Aaarrrgghhhh Christmas!!!!!

[gerbilgirl]

Anyone else wishing Christmas would hurry up and be here?

This is our third Christmas together and each year the struggle in the build up to it is so hard!!

Our 6 year old is very vocal about how she is feeling which is great and is really taking on board ways we are giving her to help, so although is finding the build up hard is managing it better this year.

Our 10 year old on the other hand is in complete regression mode and just wants to be in her room not engaging with anyone unless she is able to be in control of them.

Come Friday they will be fine and really enjoy the day and each year it gets a bit easier but just wish this bit wasn't so hard on them.

I know I won't be the only one feeling like this at the moment but how I wish it wasn't like this for them!!!

How do you all make it through?

@Jellycatspyjamas I am sorry but your latest post is ridiculous disingenuous nonsense and yet again more goal post moving. Read back through the posts, right back to the beginning of the thread, and try to be a bit more honest with yourself. My first offending post asked if the drinking posts were jokes, that was it. Look at your response to that.

As for swearing, it is allowed but I apologise if it offends. As for asking for posts to be deleted I am happy to let all your posts stand.

@Moominmammaatsea no idea what you are talking about in your last post, but you may want to pay some attention to your problems nearer home before trying to stir up trouble for others.

@calmandhappy

In answer to the OP- how was your Christmas with your adopted children?

[quote percypetulant]@calmandhappy

In answer to the OP- how was your Christmas with your adopted children?[/quote]
I wonder what christmas is like with imaginary children

Ah... I see. Humour is subjective. It's ok for me not to find you funny.

How was Christmas with your adopted children? (Unless I cross post with you finally sharing.)

I wonder what christmas is like with imaginary children

Yes, that is an interesting thing to wonder about...

Enjoying this thread with a very, very large glass (or three..) of wine. Happy Xmas all!

I truly hope that the posts here about alcohol were jokes. It would be really sad if anyone couldn't get through Christmas with young children without anaesthetising themselves! They were jokes, right?

Your first post was dripping with judgement - grown adults talking about drinking at Christmas must be a joke surely, comments about “anaesthetising” ourselves to cope with our children following one obviously lighthearted comment and one comment about a glass of wine while cooking. Your I truly hope that the posts here about alcohol were jokes. It would be really sad if anyone couldn't get through Christmas with young children without anaesthetising themselves! Your post reads like the only possible acceptable response would be a Pearl clutching “oh god of course I’m joking, I’ve not touched hard liquor since I had a sweet Sherry at my grandmas funeral”.

Alcohol isn’t my coping strategy, it’s part of a whole range of strategies, and I’m ok with that.

@percypetulant are you a troll? i just wondered as your posts indicate someone who would not be suitable to be an adopter.

How thankful I am that that assessment isn't yours to make.

Awww, that's lovely @moominmammaatsea

Mine was the kids chanting together into a recordable toy "WE ARE BEST FRIENDS!". (In the interests of normality, I can bet it was less than fifteen minutes until they argued! But it was a touching moment.)

We even managed nearly an hour of monopoly before a falling out over whether the little one said "rent" before or after the dice throw. (It was before. Middle just didn't want to pay.)

What did she buy @Moominmammaatsea?

My sons favourite present so far is his wobbel board. His pokemon skateboard is a close second, he let me have a go on it today and swiftly changed his mind and banned me from going near it.

That’s really lovely - it’s a joy to see them connecting in whatever way they can with others.

We had to explain to my 7 year old that something on his list wouldn’t be here for Christmas, but had been moved to his birthday list (birthday in January). His response was “it’s ok mum, I don’t even need it for my birthday - I have the best present ever because I’ve got my family”. And my 9 year old chose a gift for me for the first time ever and was almost more excited about me opening it than she was opening her own.

@SimonJT my son loves his wobble board too and so good for developing balance and core strength.

@percypetulant we’ve not braved monopoly yet - well done. Connect 4 has however gone down a storm with both kids.

@Jellycatspyjamas That's beautiful.

It is a joy seeing that sense of family develop, and pride to know that you've built it for them. I never understood pride in family names before adopting (my maiden name is double barreled, as a woman I was always aware I would be expected to change it- I don't agree with this now, of course!) But after adopting, and seeing the joy in being the "petulants" brings, I get it.

Awww, I'm feeling all mushy about my brood now, thank you! I might have a glass of something to celebrate.

I know more adoptees than I do adopters, and out of all the adoptees I know personally, a significant proportion suffered serious abuse at the hands of their adoptive parents. None of those parents went into adoption with the intention of being abusive, they just wanted to be normal parents, and to give a child a home, and they ended up abusive in every single case because they could not cope

If you ask the same adopters about the abuse now they don't deny it (and no, @percypetulant, they don't think it was all down to teenage angst) but they do blame it on how difficult their life was dealing with children with behavioural problems, and they blame the problems the children had entirely on the birth parents and say that there was nothing they could do about it. They became depressed, or they drank too much, or they flipped their lid a lot and got angry. And it wasn't their fault, and there was nothing they could have done, they say.They were wrong.

Some adopters here will not be able to handle conflict and stress in healthy ways, and they will have dc who have needs which are unmet. The rest of you supporting it is basically enabling it.

I apologise for giving as good as I got in this thread. I thought it might make the worst posters here realise what it is like to be on the receiving end of unkind words. It didn't work... so I give up and apologise for my part and will leave it there and go back to how I try to be, not rude and not gratuitously judgemental.

I know, it’s lovely to see them grow and develop despite some of their early experiences and taking pride in the little (big) things.

Funny how people who haven’t adopted are the experts isn’t it. Probably popped over from the anti-adoption movement.

My daughter and I have been making bath bombs this week - good fun and she loves a bath.

I’ve had to wrap the nougat bar in bubble wrap and newspaper and conceal it deep within my filing cabinet.

It’s when you then come across that bubble wrapped bar and think “how the hell did that get there”.