Adoption Disruption Artcle BBC

[Arran2024]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0kdv1x83gko?fbclid=IwdGRjcAOWpIBjbGNrA5ajsmV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHj2E0wixnkdSOHi_x24ac0hK4gkFMpcvrO119IF8PQWTeFFXniPST25KOofI_aem_AC3sgw9xa0U1QuclunpLzA

Yes, I/we are one of the 50 families featured here. I am delighted that our truths have been told today.

@ThePieceHall
And good for you for putting yourself out there
Xx

Thank you. This has taken a lot of hard work, working with the BBC journalists for six months to ensure that our stories were told adequately and honestly. Today has been a bitter-sweet day. The story has apparently had more than one million views on the BBC website. I sincerely hope that those in high places in the world of adoption will sit up and take notice now. The lack of support for adoptive families and the treatment of adopters who have reached the end of the road after years of heartache and abuse is a national scandal.

I read the articles and thought 'there but for the grace of God ...' It is such a lottery, but the lack of support when things don't work is disgraceful.

@ThePieceHall
Im aware that it's being very actively discussed in the Dept for Education adopters network, 3 of whom have had children returned to care, and another one who is still battling on.

Ill try and get some info on what the response is more widely in the dept.

If there’s any consolation for having been arrested on a false allegation and detained in a police cell for 21 hours, it’s that the adoption bigwigs with their self-congratulatory MBEs might be feeling slightly uncomfortable today. I am delighted to know that this is being discussed at DfE level. Honestly, I believe it’s the next Post Office scandal as we are now scouting human rights lawyers and barristers. There has been a successful test case in Scotland with one or two more in the wings. Personally speaking, I want justice for how I have been treated when I could no longer endure the years of physical violence, aggression and verbal abuse in my household. My LA’s response was to put me through s.47 Child Protection proceedings on the grounds of emotional harm because I dared to enlist the help of Damien Dobson (lawyer) to seek to have my AD1 re-accommodated.

Please everyone, listen to the File on 4 Investigates programme which has gone live today on the R4 website.

Thank you and agreed.

Some of you may be aware that Im now a foster carer.
Support for children in care is also atrocious

Agreed. But it’s not an either/or they/we issue. Today is about how badly significant numbers of adoptive families have been comprehensively failed by local and central government.

@ThePieceHall

No of course not, just making the point.

Do you know if Newsnight are picking it up, they have done a huge amount of work over the last few years on children's issues

Not sure. We are pushing the story far and wide. This has been six months in the making. The File on 4 story now gives us credibility to seek appropriate human rights lawyers and barristers. There are very many hundreds of us who have been wronged by our LAs and the family courts.

@ThePieceHall

I wonder if the Dept and local govt will try and pass the buck between themselves

I was seeing on TV today the suggestion that care leavers should get the post age 25 amount of benefits from 18. That seems pretty reasonable to me as they won't have any support from family, and despite all the MNetters saying 'I moved out at 16 and look at me now' I think being moved into a flat at 18 and left to it must be pretty difficult.

Tbh this isn't new. Adopters have been trying to raise awareness of this since I adopted 24 years ago. Prospective adopters simply don't want to hear it and are so pleased to be matched, they don't ask for the support they will need.

Imo most adopted children are inherently extremely challenging to parent and need loads and loads of support and even then it's not always going to be enough.

I give no wotsits - as long as they know we are coming for them! We are an army of very many hundreds now.

Not arguing with this. The point we are making is that LAs are threatening us with police and family court involvement when we have had enough. If I can spare one other, well-meaning prospective adopter from experiencing the living hell I have endured then my job will be done. I’m 20 years in now. I have seen and lived it all.

It could have been me, reading this, we yesterday launched a full scale assault of our LA demanding exactly what should happen. Prophetic in some respects, I suspect that I am in the hen house, I wasnt but I would love to be.

My AD1 turns 18 at Christmas. She will be moving out of our family home. Honestly, after 17 pretty hellish years, I feel like my job is done. There’s nothing like sitting in a police cell for 21 hours to help you establish your life priorities. I will continue to scaffold and support my AD1 and parent her at arm’s length (she cannot organise the proverbial in the proverbial) but I can no longer have my home, my place of sanctuary violated by violence and the resulting police visits. It will be great if my AD1 will qualify for enhanced benefits, if anyone deserves them, she does. I will, of course, be the person filling in the forms.

I’m sad that you are in the club that no one wants to be part of. Please know that you are not alone. There is good support among us.

@ThePieceHall

Does she have somewhere to go or are you still fighting for that.
I don't think anyone would blame you, least of all fellow adopters
I hope this will lead to a more peaceful time for you and AD2.

I am not in your position, but have had limited/low contact with my eldest for over 5 years now, and that is without violence, police etc, just 'stuff' mainly coming from early life experiences. That has been hard enough.

My heart goes out for all in your position.

My LA has (once again) acted unlawfully in not providing a transition plan to adulthood in her EHCP. Children’s services kicked the can down the road for a couple of years, even despite my kids being on CP and CiN plans following my arrest etc. They panic-rushed a transition to Adult Services once I kicked up a fuss. AD1 has a new Adult Services SW, who has visited once but - typically - gone AWOL/silent. She seemed very nice and managed to engage with AD1 and her plan was for Shared Lives accommodation, especially as AD1 told her that she does not enjoy living here. AD1 is 18 straight after Christmas so the clock is ticking (fast).

I hear you. I think it’s important to talk here about the realities of adoption. We all start with hopes and dreams but it is literally a roll of the dice as to whether we get to experience a happy life.

I also am beginning to think that all adopted DC should have an EHCP by default.