Tryers to be dryers spring into spring, not as much wine, beer or gin. We sow our seeds of hope for a dryer season, but if we drink, it's for a reason.

[Frouby]

Thread 5 for Tryers to be Dryers. A thread for those who want support for moderating or reducing alcohol. Whatever you hope to do, whether it's to have more dry days, or be less wet when you do drink, come and join us for support.

Absolutely no judgement here, just friendly support and chat, the odd swear (lots of swears to be honest). All welcome, new and old tryers to dryers.

Thank you for your kind words.

I'm pretty ok considering. I'm just trying to get to the point of being so grateful to have had him for so long. He was s complex and complicated character and suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. His thing was spies and undercover cops and MI5. He was an activist and protester. A big noise ( in both senses of the words) at the occupy protests at St. Paul's a few years ago and many other protests since. But was obsessed with under cover cops and his paranoia was accentuated because there really are undercover cops and MI5 does exist. Sectioning and anti psychotic s didn't help and in the end, he overdid it one night self medicating with drink and dugs and never woke up. What a waste of a brilliant mind and an amazing passion for looking after the underdog and the forgotten in society. And someone who really would have made a difference if only we had the medical knowledge to work out just how to help people with his problems. Threres a big story surrounding him. He did more in his 28 years than I've done in my 55 that's for sure.

Autumn, huge hugs to you. The most brilliant people are often the most troubled. The world needs people like your DS. What a shame he isn't here to know this. My DS is not the easiest (long story), but I would give him a very big hug now, if he were here. Thank you for sharing this. xx

Hugs are always good. I never have enough. My son was a great big bear of a hugger. I miss his hugs.

One thing for anyone who has older kids. Keep taking photos. You tend to have loads of when your kids are little. Especially the eldest one. You re times is scarcer with your younger ones. But you tend to take less and less as they get older. Keep on snapping. Photos are great memories.

Autumn, I can't begin to imagine this. My DS is not a hugger, and I say lots of grumpy things about him. He is difficult and hard work (AS), etc. But he is also immensely likeable, clever, funny and interesting. Even I love him beyond all reason and your posts have made me feel all the more grateful to have him. Not that this will be any consolation to you.

Taking photos is such a good idea. I have millions of photos from when my DC were small, but very few of them now. DD takes endless selfies, so there's no lack of photos of her - but DS can't be bothered with that sort of thing. I sometimes take screenshots of him when he Face Times me, just because he looks so lovely. He tells me off about it, but I'm all the more glad that I do it now that you've mentioned it. xxx

autumn I too cannot even imagine being with my dc. And would be in big trouble without them. My cousin (older brother to my lovely cousin who I as close to as my dsis's) is a paranoid schizophrenic and only just with us and not permanently committed due to an order that means he has to report for his anti psychosis meds by depo. He is also a drug addict, and now he is older (43/44) is running into some heavy duty health issues.

It's so very difficult for the family. He's a nice bloke when he's 'normal'. Funny, very clever, kind. But when he is ill he's a danger to himself and others. My cousin and aunt take the worst of it.

Its a good point about photos. Dd at 14 hides now or pulls daft faces. Must take more of her, if only to show her how beautiful she is at this age when she is older.

I hope you find some support on this thread on your journey to being in a better place with alcohol. We are all tryers, and although we get swampyed occasionally when I look at what the original posters started off at I think we are all doing so much better. I would never have thought this thread would still be going.

All I can say is thank fuck being dryer is an ongoing process or I would still be posting on either another fat club thread, or winding myself up on AIBU 😂😂😂

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Autumn your boy sounds like a wonderful young man, complex for sure, but caring about the right things.
My BIL had severe mental health problems and died a few years ago, it’s just awful and shocking when it happens. Medicine has come so far, but mental health has so far to go.
I do hope you find support here.
That’s a good point about day one Dion although I’m giving my halo a little polish having just completed it. No idea why. I’ve drunk stupid amounts this weekend. I need to be AF for a while now.
There’s no way I’m going to lose 3st before my holiday. We’re all very excited though!!!
Boys are buzzing.

Dionysa, lol at burning your bottom, ha ha and ha ha ha at the bear on a spa day! That’s funny.

Autumn, thanks for telling us more about your boy, you must miss him terribly. I take loads of photos of my ds, who is 22, he tolerates me saying “smile!” better than dd does, as she has to vet them all and he doesn’t care whether they’re nice or not! He’s had his MH issues and I’m acutely aware of how mentally fragile boys, girls and young adults can be, I feel for them all growing up in the world as it is.

Day 15 AF and BSD here and woohoo, I have the dentist today. As I haven’t been for 2 years I’m nervous and hoping he doesn’t say “OMG I CAN SEE FROM YOUR MOUTH YOU DRINK TOO MUCH, you have “ I know I need two fillings because I needed them last time but never went back for them so let’s hope there isn’t anything else wrong. I’m not usually this crap about health stuff: I go for my mammogram, smear tests, eye tests and check my BP at home having had a high reading last year but somehow I’ve been rubbish about this. But I’m going as part of my new regime of self compassion and self care. So fingers crossed!

Autumn I too hope you find support here.
NC congrats on booking. 10 days is a nice time period for some kind of health kick, right?
water how is the hand?
Frouby I didn't realize you had cut carbs too. I seem to get more pleasure and energy from low carb AF than AF only. I don't know if it's just because I kid myself by concentrating on the foods when wine is my actual issue (I don't have weight to lose). Anyway last week we did BSD in the week and relaxed BSD with wine on the weekend. Same plan this week. DH is traveling after that though so that's a different story.

Autumn hugs to you, it's great to have you on this thread. I can't imagine what you are going through, you are incredibly brave. The tip on photos is an excellent one.
Thanks for the info on child maintenance, and also to NC4, that's about what I thought it was. Have you booked yout holiday yet?
Frouby you've done so well this week and Water of course, AF for longer than I've been since my twenties.
Water Good luck for the dentist...

Autumn - my heart goes out to you. Your son sounds like a wonderful young man with an abundance or fire in his belly to do what he believed in. Definately more like him needed in society these days. I really do worry about the lack of mental health service provisions we have. We need to support these young people to ‘be’
Thank you so much for sharing your story. That last session you had, reading out to James, sounds like it needed so much strength.

NC4 - congrats on the money..bet you couldn’t believe it!! Holiday sounds just what you need!! Enjoy!!

Frouby - your new eating plan sounds like you’re nailing it!! What kind of meals are you having?

Dion - burning your bum!! 😂. How?!!!!

Longest - glad you got teddy back!! I think I’d cry as much as dd if we lost hers!!

So....I’ve been away in our camper last weekend, then had my parents stay a week. Didn’t know my head from my arse!! Run ragged. Decided to have a chilled wkend this one. Was lovely. Just the 4 of us, and with ds chipping in on phone. We went on a lil boat trip yest. I drunk a bottle of wine, then ate nachos that were quite fatty. (Deep fried and I don’t eat fried food normally). Anyway, came home and was sick!! Have a really bad sick phobia. Haven’t been sick for 12 years!!
Wondering if the rose wine I had was not tolerated as well as my trusty white!! Who knows!! Anyway I’m fine today and have a big conversation going on in my head as to where this leaves me with my drinking!! I’ve been drinking nearly a bottle of wine a day for the last two weeks. I need to cut it right back!! It’s just life seems bloody determined not to support me on this!!

Welcome back flossie, sorry you were sick.

My hand is better, thank goodness, I kept it in a jug of water until 11.30 last night and it’s fine this morning.

Turns out it’s three years since the dentist told me I needed 2 fillings, and I didn’t go back, oops, and now I need 3 fillings and to see the hygienist, which I detest. Dentist only had time to do 2 of the fillings today so I’m back the week after next for the third, urgh. Seeing the hygienist this Friday, deep joy. So I’m £380 lighter but at least he didn’t say “OMG YOUR MOUTH IS FUCKED FROM DRINKING SO MUCH” or anything of the kind!! So I’m quite relieved really.

And I bought myself this from Waitrose on the way home so I can have my water and 🍋 lemon, nice isn’t it?

www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/waitrose-home-fruit-infuser/795958-658653-658654?gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=CjwKCAjwq-TmBRBdEiwAaO1en8sJtU0haBCCWRxxpNf49xJqPVEf3XV87X66ALLvsmuwNvpYUvdgeBoCgEMQAvD_BwE

Btw, the injection for my filling was a bit like having an alcoholic drink: I felt flooded by adrenaline, which was weird, I’ve only had one filling previously and I don’t remember that feeling but maybe it’s because I've been AF for a couple of weeks this time? That can’t be right but I don’t remember that effect the first time round. It wore off, obviously! And I didn’t have a drink, obviously!

Nice one on the tax rebate NC. I love holidays and planning them. I've been to Greece in May twice and was lucky with weather. Would love to go back. South Spain and Algarve also have good weather in May and possibly cheaper. I loved north Tenerife in Oct (No beaches to speak of in north but beautiful). Greece wins for beaches, then the Algarve

Water, I've had a similar injury. Hurt a lot.

I've had a good weekend. I had one glass of wine thurs and one Sunday. I enjoyed less than I used too. I obsessed less about the fact I was going to drink then. My mindset seems to be changing (for now).

Any one got Netflix? I watched wine country just released. Mainly I pitted the hangovers rather than feeling jealous of the wine. I still want to go to Napa though (and Marlborough). One reason I don't want to do zero booze, Its going to be a decade before I can tick them off my bucket list.

I'm planning a loft conversion so holidays in uk for a while.

Flossie, I'm so sorry that you were ill. I share your fear!! The bum-burn came about because I leaned on the oven door, not realising the seal had broken. 😂

Also sorry to hear about the dentist, Water. I go every six months because I'm so scared of needing something done if I leave it any longer. I hate it, though. I also hate local anaesthetics because they make me go all weird and faint. At least your hand is feeling better.

So exciting about your holiday, NC4. It is so long since I went on holiday that I am enjoying other people's holidays vicariously.

Flossie I always find if I eat fatty, takeaway food it makes me ill. KFC in particular gives me a dodgy tummy, at least every other time I have it. Especially if I have a zinger burger or the hot wings, thing it's the combination of oil and the hot spices. Can eat a really hot curry and be fine.

Mealwise am just doing normal food, but with the usual fatclub tweaks. We're having crustless quiche tonight, made with cottage cheese with airfryer chips and beans. Was supposed to be salad but it looks a bit limp so beans instead. Tomorrow we are having cod, new potatoes and veg. Wednesday I might do a seafood salad with a jacket potato. Thursday I haven't thought about yet. Had a normal sunday lunch yesterday which I do as normal and just have more veg and less roast potatoes and 2 Yorkshire puddings. Saturday was steak, parminter potatoes and salad. Friday we had indian takeaway but I had chicken shashlik rather than a curry. Thursday we had fatclub fryup, everything grilled, poached eggs, heck sausages and fat off the bacon.

So everything we would normally eat. I don't really eat lunch, but if I do I have leftovers with salad, or tuna salad. Or I have weetabix and a banana to make sure I get my B choice in.

2lbs off tonight, I cheated though and drank a pint of water before I went as I suspect I will struggle next week due to Big Night Out. Knew had lost about 3lbs so 'banked' one for next week 😂😂😂.

Cotton I have been to north Tenerife, puerto de la cruz is it? Very, very pretty and it does have a few small beaches. Stunning scenery and was very authentically European rather than the more British south. But we prefer the south as we tend to go in December and the weather is warmer.

Not quite dry tonight, had 1 gin and now on the diet coke.

Flossie I find when I drink rose, I’m fine and I’m fine and I’m fine and then I’m HAMMERED. There’s no gradual build up. I had a random rose puking experience last summer, and I’m never sick. My friend had to put a blanket over me on her sofa and let me sleep it off.
Hugs to you.
More good chub clubbing Frouby. I walked to work today. It was so gorgeous out it’d be rude not to.
Enjoy my holiday vicariously Dion. That’s what I usually do. I’ll post some pics if you like!
I am teetering tonight. It’s been a busy day and I got in at 7.15 to find my mum here interfering. She’d made my tea which was kind, but unless you respond in exactly the right way she takes the hump and acts the martyr. Tonight I got it wrong. She’ll be on the phone to our kid moaning about me now. FML.

Well the honeymoon period of AF during week with BSD has worn off here. DH lost a bit of weight right away and had some good nights sleep, now the weight plateaued and he had two terrible nights. I really thought I was on to something. Annoying. He has had problems, on and off, with sleep adult life. I think it's deep seated stress though.

Leaving . Might it improve again if you can get over this hump?

Frouby, I want to come and live with you and be fed properly. I can't think beyond what's for breakfast, never mind decent dinners. Plus there's always something that someone won't eat.

NC4, I laughed about your mum.

Had a can of G&T last night, followed by the small remainder of gin in the bottle. Not sure why I bothered, really, because it didn't make me in the slightest bit merry, so it was a load of calories for nothing.

Dion I think you are right and worth a shot. His sleep is such a long standing problem it would have been a miracle and weight is not a lot but a couple of really stubborn kg around the middle, which is difficult. Shame because he was actually enjoying it last week. Perhaps this is a bit weird of me as it's not even about me, but the mood of others around you can make a big difference. I'm playing with the idea of a more holistic approach involving both of us, for myself I feel more able to always use the stairs, walk more etc as part of a 'package deal' than just lay off the booze in isolation. Perhaps I'll even go to the dentist water not really

Dion dd feeds herself these days. Ds is easy, he will eat most things apart from veg or anything spicey. I stopped trying to feed us all the same thing last year. The only thing they all eat is sunday dinner. Obviously it would be the faffiest thing to do and most time consuming but at least they all eat it and enjoy it.

Dh knows if he moans he can make his own dinner. Dd would rather make her own anyway.

frouby during the week I mostly do tea for the kids at 6ish and us after. Not the same things. Last night the kids had rice noddles which they like, the eldest had left over chicken curry with it which the little one ate the first time around but didn't want this time . I gave him omelette "why is it all white mummy?". Cause I already used the yolks to make mayonnaise for our dinner

Dion, do you have a freezer? I have taken to making giant vats of soup snd freezing them in portions. No one else will eat it but at least I feel better having had a nutritious lunch. It is so easy and so cheap. I fry onions and garlic then pour in a bag of lentils and a bag of frozen spinach, or any veg I have lying around. Last week they had bags of parsnips for 11p on yellow label in Tesco so I bought the lot and roasted them whole before mashing them with a hand blender. Add stock and whatever spices I fancy and I have lunches for a fortnight. You could buy posh crusty bread to turn it into a serviceable dinner. Hardest bit is finding enough Tupperware to store it all but we get through a lot of giant yoghurt pots so I store those.

Last night I went out for dinner with DH. Was nice but a zillion calories and too much wine. Ah well. New leaf today. I am going to Bristol for work. Quite looking forward to a two hour train journey each way by myself, though sodding tube is delayed and stressing me out.

Hi everyone. I don’t want to lose you all so checking in even though I am neither a tryer or dryer! I really need a healthy dose of motivation. After another boozy weekend I was meant to be AF last night but DH and DS were out so DD and I had a very rare evening on our own watching a film so I decided that I needed wine to mark the occasion 🙄 I had three quarters of a bottle. I’m out tonight so planning to be AF and hopefully AF the next night too.

Autumn - I am so very sorry for your loss

NC4 - fab news about your windfall and holiday plans.

Cotton - I saw a trailer for Wine Country, it looks good. You are doing really well with moderating. I really would love to be like that.

Frouby - well done on more weight loss. You really know how to play the fat club system don’t you 😂

Waterandlemonjuice - I admire your willpower. I hope your mouth (and hand) feel ok today.

Oh I love a solo train ride Longest. Take a book! On the subject of which, has anyone read anything good lately?
Dion we eat together at 6pm. If it’s late DS2 tells me I’ve failed him 😂
I was almost AF yesterday. Had a pint in the sunshine on my way home from work but didn’t buy the bottle of wine that was calling my name. It took a lot of resistance, so I’m pleased with myself.
Tired this morning, and only have a half day’s work to do, so I might have another 40 winks.

Ah CanShop I think we all still check in when we’re not very dry (or trying). Good to see you.