It starts today

[Winter29]

I’ve had enough. I’m drinking far too much.
I cannot deal with the anxiety the next day.
I’m fed up of making excuses to have a drink.
Bad day, good day, sun shining, weather crap etc
I really want to do this , for my health and mental wellbeing.
Hopefully I will get some of you to join me but I’m going to use this thread for support so I can kick the habit.
Day 1

Honeybee27
Thank you
Monday is a new day for me
Today has been your new day. Don’t feel bad, believe me I have been there. I have said some horrendous things to my DH when I have been drunk.
I think as long as you know it’s wrong then it can be forgiven. I’m lucky, my DH doesn’t take it to heart. I’m determined tomorrow is a new start.
Keep your chin up and let’s do this x

How did everyone do yesterday?

So after 2 false starts I’m determined to beat this.
Day 1 for me
DH home today so no excuse for me to reach for the wine.
Not feeling great today, good luck everyone

Winter I completely get it - in that situation I'd have drunk too. But then I'd have found another reason the next night, and the one after...

That's why I'm so determined that it has to stop, at least in the short term, so that I can break the habit.

Last night was wine free, despite DH asking if I wanted to share "one last bottle". He's being really good and offering to do it too - we'll see how long that lasts! In fairness, he's much better than am I, and doesn't generally drink mid-week, so hoping that will help keep me it up.

And I did run this morning! So feeling pretty good so far, even if that's just one day.

Morning @Winter29
Hope you slept well. I had a lovely long sleep and can feel the beer fear subsiding a bit. Back to work for me today and for some stuff to do after work so hoping I keep busy enough to not reach for a glass of wine. I find that I'm most likely to start drinking around tea time as I'm preparing tea and if I can make it past that point I'm not usually that fussed. It's breaking that habit.
Get a shower and spruce yourself up for your DH coming home, you got this!

Thank you Honeybee27 and HeroicAlien
Hate that beer fear Honey!
Onwards and upwards
Going to tidy the house
Get some excercise and spruce myself up.
Today is another day

I will not be sad to see the back of beer fear Sunday and miserable Monday. Feel a lot better than yesterday but still really sad and fed up with myself. No booze since Saturday night but the real test will come later in the week. Dp wants to go out for a meal on Thursday and we always share a bottle of wine (or two) then.

I'm thinking that in moderation it's ok and when I can be sensible with it it's not a problem. I don't want to miss out on the nice aspects of it like getting a bit merry with dp at home on a Friday night or having a nice meal together.

But I still don't know if I'd be better going cold turkey just for now while I'm feeling so rubbish.

Honeybea27 I am the same situation I haven't drank since last weds but wanted a good few weeks off really but my boyfriend coming Thursday/Friday & I think we are going to go to cinema instead so i can avoid the booze. Were you drinking every night? I was but I don't want to stop forever, just a good break then socially

@Stresshead123 I've always been a social drinker but I was getting into bad habits of a bottle of wine most nights with dp at home as well. To be honest that wasn't really a problem (well I guess it probably was from a health perspective). But I never acted badly or felt ashamed of myself on those occasions.
What makes me want to change is when I go out drinking to the pub or nights out or weddings and so on and I just lose all track of how much I'm drinking. That's when the problems begin because I become nasty with dp, make a fool of myself in front of people, do really stupid things and then spend the rest of the weekend feeling horrendous.
It's that that I am determined to stop even if it means not going out socially for a while or forcing myself to drive in those situations rather than drink. A few is never just a few and I can't seem to find my off button.
But I'm trying to work out if it's still ok to have a few with dp at home or at meals etc (basically sensible drinking) or stop altogether. Either way I'll be massively cutting down.

Really craving a drink & i have eaten rubbish & my depression is bad today. I usually would of felt great by now after 5 drink free days. I caught a bug when away on holiday so maybe it's that. After around 7 days of no alcohol I usually feel so much better but can't see it yet.

@Stresshead123 that's probably because you're at the tail end of your bug. Having a drink might perk you up now but you'll probably feel worse after especially if you've already been ill.

Honeybee yeah that's true. Back at work tomorrow getting out of the house will help.

So sorry
Husband came back today and announced that he is leaving me.
Has met someone else and is ‘in love’
20 years down the drown
Obviously I’ve reached for the wine tonight
Sorry everyone
Thought this would be the start of a new me
How stupid

Drain obviously

Oh gosh am so sorry!

Omg @Winter29 I'm so sorry. Please keep talking we are here for you.

Hi everyone
Because of the news yesterday obviously I had a drink.

DH and I had an evening of soul searching. He has a fixation on a woman at work and I guess has been having a bit of an emotional affair.

Lots of problems in our marriage at the moment, which is why I guess I turn to the wine all the time.
I have decided that this isn’t going to break me. I can turn to the drink or use this as a massive wake up call to change my habits. I know that the drinking will only make things worse whichever way my marriage goes.

I am at fault in this marriage also, not excusing him but I can understand how this has happened.

Just wanted to let you know that I am ok (ish).
I really don’t want to go into too much detail about my marriage but as I said this has been a huge wake up call regarding my drinking and at least I can do something about that.

I’m going to leave this thread for a while. Not sure what the future holds but day 1 definitely starts for me today. I have no choice
Good luck to everyone. Weather you want to stop for good or just moderate. This isn’t going to beat me x

Hello I'd like to join in. I've drank for years for all the usual reasons. And stopped for the odd month, enjoyed sobriety so much but still gone back to drinking. Now I'm menopausal and just so fed up with the side effects booze causes.
I'm looking at the subconscious side of it because using logic doesn't work for me - I know why I shouldn't drink, it's like automatic pilot comes on and takes over
Anyone else looked into this side of it?
@Winter29 so sorry about your H. I hope you're OK despite the shock and sadness

Hi Rumred, just wondered what side effects with regards menopause you had if you don't mind me asking? . I keep getting really angry irritable with my boyfriend when I drink. I think I am possibly peri menopausal. It's a complex relationship though & I say some terrible things to him (Some truths) I did manage to not drink for nearly 3 weeks but had two bottles of wine last night & sent him some horrid messages & now think it may be over.

Have you read the unexpected joy of being sober? It's very inspiring

@Stresshead123 I find I'm getting drunk quickly and forgetting what I've said etc. It's really unpleasant. Someone told me yesterday I'd been a total nob (her words 😬) when I'd had a few drinks at theirs last week. I can't remember any of it, which is worrying.
And my anxiety and misery the next day are awful. I've other stuff affecting my mood but drinking definitely makes it so much worse.
I've read various books but it seems to be subconscious stuff that's pushing me to drink so logic doesn't work. It's draining

@rumred you sound a lot like me after a drink. I talk absolute rubbish, make a fool of myself and do some really silly things. Also had some blazing rows with my husband while under the influence. It's just not worth it and I always feel awful the next day.

I've tried to cut down over the last few weeks and have made a lot of progress. Have downloaded the dry days app to keep track of my progress and tbh the urge to drink has just disappeared a bit because I feel so much better for not drinking. I haven't gone tee total and am still having the odd drink here and there but nowhere near as much as I was and I've also not put myself in any social situations where I'm likely to binge drink to the point of being a nob either.

Try to keep busy with other things and stop yourself from entering situations where you're likely to drink a lot. Putting practical barriers in front of your subconscious desire to drink will help.

Hi @Dirtydancefloors I keep busy generally but a lot of of socialising is around booze.
And despite feeling great when I don't drink alcohol still calls to me on an evening. I've cut down but all I need is an evening at friends for moderation to disappear. Or a bad day. That's why I think I need to work on the subconscious stuff. Willpower, knowledge, experience, all go out the window when my brain switches to let's have a drink mode. It's work in progress