Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

senseless that's brilliant news, bet you feel loads better now.

longest I love philosophy, and was good at it before when I did OU. Am quite good at arguing and critical thinking so it's right up my street 😂😂. Teaching as I say isn't a particular vocation but the holidays to ride and weekends 'off' and still being around for ds in the holidays definetly appeals. I know it's definitely not an easy job, but the money is decent for entry level and I can study a subject that interests me rather than doing something that doesn't. Realistically by the time I have graduated things might change but will cross that bridge when I come to it.

need welcome to the thread. I rarely go out these days but in the past have done some bloody daft stuff. Hope you find this thread supportive.

Not dry tonight. Dh has driven me bonkers. He dropped his car off at the stables this morning to get it mended by one of my friends. He's fucked the gear selector plate up by gorilla glueing the knobby bit and his headlamps have needed replacing for ages. Then absolutely drove me md about when it would be ready. Then dragged me to his bosses big posh house in all my stables muck. Then whined he was hungry. Then whined he had to come back and pick his car up. Then gone for a lay down cos he doesn't feel very well. So have sent him to bed for a lie down and cracked open a can 😂😂😂.

Lol water i use that TED talk in some of my social mobility talks. Glad you liked it.

Fail. Got invited to last minute work drinks so AF got cancelled. Now wondering if it is worth stopping.

Good luck on sober November folks. Be interested how you get on. I found dry jan hard going but learned some useful stuff.

Senseless, I'm so relieved for you. And in awe. Excel would drive me to drink if I hadn't already been driven there by life.

No chance at all of me doing Dry November. I detest November, so want it to go by in a haze.

That said, I am AF tonight (put out the bunting). Only because I am so vilely hungover, though.

Frouby, your plan sounds fab. DH less so. I need reminders of why I wouldn't really like to marry DP and live with him for ever and ever (though I would, really).

He said the other day that he never drinks when he's alone in the evening. But as that is the case about once a month, I'm not sure it's that much of an achievement.

Water, health anxiety is the pits.

Good luck, NC4. I don't get anything from XH, and I could definitely do with it at the moment.

Hello, Need. I have never been a great one for going out, but if I did, I'd be a liability.

You don't get anything from XH Dion? That's a fucking scandal quite honestly.

Ok so i carried on drinking. Doh. Also feel slightly sorry not sorry about it which is very childish of me.

I hate November too Dion, apart from bonfire night which is over too quickly. Perhaps i am just pessimistic but all the posts about the rain and the dark and i keep thinking uh huh, that is what is shit about Autumn every year. Though to be honest i have enjoyed Autumn more than i expected to. I don't think it's Autumn itself i hate, it's the ominous portent of winter, and Christmas, and the fact that spring feels a disconcertingly long way away.

Just passing thru. Not been around as dd in hosp. She has a nasty skin infection. Originally treated as sepsis. Been incredibly ill but fingers crossed turned a corner. I never want to go through what I have the last few days. Sheer hell. She’s so vulnerable at the best of times. Really worried for her.

On a plus note....I’ve not even thought of wine!! So that means I’m not an alcoholic hey?? Two af’s under my belt by default and a few more to come I imagine. My liver will be rejoicing!!

Flossie, I am so, so sorry to read this. Absolutely nothing useful to say, but huge virtual hugs.

it's the ominous portent of winter, and Christmas, and the fact that spring feels a disconcertingly long way away

Perfectly said, Longest.

Flossie massive, massive hugs lovely. It's so frightening when our dcs are ill, even more so when they are already vulnerable xxxxxx

I do still like autumn though it has been a pretty soggy one. Sunday was beautiful, cold and crisp and sunny. Yesterday and today, not so much.

Off to stables this morning, then cousin coming for a coffee, then work work, housework and an aldi shop to fit in. Ds not coping well with return to school after half term. I started to think 'well it's not long til we go on holiday (15th December)' and felt better. Then started thinking sbout everything I need to get done before then, ds birthday and party to organise, all Christmas gifts bought and wrapped, holiday shopping, house Christmas ready, food shopping blah blah fucking blah.

So I stopped thinking about it lol.

Oh Flossie, sending massive hugs. So glad she has turned a corner. I hope you are home before too long.

I have found not thinking about it a pretty effective stress limiting strategy too Frouby. I have ordered a few harry potter bits for dd1 but that is it. My bff is getting married in London on the 27th dec and i have no idea who will babysit but trust something will turn up.

DM and Mil are both away this month so has been pretty quiet, apart from the desperate missives from mil who is finding it tough going with bil and sil. Dunno when dm is coming back. Would be nice to see her but she has form for just dropping in unannounced on her way back from France with unsuitable dp so i am a bit on edge.

Just squeezed into old jeans that haven't fit for a while so that's heartening. Must keep swimming and cycling up.

Woodcraft folk bonfire this evening.

Flossie, so sorry, much love xxx

Day 2 here and my anxiety is so bad I’m not remotely tempted. Finally got to sleep at midnight last night but wasn’t well and convinced myself I’d probably die overnight of liver or heart failure. Only symptoms are a slightly dodgy stomach the past two days but I was clammy with it last night and a bit panicky, a sort of adrenaline feeling. Did some deep breathing and gave myself a talking to and finally got to sleep. Slept for ten hours and I’m alive today so that’s a relief! Ffs at myself. Logically I think I ate something that didn’t agree with me over the weekend and also ds called me and stressed me out so it’s all a stress reaction I suspect.

So sorry about DD Flossie especially as she goes through so much with her breathing problems too she really doesn't deserve more health problems and it muse be terribly difficult for you. Good news that you aren't missing alcohol.

Water your anxiety attacks sound awful and alcohol is terrible for inducing anxiety so another good reason to be AF. I can't remember when I last slept for 10 hours, I'm lucky to get 7 most nights. And those 7 hours are 'wakeful' probably due to the menopause induced heat flushes at night.

Dion well done on being AF last night, I was too, about bloody time. I've been drinking and eating too much and it needs to stop. I need to lose a couple of kgs to get back to optimam racing weight.

Longest I use a lot of Ted Talks in my English lessons, hadn't seen the one Water posted about before.

Frouby I'm so lucky that Christmas chez nous is a very small affair, so not much planning required. I will run, we will then go up to the coast for a long walk, I will cook a roast something - it's just another Sunday here, but with a few presents. There is no Boxing Day so everything back to normal pretty quickly.

It's not quite as wet this week, we are catching 2 rats a day in the hen house and the 3 kitten/cats are still alive. We won't be putting down any more poison, just trapping and drowning the vermin. They like Camembert cheese.
Hopefully AF tonight but after the running club it is always tempting to have a drink after the effort!

Forgot to say, another autumn fan here. It's after Christmas I don't like, January and February. The weather is still mild, even though it's wet. I like getting up and going out for a run in the dark with my headlamp.You see all sorts of animals you don't usually see, this morning it was a badger who crossed just in front of me, the other evening a family of wild boar. And the best thing of all is lighting the woodburner and having a fire every night which makes the house really cosy.

Madame, I’m so glad your cats are still ok! I’d say I’m not generally an anxious person but you’re right about alcohol being terrible for anxiety. Enjoy tonight.

I’ve decided to focus on self compassion during this AF month, if anyone wants to join me you’re most welcome. So that means doing lots of things for me (as well as being AF, that’s the biggest thing I’m doing for me, has taken me a while to consider it as that fgs). Today I’ve used a nice body lotion, stuck to the blood sugar diet, listened to an hour long giving up alcohol hypnotherapy session on YouTube, here for anyone who is interested- no idea whether it’s good or not as my motivation is high atm anyway.
m.youtube.com/watch?fbclid=IwAR2vPKql18BIGIadSm7-jlHWRDO1KMkNBo6NMwmdPNJ4CIk0fnySXVF6YcY&feature=youtu.be&v=

I’m about to read a stack of magazines and I’ve also had my other cat on my lap quite a lot so that’s been comforting. And I’ve listened to a TED talk on what makes a good life (quality relationships is the answer so that’s good) it’s here if anyone is interested www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness

I hope dd is ok Flossie and I hope you are too.

NC4, how are you? Day 4 for you I think? I hope everyone else is ok too.

Water I will join you, I have been told I don't do enough for myself.
Today I made myself poached egg on toast for breakfast, which sounds silly but I only normally make it when dh is here. I also started knitting again and made my girls some bow. Waiting for an Amazon delivery of wool, gems, hairbands/clips and a glue gun and it's now been delayed until tomorrow/Thursday.
I've also bought some carrot cake to have when dcs are in bed.

Madame I'm so glad your kitties are ok. The rats have excellent taste in cheese. Bloody love Camembert!!

Water I've been having adrenaline dreams too. Apparently it's part of the booze leaving your system. Day 4 it is. I've got friends coming over for hotpot soon and we're going to the fireworks. I'm sticking to tea for my drinks though.

I like the sound of the YouTube hypnosis. I listened to your other TED talk last night but fell asleep. Meaningful relationships- I think that's the hole I drink to fill.

Flossie How is DD doing? Poor love has such a tough time, doesn't she. And you. How are you, love? 🌸

Madame see if you can track one of these down, they are brilliant as the rats can't get in them. I know when ours isn't high enough because of the amount of feed I am putting out.

Moderate night here, 1.5 cans, couldn't be arsed with the last half.

Had a good day. Managed to con BabyPony to stand still long enough to get on. Apparently if you shove a handful of feed in the front end the back stays still lol. She's only started fidgeting because my saddle slipped a couple of times so I can't hold it against her.

NC day 4 is fab, I can manage 2 easily, 3 at a push but 4 seems almost impossible.

Happy bonfire night everyone. Took kids to woodcraft folk bonfire. There were fireworks and sparklers and marshmallows and hot chocolate, good times. Had a nice time with dd1 before that too, just doing her homework with her while dd2 was at a playdate. She's angelic 1:1- like a different child.

AF tonight but definitely overdid it yesterday and have felt a bit hungover all day. Went for a lunchtime outdoor swim and bike ride though - i agree doing stuff for yourself is important.

Glad kitties are ok Madame, well done NC4 and water! Thinking of you, Flossie.

Thanks Frouby. I’m feeling pretty smug at walking past the pub tonight. The landlord was out the front with parched peas and hotpot, and of course collared me for a chat, but I kept on walking. It’s nice to be part of a community, but still. Go me!! Haha

Dion I meant to ask- why doesn’t XH pay for the kids?! That’s outrageous. Does he contribute to school fees or anything? I’d be CSAing his ass (says the woman who cacks it every time I need to ask for a review... 🤦🏼‍♀️)
Hey, check out my local park tonight. Free event. It’s proper lovely round here ❤️

Fab NC4! Here's my macabre guy burning shot.

What are parched peas?

Just googled them. Clearly i am not Northern enough. They sound nice though. I

I expected some kind of effigy Longest 😂
Parched peas are bloody lovely. Proper northern nosh (I’m not sure if they are specific to my town even?!) All vinegary and hearty.
Not for eating on dates, mind 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

Hi I hope you don't mind me posting .
I just want to have a bit of a detox really , not completely cut out alcohol but cut down.
I must of had a drink every day last week so by Sunday I felt urgh .
I'm finding that I can easily drink a bottle of wine and I don't even feel tipsy . I suppose I'm worried about my health a bit .
I usually have 2 alcohol free days a week but I'm going to try longer definitely till the weekend anyway and just drink on a Saturday, I'm not sure I can go that long .
Any tips would be great I'm 2 af days so far .

Wineisnecessary, you're already doing well if you've done 2 days AF .

I was intending to do a second AF day yesterday, but had half a bottle of wine as I remembered DS had left it in the fridge. FML. I didn't even feel particularly drunk, to my shame.

NC4 and Longest, XH pays some school fees (though he is on a bit of a winner there, as they obviously don't go on forever). We divided assets up in such a way that we had a "clean break" - only, for various reasons, this is very much to my detriment at the moment.

Water, good luck with your AF run. I think you're right to find other things that make you feel that you matter.

Relieved to hear the cat news, Madame!

I had never heard of parched peas either, but now want some.

I bet Frouby has a recipe.

Thinking of you, Flossie. I hope you and DH and DD1 are getting support from the people around you. I know you try all the time to support everyone else, but you need looking after too.

Wineisnecessary love your username and agree with it 100% (as long as it is red wine). Well done on 2 days AF, I used to manage 4 every week but since DP moved in I fail regularly to even manage 2 days a week!

Frouby thanks for the link, I will see if I can get one delivered to France. I'm fed up of drowning rats.

Water and Badger good for you on looking after yourselves.

NC4 Longest looks like bonfire night was fun! We don't have that in France of course, fireworks only on 14th July and of course it doesn't get dark until 11.30pm so it isn't very practical to watch the displays if you have young kids.

Flossie is DD any better, and how are you?

Dion I failed on Day 2 as well last night. After running (I do about 25kms on Tuesdays) I felt I deserved one beer with crisps, DP never says no and then we went on to share a bottle of red. Like you it had no effect, I felt absolutely fine this morning and ran better than ever so I can't even say that it is bad for me to drink.
Which of course long term it is.