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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

QuercusIlex · 01/12/2025 23:53

ThePieceHall · 30/11/2025 11:59

As I’ve said, it’s working currently for my AD2 but AD1 has no contact at all and never has. Her birth father is dead now so that’s another missing piece of the jigsaw for her. I’m not advocating direct contact for everyone. I’m just giving an example of how it’s (currently) working for my family. Flexibility and openness is the key, in my opinion. In the main, birth parents who have had their children removed by the state are themselves victims of failure by society.

I really disagree with your last point of framing birth families as victims; in my opinion, this mentality is quite prevalent in adoption circles and contributes to the problems discussed in this thread. Children get removed for a variety of reasons, so there's nuance, but in the UK you have an extensive net of support for people with mental illnesses and other issues, they get housing and benefits, etc. Respectfully, I think people born here take it for granted and bash it a lot, when in reality social support tends to be way above what it is in most places in the world. In my country of origin, this amount of social programs and benefits would be unthinkable and economically impossible to carry out.

More often than not, I find it's the consequences of the birth families' own actions that lead to child removal. Framing them as victims does a disservice to all involved, since it enables bio families to not address the problems of their choices and behaviours and the impact those have on others, including their biological children. Of course trauma has an impact on people, but the moment you inflict your own trauma on another person, you become responsible for the harm you perpetuate. This applies to everyone in the adoption triad, including adopted children who, after having reached an age of certain maturity and responsibility, still chose to hurt their parents and siblings due to their trauma, instead of dealing with it in better ways. I'm not suggesting we start to demonize people, but having trauma and a complicated family life does not give you a pass to engage in harmful behaviour and on top of that get a back pat. Parents who have given their children a lot of the tools to thrive in life have nothing to be ashamed of; of course there's always room for improvement, but a lot of these parents obviously are doing things well and trying their absolute best to help their children.

There's also the issue of social services being underfunded and adoption being the last resort; I don't disagree with adoption as a last resort, but in practice it means that funding for post adoption support comes last too. I know women who almost lost parental rights of their birth children, and they received extensive support to keep their children with them, sometimes not working for decades while they "got their life together" - which again, in my country of origin would be absolutely unthinkable to live off the government for decades, the social shame would rightly be tremendous and in all honesty I think there's a point in which it becomes a bit of a pisstake. I think they're good mothers so I support the decision to keep the families together, but they should do more to support themselves. After engaging with adoption services during 2024-2025, the feeling I get is that SWs try their hardest to keep bio families together, make prospective adopters aware of the traumas and developmental needs of adopted children and to make clear that love is not enough to magically solve everything, so some changes in the right direction are already being made, luckily. I really had issues with social workers during the process, but in all honesty they work pretty hard and they too are damned if you do, damned if you don't. I got the feeling that a lot of them were spread very thin but did all they could while following very strict guidelines.

I agree with other posters in that more contact with birth families is the wrong move as a general rule; for a lot of adopted children, that is where their trauma originated and it could easily become retraumatizing and trigger them further. A better solution would be to help adoptees with emotional regulation, better coping mechanisms instead of destructive ones and with creating a positive image of themselves independently of how others view them, be it adoptive or bio families, imo.

I'm an adopter who has met families in severe crisis and had my fair share of severe problems with my family as a teen due to several reasons, so I have a foot in both camps. Those things absolutely happen with birth children too, it's taboo to acknowledge but in my country of origin abuse between bio relatives is rampant (the lack of government help makes it harder to cut ties with abusive relatives). Some of the feelings and stories from difficult adopted children really resonate with me. If you are born in an environment that makes you internalize you're the problem, it is more likely that you will behave accordingly, thus reinforcing the cycle - it's hard to get out of it, and it's hard for other people to reach out to you and help you when you're in that state of mind. But healing is possible, and at the end of the day we are all responsible for our own actions and for our impact in the world and those around us.

ThePieceHall · 02/12/2025 02:14

user1471464167 · 01/12/2025 21:59

Actually we made a 30 min programme for national adoption week with our eldest being filmed at school youth club and home and pointing out the CD player he had smashed up the night before !

Good for you!

Jellycatspyjamas · 02/12/2025 09:20

I have indeed - I’m pleased the local authority apologised, but they’re still being defensive. The family deserve so much better in all of this, the dad has carried himself with dignity throughout.

ThePieceHall · 02/12/2025 09:24

Jellycatspyjamas · 02/12/2025 09:20

I have indeed - I’m pleased the local authority apologised, but they’re still being defensive. The family deserve so much better in all of this, the dad has carried himself with dignity throughout.

Agreed. And absolutely massive kudos to him for being like a terrier with a bone. Here in England, we’re now looking for human rights lawyers who will work with us.

EHCPWarrior · 30/01/2026 13:40

Here is the answer. They have been hiding behind the RAA / local authority facade. Warwickshire County Council today confirmed in writing that Warwickshire County Council and Adoption Central England (RAA) have been avoiding there legal duties to provide statutory adoption support for the last 7 years to anyone with and adopted child in Warwickshire because of the way the regional adoption Agencies were created. They have systematically denied support to everyone in crisis and this explains the national scandal. Fuming but they have finally agreed to do their legal duty for every adopted parent in Warwickshire. If you need adoption support from Warwickshire contact ACE tomorrow.

ThePieceHall · 30/01/2026 14:02

EHCPWarrior · 30/01/2026 13:40

Here is the answer. They have been hiding behind the RAA / local authority facade. Warwickshire County Council today confirmed in writing that Warwickshire County Council and Adoption Central England (RAA) have been avoiding there legal duties to provide statutory adoption support for the last 7 years to anyone with and adopted child in Warwickshire because of the way the regional adoption Agencies were created. They have systematically denied support to everyone in crisis and this explains the national scandal. Fuming but they have finally agreed to do their legal duty for every adopted parent in Warwickshire. If you need adoption support from Warwickshire contact ACE tomorrow.

Please could you provide a link to this?

EHCPWarrior · 30/01/2026 14:50

"Three simple questions for any adoptive parent to ask their Regional Adoption Agency:

  1. Who is your host local authority, and can you confirm you are not a separate legal entity from that LA?
  2. Who is responsible for conducting Adoption Support Services Assessments (ASSA) under the Adoption and Children Act 2002 and the Adoption Support Services Regulations 2005?
  3. Can you carry out that assessment and produce me a Regulation 16 Support Plan?
If they can't answer these clearly — or if they try to route you to Children with Disabilities, Children in Need, or generic Section 17 support — they may be failing their statutory duty. I had to fight for 19 months and instruct lawyers before Warwickshire admitted in writing that they'd been applying the wrong framework for 7 years. Don't let it take that long for you."
EHCPWarrior · 30/01/2026 15:04

Sorry it’s a letter from the LA rather than a public statement.

EHCPWarrior · 03/02/2026 13:02

It's done. Warwickshire has admitted in writing that adoptive families were denied their statutory rights for seven years. The framework is being fixed. The Executive Board is reviewing. The MP is engaged. The Commons debate is coming.
If you're an adoptive family who was denied support, told there was 'no unmet need,' or routed to Children with Disabilities instead of getting an Adoption Support Assessment you were failed by design.
Ask your RAA the three questions. Point to Warwickshire's admissions. Demand what you're entitled to.
The landscape has changed. For everyone

Dear [RAA / Local Authority],
I am an adoptive parent seeking adoption support. Before proceeding, I would be grateful for clarification on three points:

  1. Who is your host local authority, and can you confirm that the Regional Adoption Agency is not a separate legal entity from that LA?
  2. Who is responsible for conducting Adoption Support Services Assessments (ASSA) under the Adoption and Children Act 2002 and the Adoption Support Services Regulations 2005?
  3. Can you carry out an ASSA for my family and produce a Regulation 16 Support Plan in accordance with ASSR 2005?
I ask because Warwickshire County Council recently admitted in writing that it had been applying the wrong statutory framework to adoptive families for seven years, and that families "without the capacity to research" were unaware of their rights. I would like to ensure my family receives the correct assessment under the correct framework. Yours faithfully,

[Name]

ThePieceHall · 03/02/2026 14:19

EHCPWarrior · 03/02/2026 13:02

It's done. Warwickshire has admitted in writing that adoptive families were denied their statutory rights for seven years. The framework is being fixed. The Executive Board is reviewing. The MP is engaged. The Commons debate is coming.
If you're an adoptive family who was denied support, told there was 'no unmet need,' or routed to Children with Disabilities instead of getting an Adoption Support Assessment you were failed by design.
Ask your RAA the three questions. Point to Warwickshire's admissions. Demand what you're entitled to.
The landscape has changed. For everyone

Dear [RAA / Local Authority],
I am an adoptive parent seeking adoption support. Before proceeding, I would be grateful for clarification on three points:

  1. Who is your host local authority, and can you confirm that the Regional Adoption Agency is not a separate legal entity from that LA?
  2. Who is responsible for conducting Adoption Support Services Assessments (ASSA) under the Adoption and Children Act 2002 and the Adoption Support Services Regulations 2005?
  3. Can you carry out an ASSA for my family and produce a Regulation 16 Support Plan in accordance with ASSR 2005?
I ask because Warwickshire County Council recently admitted in writing that it had been applying the wrong statutory framework to adoptive families for seven years, and that families "without the capacity to research" were unaware of their rights. I would like to ensure my family receives the correct assessment under the correct framework. Yours faithfully,

[Name]

This is brilliant. Well done for your fight. I wonder if this is only confined to Warwickshire?

EHCPWarrior · 03/02/2026 14:27

No chance it’s national, every RAA is operating the same model.

ThePieceHall · 03/02/2026 18:45

EHCPWarrior · 03/02/2026 14:27

No chance it’s national, every RAA is operating the same model.

So sorry to be a grammar pedant (welcome to Mumsnet!) but do you mean ‘no chance, it’s national’? In which case you may have blown the doors of so-called adoption support and the functioning of the RAAs!

EHCPWarrior · 03/02/2026 19:52

Yes sorry I’ve blown the doors off for everybody…. Within ACE they have agreed that none of their processes were lawful and that they have just been using ASGF funding rather than the statutory framework of 2002 and the 2005 regulations. Which says every adopted family if a need is identified should have a full plan(like and EHCP) covering education health and home. So if that’s PA’s and respite the legislation says they need to provide it. What has happened is that when RAA were created they sit in one local authority, but brand themselves as separate. The partnership agreement says that they can do work for the other LA’s in the partnership but statutory duties remain with the LA where you live. However the LA’s thought they had passed duties to the LA and direct you to the RAA for support, the RAA has gone no we only do that bit and you never break the cycle. The reason is it’s now going to be very expensive. Because when everyone asks for what they need the LA has to provide it if it’s an assessed need. They can’t down grade it, can’t send it to a panel. The plan has to be written and someone has to be accountable and it has to be reviewed annually. So in my case I have 2 DC who cannot be left in the same room together, a disabled wife due to a stroke and total chaos. Both children receive 1:1 specialist school EHCp’s the first taxi collapsed because they fought in it. So the LA laid on a minibus. When I pointed out that if they are doing that for the school run how am I supposed to cope driving in a normal car with a disabled wife and two children with a wheelchair and maintain family life DD attacks her mum. So conclusion to meet the requirements of the ASSA they need to provide a larger vehicle. Their own risk assessment damned them. Same with the PA SS wrote dad needs 2 people to help maintain the children. SS before today was panel quantum…. After today it is need LA must meet need. The 2002 and 2005 regulations were supposed to provide unqualified support we all know that never happened.

EHCPWarrior · 03/02/2026 19:58

ThePieceHall · 03/02/2026 18:45

So sorry to be a grammar pedant (welcome to Mumsnet!) but do you mean ‘no chance, it’s national’? In which case you may have blown the doors of so-called adoption support and the functioning of the RAAs!

Should have run the post through GPT first, it's fine usually I am grammatically correct, but I am so chuffed and pleased I held out so that everyone would benefit, they tried the this is a special case... we can do it for you.... but this is the systemic problem so as a vicar it felt only right to speak truth to power.

EHCPWarrior · 03/02/2026 20:04

This was the nail in the coffin.

Further to my earlier email today, I write to set out the relevant legal framework under the Adoption Support Services Regulations 2005 (ASSR 2005), which I believe requires urgent clarification:

The Statutory Framework
Having reviewed ASSR 2005 in full, I note the following:

  • Regulation 14: The Local Authority must assess the needs of the person and how these "might be met."
  • Regulation 16: The Local Authority must prepare a plan in accordance with which adoption support services are to be provided. Regulation 16(4) requires a nominated person to monitor the provision of services in accordance with the plan.
  • Regulation 17: Before making any decision, the Local Authority must give the person being assessed an opportunity to make representations.
  • Regulation 18: The Local Authority must notify the decision and provide reasons.

The Critical Point
The only place for discussion within this framework is Regulation 17, which gives the family the right to make representations about the proposed support plan — not the authority.
There is no statutory mechanism for the Local Authority to "negotiate down" the support required once need has been assessed. The plan may be improved in light of representations, but not reduced.
The Local Authority may of course consult internally before finalising the plan. However, once need is assessed and the plan is drawn, the Local Authority is under a duty to meet those needs.

What the Regulations Do Not Provide

  • There is no mention of a "Resource Panel" in ASSR 2005.
  • There is no mechanism allowing such a panel to override assessed need.
  • There is no provision for a "negotiation stage" between assessment and provision.
The nominated Adoption Support Services Adviser (ASSA) has a clear legal function: to monitor that support is provided in accordance with the plan. The ASSA does not approve reductions, apply budget filters, or override assessed need.

Why No Appeal Mechanism Exists
Unlike EHCPs under the Children and Families Act 2014, the ASSR 2005 framework does not require a tribunal because it is structurally needs-led. If a need is identified, the authority must meet it.
The absence of a statutory appeal process reflects the fact that there is no discretion to reduce support. Regulation 17 exists to protect the family — to request more, not to defend against less.
If Warwickshire County Council operates a system in which assessed needs are routinely overridden, reduced, or capped by a budget-led panel, then the Council is operating outside the statutory framework.

Parallels with EHCP Law
As with EHCPs:

  • Need is assessed
  • Provision is specified
  • The Local Authority must provide what is in the plan
What would be unlawful in an EHCP — downgrading a plan after need is identified — is no less unlawful in an adoption context.

Legal Consequences of a Budget-Led System
A system in which:

  • A panel imposes caps on assessed need;
  • A "negotiation" stage downgrades support already identified as necessary;
  • Budget constraints replace assessment-based planning —

would be:

  • Ultra vires: No statutory basis in ASSR 2005
  • Wednesbury unreasonable: Irrational to assess need and ignore it
  • Procedurally unfair: Regulation 17 protects the family, not the budget
  • Incompatible with Article 8 ECHR: Breach of family life rights, and not "in accordance with law"

Denying assessed support after assessment is not lawful, not necessary, and not proportionate — especially where harm has already been documented.

Specific Questions for Clarification
I therefore ask the Council to confirm:
(a) If the ASSA identifies a need for 80 hours of support, is the Local Authority obliged to provide that — or does the Council assert that a Resource Panel may reduce that figure?
(b) On what statutory basis does the Resource Panel operate, given that ASSR 2005 contains no reference to such a mechanism?
(c) Does the Council accept that Regulation 17 provides the family the right to make representations — and not the authority the right to reduce assessed support?
(d) Does the Council accept that the ASSA's role under Regulation 16(4) is to monitor provision in accordance with the plan, not to approve reductions or limit quantum?
(e) Does the Council accept that the ASSR 2005 framework is needs-led, and that assessed needs must be met?

ThePieceHall · 03/02/2026 20:48

EHCPWarrior · 03/02/2026 19:52

Yes sorry I’ve blown the doors off for everybody…. Within ACE they have agreed that none of their processes were lawful and that they have just been using ASGF funding rather than the statutory framework of 2002 and the 2005 regulations. Which says every adopted family if a need is identified should have a full plan(like and EHCP) covering education health and home. So if that’s PA’s and respite the legislation says they need to provide it. What has happened is that when RAA were created they sit in one local authority, but brand themselves as separate. The partnership agreement says that they can do work for the other LA’s in the partnership but statutory duties remain with the LA where you live. However the LA’s thought they had passed duties to the LA and direct you to the RAA for support, the RAA has gone no we only do that bit and you never break the cycle. The reason is it’s now going to be very expensive. Because when everyone asks for what they need the LA has to provide it if it’s an assessed need. They can’t down grade it, can’t send it to a panel. The plan has to be written and someone has to be accountable and it has to be reviewed annually. So in my case I have 2 DC who cannot be left in the same room together, a disabled wife due to a stroke and total chaos. Both children receive 1:1 specialist school EHCp’s the first taxi collapsed because they fought in it. So the LA laid on a minibus. When I pointed out that if they are doing that for the school run how am I supposed to cope driving in a normal car with a disabled wife and two children with a wheelchair and maintain family life DD attacks her mum. So conclusion to meet the requirements of the ASSA they need to provide a larger vehicle. Their own risk assessment damned them. Same with the PA SS wrote dad needs 2 people to help maintain the children. SS before today was panel quantum…. After today it is need LA must meet need. The 2002 and 2005 regulations were supposed to provide unqualified support we all know that never happened.

You are amazing. This is incredible. As I say, you have bloody blown the doors off adoption support (said in my best Michael Caine voice). I am one of the 50 families who worked with the BBC for six months on how adoptive parents are failed and parent-blamed and shamed. Would you be happy for me to pass on this information? My adopter friend, who initiated the BBC coverage, is now working on securing for funding for human rights lawyers to work with us.

EHCPWarrior · 03/02/2026 21:53

Of course if you want to DM me I can let you have my details. We are also currently on the Article 8 route.

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