Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

Glad he's back NC, it sounds like he is struggling a little bit with everything. If you were closer to me I would stick him on an apprenticeship with DH. Did he have a look at the fb groups? Weed is awful these days, it's ridiculously strong. I had a drag and I mean 1 drag about 7 years ago and it absolutely blew my head off. And I used to like nothing better than a joint of an evening. Its insane stuff. And very bad for mental health. I feel for you both, 17 is such a shitty age.

House all spick and span and chooks all cleaned out. Am going to have a shower, get my pjs on, feed the dcs, feed me and dh and have a very early night. Feel shocking, had headache all day that ibu isn't touching and generally very bluergh. Lovely cousin was poorly last week with a horrible bug, hoping I haven't got that. She started with headache as well.

I do not have time to be ill!

He is a bit really Frouby. But then, he always has. He's a complete non-conformist which is quite cool in a lot of ways, but not when he's trying to get on in life.
It's very kind of you to say that about an apprenticeship. He just needs a break and some structure.
He hasn't emerged from his bed yet. I suspect he stayed up all night last night, so I'll have to see how his leaving home plan works out today. He'd be a mug to go again, but he's got a point to prove.

I hope your headache lifts. You don't have time to be ill! I'm a bit of a wallower when I'm not 100% but I do think you need to slow down if possible.

Badger you are doing brilliantly. I keep thinking about getting my crochet out again. It's very satisfying seeing your work grow, isn't it?

Catching up.

I don't have time to be ill either, but that is what I am, with a flu thing. FML. I have managed to get up today, which felt like a miracle. On the bright side, I felt so ill yesterday that I was AF. Not sure about tonight.

NC4, I'm so sorry about DS. Teenagers can be so hard. They think they know absolutely everything. Mine are variously worrying and difficult, so I have nothing useful at all to say, but am sending you hugs.

It seems impossible to avoid the drug thing. I don't know if DS has dabbled in weed or not (I would be surprised if he hadn't, tbh). He tells me stories about "ket" at parties, though says he hasn't tried it. It all sounds terrifying to me. I've never even smoked a cigarette, never mind tried drugs. DS is a very focussed and ambitious control-freak, though, so may be less inclined to try. DD, though, will try whatever her friends are doing, so I'm more worried about her. I feel your pain about Tiktok, Water.

In awe of anyone who's managed 2 days, never mind 8 or 13.

Returning to my deathbed now.

So many bugs and lurgies around.
Get well soon Dion.
I've seen some real casualties where drugs are concerned. I just want DS away from it all.

Dion I hope you feel better soon. You had the flu thing a few weeks ago didn't you? It's getting very cold here, much colder than November usually is. It's more like January weather at the moment.

I don't think DD dies drugs, she doesn't drink very much or smoke. DS will be more of a worry. The son of DH grows his own cannabis (he is really into organic produce 😅) but manages to run his pizzeria without too many problems.
I've never liked smoking anything really, my brother once made me hash cakes but they just made me feel dehydrated rather than high.

However.... DAY 10!!! Into double figures over here

I'd be happier with home grown I think. I hate all the criminal exploitation that goes into the drugs trade, from trafficked Vietnamese gardeners working in cannabis farms, to kids in care groomed into running drugs.
It's a horrible trade.

NC4 that's fantastic, how do you feel 10 days AF? Less stressed, less tired, physically can you see the difference in your face?

Day 10, NC4????? That is absolutely incredible. Especially with all the worry with DS. I'd second Madame's 'how do you feel?' question. I can't imagine how it would feel. And how have you actually managed it?

Thanks for the get-wells. I have managed Day 2 AF, which is rather less impressive than Day 10. I have got through it by sitting on the sofa eating baked beans and cheese, and watching crap TV on my computer. At least both of those are better for me than drinking. Not eating at the table feels very subversive, though.

Less stressed, less tired

Unfortunately having a teenager go missing from home overnight has put paid to that

Badgerblu that’s a fab AF streak! Glad MIL was ok.

Frouby, I hope your headache goes and it’s just a headache, not your cousins flu. What are you thinking about the teaching plan?

Dionysa, sorry youre ill too. But day 2 is fab! What crap tv are you watching? I love some crap tv too. Ds tried Ketamine at university fgs. I said “are you insane, it’s a HORSE tranquilliser, why would you?” And he said yeah, he hated it and wouldn’t be doing it again. I don’t think he has but who knows? I don’t get the feeling he has. Hope not anyway.

NC4 10 days is brilliant!

water I got the prospectus through on Saturday for OU, but they say the courses I want start February 2020, I need to ring and see if there is an October start as well next year or if it's just February. If it's just February I am not sure if I will get the finance in place in time, and not sure this February will be the right time for me to start. I wanted to have the course a few months before assessments are due in to get back into studying plus dd has gcses next summer so will be a bit hectic and stressful here anyway. Am going to ring tomorrow and clarify.

It might mean waiting while next February but it's only a few months after when I wanted to start anyway so can live with that.

I did a fuckton of drugs in my younger days, it was very much the scene I was on and it's easy to get sucked in. I was lucky and nothing bad ever happened to me and I left it behind me easily enough. I don't know how I would feel if dd did them. On the one hand I did far more stupid and risky things when drunk. On the other, I can't see me being all hip mum if she asks for a bottle of lucozade cos she's on a come down 🙈. I think all we can do as parents is offer guidance, set our own boundaries like not in the house and hope it all works out.

I have nothing useful to say on the subject of teenagers and drugs but sending a big hug and mug of sweet tea round to NC4 and lemsip max to Dion and Frouby.

One of my friends is splitting with her husband. She lives in France so have been giving remote care. Is sad and grown up- they were once upon a time hoth good friends but he has been withdrawn for a while.

Zoo was fun. Bit knackering but kifs enjoyed it. Met some of dd2's new pals and their mums/nannies and took a pal for dd1, which worked pretty well.

AF day 2 but had curry takeaway and watched David Attenborough and the Good place i player double bill.

I was in the same scene Frouby as was the boys dad, but it seems different now. Knowing my own kid and the way it's all moved on, is worrying. I'm definitely not the cool mum 22-year-old me thought I'd be.
I'm not even as cool as my own blissfully naive mum was, bless her.

That is sad about your friend Longest. It's a shame when two people who used to bring each other joy turn away from each other.
I count myself lucky really that after all the layers of shit that came with splitting up from the boys' dad, we've managed to find the friendship that was always there.
I expect your friend is at the point where they are bringing out the worst in each other but hopefully they can get past that eventually. Sad times...

Longest, look after yourself too, I know I sometimes absorb other people’s stress when they lean on me. Day 2, fab!

Frouby, maybe Feb 2021 will be your year to start?

Today is day 9 AF and dh says I look better and seem happier. I have boring interview prep to do today and shopping to put away but other than that no plans. I completed the Calm 7 days of managing anxiety last night, not sure how useful it was but I slept well so that’s good.

@leavingAqaba and @SenselessUbiquity how are you both doing?

Afternoon,
Hope everyone is okay. Been to the doctors and had my matazpine upped to 30 mg. She also recommended I go to an alcohol help place as although it's been two weeks I'm still getting urges to drink spirts when I'm highly stressed.
Mil is here until Sunday so I'm just keeping out the way and it's not been to bad xx

What kind of alcohol place does she mean Badger? Like an outpatient thing?
I've been reading the Annie Grace 30 Day Alcohol Experiment and I do think it's making a difference. Also, the longer I go AF the less desire I seem t have to drink. Although, I do wonder how I'll get on n Friday when I catch up with two of my oldest and favourite friends.
I told one of them this morning I was doing a sober November. He said: "Well I will utter no tempting words. It's all on you!" I guess I'm responsible for my own actions, eh?

Afternoon all

Have contacted OU water and there are 2 start dates a year, so can enrol in April for the course starting in October so it's all good. So will start October 2020 all being well. That term time fits better and the terms are 8 to 9 months so will get summer off each year after final assessments and exams in June/July.

Still feel rubbishy. Have the period from hell, not least because it's nearly 2 weeks early. Have been and done a morrisons big shop, picked a couple of birthday presents up for parties this week, picked 2 new pair of jeans up for me (binned a couple of pair this week as they had worn out) and juat sat having a post school run coffee. Am going to have a bath shortly and get my pjs on. It's so cold and windy and bitter here, really biting wind.

Hoping to be AF tonight. In fact I am going to be AF tonight. Under no circumstances am I going to have a lovely rhubarb and ginger gin which found its way into my trolley today. Not even for medicinal reasons.

Whoever is driving this bus needs to not stop it tonight, no matter how hard I press the button.

And in the interests of staying AF have just done some maths. I would be a very happy bunny if I could lose 2st. Based on drinking 2 or 3 cans of Carling, 5 or 6 nights a week it works out that I consume enough calories to gain 2 stone in 44 weeks. So if I stop drinking carling, in 44 weeks, without changing anything else at all, I could lose 2st.

2st in less than a year is not insignificant. Obviously I couldn't replace the carling with wine. And obviously I don't think I could be AF so it would take longer. But it makes you think. Makes me think anyway!

I did some similar maths with my PT the other week Frouby. It's fair to say the 3 stone I have gained in recent years is all down to wine.
Sucks, doesn't it?

Mega sucks.

Everything nice is calories. Everything.

Hi everyone! Decided this morning I was ambivalent about drinking tonight and would see if dh suggested it. Now desperately hoping he'll suggest it fml. Had the meeting from hell with Hmrc (work related thank goodness!) And an arsey email from one of my volunteers who has taken umbrage at something i said. Have to do presentation tomorrow which always takes it out of me and i agree with frouby, it is just so darned cold and unwelcoming.

Trying to think of something that would be equally cosy and comforting. Any suggestions?

Ps y re calories. And my legs have been hurting all week since park run which is putting me off doing it again.

Longest if you do running regularly it will hurt less, I promise!

But agree about the calories. 2 years ago I cut down from a lot of wine (probably 5 bottles over a week) to one bottle a week and lost 5 kgs in under 2 months.
Alcohol also leads to mindless eating and I stopped cheese which saved on calories too.
Not drinking also saves you money.

When I lived alone with the DC it was easy to stop drinking, but having an OH who enjoys an evening drink makes it more difficult to say no.