's bff but someone i have known since childhood, has chronic pain after a pancreatic cancer scare and they are reinvestigating her too. They are both two of life's good people. Life is shit.

Am not AF tonight. Using wine to settle nerves after presentation followed by overtired bedtime for dd2. But i was never aiming for a fully AF week so pretty happy with three days. DH and i both invited for drinks tomorrow but no babysitter so i am 50-50 likely to be AF depending on who wins toss.

So i

Oh God, Badger, my DD does that too. Normally just as I'm about to turn my light off. And I need my bits of sleep!!

Frouby, I'm in the period boat with you. It would be easier for me to count the days when I'm not having one than when I am.

Baked potato plan went wrong, as I started reading and forgot that it was in the microwave. When I remembered, it had turned into a sort of shrivelled stone. So I had a cheese sandwich with defrosted sliced white bread, and a sour cream and chive dip (meant for the potato). However, it did fill the gap before collecting DD, and I am now AF and it is too late to start on the red. Or so I am telling myself.