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MNHQ have commented on this thread

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Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

MNHQ have commented on this thread

Alcohol support

Alcoholic DP relapsed, threatened suicide and now not answering phone

110 replies

winoforever95 · 02/09/2019 23:20

I've been in a relationship for the last 8 months with an alcoholic who was in recovery and doing amazingly. We've known each other 16 years and it was a fantastic relationship full of respect, support and understanding of each other.

He has had 2 slips over the last six weeks, after the first he got back on track but was too embarrassed to go back to AA meetings but worked on his steps with an AA friend and meditated. The first happened whilst I was on holiday with my daughter and was due to various issues in his life, housing and problems with his business.

The second happened last week. I'd invited him camping but when I went to pick him up he'd been drinking so I told him he couldn't come. We talked a lot whilst i was away, some days he was sober, some days not. I was got home today, he seemed better and more positive. I told him I was going to go to my first al anon meeting tonight. He tried to get me to go before but I never saw the need when he was sober but I realised this week that I needed to do something for me as it was affecting me heavily.

The meeting was difficult and I'm not sure if it is for me but when I got out he text me and said he was saying goodbye, he was going to hang himself from a tree. That was nearly two hours ago and he's not replied to my texts or calls since. I have no idea where he is, if he's gone through with it and I feel so helpless.

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OctoberLovers · 02/09/2019 23:24

Ring the police. They will carry out a urgent welfare call

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winoforever95 · 02/09/2019 23:26

What can the police do if I have no idea where he is? He got kicked out of his friends house where he was living over the weekend because he'd started drinking again and I have literally no idea where he could be.

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OctoberLovers · 02/09/2019 23:28

They could trace his social media / phone

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winoforever95 · 02/09/2019 23:32

Thank you

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GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 02/09/2019 23:32

Definitely ring police

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inboxmayhem · 02/09/2019 23:37

Ring the police. I do feel for you. Bastard alcohol, it's the devils work.

It will be ok

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ashtrayheart · 02/09/2019 23:44

How scary, so sorry and hope he is ok.

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winoforever95 · 03/09/2019 00:09

I phoned the police, just after I put the phone down his mum text me to say he's in the hospital but she doesn't know anything else yet, just waiting for her to get back to me with any information

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OctoberLovers · 03/09/2019 00:15

You need to ring 101 back and tell them

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 03/09/2019 00:17

I hope he is ok OP

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winoforever95 · 03/09/2019 00:18

I have phoned them back

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shivermetimbers77 · 03/09/2019 00:20

Good luck OP, hope he is ok

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winoforever95 · 03/09/2019 01:12

He tried to hang himself but fell from the tree. He has a fractured skull and a bleed on the brain, machines are keeping him alive currently.

I can't even get to the hospital as my daughter is asleep in bed. I'm in pieces.

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Broken11Girl · 03/09/2019 01:37

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duffyluth · 03/09/2019 01:45

Oh OP I'm so sorry to hear this.

I hope you are ok and can manage some sleep. Is your DD in school tomorrow so you can get up to the hospital?

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Peridot1 · 03/09/2019 03:27

I am sorry. Can anyone come and sit with your dd so you can go to the hospital?

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winoforever95 · 03/09/2019 03:48

I got hold of my elder adult daughter and she came and stayed with my youngest.

Got to the hospital to find he'd had a cardiac arrest as well, he's in a medically induced coma in ITU. I just sat and held his hand, so numb I can't even cry just feel like this is happening to someone else.

His mum was lovely to me and when I got there it turned out my sister in law is the nurse looking after him. She's sent us all home as she said he'll be kept sedated until morning.

Doubt I'll sleep but I want to be here when my daughter wakes up as I don't want her to worry about why I wasn't here, will go back in the morning and her sister will have her again.

Thanks for the support

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HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 03/09/2019 03:50

Oh love, what a terrible night. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
My story is very similar to yours. Alcohol, a jump from a balcony and life support for a week. We were in Crete so the rules over machines were different.
I remember the absolute disbelief and awful knot in my stomach. The next few days are going to be hard, I'm not going to lie. Please just concentrate on getting through one hour at a time, working up to a day. You will get through this but you'll need support.
You'll have loads of different feelings and they're all valid, anger at him, sadness etc.
Keep on posting on MN, I wish I'd reached out more, it would have definitely aided my recovery.
I'm so very sorry Op, the choices some people make have a devastating effect on others. I'm not getting into the alcohol is an illness debate, just stating a fact.
Be kind to yourself, you sound like a kind and caring person.
Unmumsnetty hugs.

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greentheme23 · 03/09/2019 03:50

Terrible news. Sending hugs.

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HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 03/09/2019 03:52

Sorry, x post.
That sounds awful
Sending you strength

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Urskeks · 03/09/2019 04:44

I hope you manage to rest. That's a lot to take in.

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MyOtherProfile · 03/09/2019 04:50

So sorry. Really glad you have been able to see him.

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FuckFacePlatapus · 03/09/2019 04:58

Sending my best wishes @winoforever95

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justilou1 · 03/09/2019 05:27

And support from Australia, so I’m awake if you need someone to chat to.

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Brenna24 · 03/09/2019 06:11

I am so sorry. What an awful shock for you.

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