Aaarrrgghhhh Christmas!!!!!

[gerbilgirl]

Anyone else wishing Christmas would hurry up and be here?

This is our third Christmas together and each year the struggle in the build up to it is so hard!!

Our 6 year old is very vocal about how she is feeling which is great and is really taking on board ways we are giving her to help, so although is finding the build up hard is managing it better this year.

Our 10 year old on the other hand is in complete regression mode and just wants to be in her room not engaging with anyone unless she is able to be in control of them.

Come Friday they will be fine and really enjoy the day and each year it gets a bit easier but just wish this bit wasn't so hard on them.

I know I won't be the only one feeling like this at the moment but how I wish it wasn't like this for them!!!

How do you all make it through?

having damaged her most favourite cuddle you ever because she thought Santa had tricked her into thinking she might get the gift on her list (singular because she can’t ask for her needs to be met) and then realised it might not actually happen

I do understand what you mean here, and forgetting about the drink thing for a moment, I hope that your dd was able to enjoy getting the gift on the day, and that it gives her a tiny bit of belief that she can ask for her needs to be met in future

@calmandhappy
Are you a parent by adoption? If so, how was your Christmas?

If (and I mean if) that is what you are saying, then you need to get help.

And you think there's help available if every adopter who had a glass of something when the going got tough over Christmas?

Please, impart all your experienced adopter knowledge to show us all how to be as perfect as you!

While I'm waiting, I might have a wee Bailey's. Slainte!

*for, not if

@percypetulant

If (and I mean if) that is what you are saying, then you need to get help.

And you think there's help available if every adopter who had a glass of something when the going got tough over Christmas?

Please, impart all your experienced adopter knowledge to show us all how to be as perfect as you!

While I'm waiting, I might have a wee Bailey's. Slainte!

Hark at you, @percypetulant, I, meanwhile, have been exercising my superior adoptive parenting skills by quaffing a solitary sip of tap water each day of advent (there were no muddy puddles deep enough for me to be able to fill my drinking bottle) so sincere apologies for taking advantage of the luxury of running water.

To redeem myself, I have been foreswearing the delicious turkey roast and mammoth mound of sugary foods to only take a mouse-sized nibble of the stale bread roll I keep within the folds of my hair shirt to remind me of the human sacrifices I must make on a daily basis in order to be considered a worthy adopter in the eyes of the world.

I fully expect to be recognised for my commitment to my children with a New Years Honour/the Nobel Peace Prize/the Booker and the Champions’ League Trophy all rolled into one.

I’ve drank copious amounts of vodka and throughly enjoyed myself...kids have had a good time too (they didn’t drink the vodka though...I drank all of that, they really pushed the boat out with black currant and orange squash).

Ours was a great Christmas, they were on the roof leading up to it though (most hyper they’ve been). School didn’t get the memo about a low key Christmas and we had a full week at home before the big day. They did a smashing job at Christmas dinner though (first time they’ve been interested), and they were really good company.

*thoroughly...it’s not a predictive text error...I’m on the voddy again!

@Whatthechicken, none of us noticed, we’re all on the wine!

they really pushed the boat out with black currant and orange squash).

That’s a slippery slope if you don’t mind me saying. I knew kids who had a sip of black currant at Christmas, by Easter they were drinking coke and gasp Irn Bru - then moved onto the crack that is Red Bull. I’d be weaning them on to @Moominmammaatsea ice cold water and seeking post adoption support for the damage done by straying into Ribena territory.

Or you could just give them back I suppose, so someone —less drunk— more worthy can have them 🤷‍♀️

I gave my 16 year old Kopperberg with his Christmas dinner and a sip of my mulled wine 😱

Haha! I’m going to admit something here that I wouldn’t admit in real life (seeing as I’ve lost my inhibitions due to my pickled liver), we not only gave them squash, but on one day this holiday, we have forgotten to brush their teeth twice in a day and let them have chocolate straight after breakfast on another day! Standards have slipped in the chicken household and the kids SW would be so disappointed! My chickens haven’t faired much better - they’ve had chicken porridge daily and the dogs as high as a kite due to too many gravy bones....oh the shame.

Come down can be hard!

@Ted27, now I like to think of myself as open-minded and tolerant, but I’m simultaneously tutting & hoiking my obligatory MN judgy pants here. Honestly, before you know it, it’ll be an enforced mother and son stay at The Priory. 😱

@Whatthechicken, chocolate straight after breakfast????? Good grief! (It’s chocolate instead of breakfast at Christmas here). 🤫

@Moominmammaatsea haha! Thank you, you’ve made me feel a little better about my poor parenting choices! At least I serve up weetabix first!! A period of self reflection is required for us both I think!

I think we should all be ashamed of ourselves.

@calmandhappy is willing to babysit while we attend AA, I'm sure. She will never allow such goings on.

Well in the spirit of confession, my son refused to eat dinner, and I still let him have afters. M&S macaroni no less. I stuck with wine.

Macarons not macaroni 🙄

@Jellycatspyjamas, well, therein lies the crux of the issue. Tut-tut. Supermarket ready meals just don’t cut it on Planet Adoption; you do know that you should have been up at silly o’clock cranking your own home-made pasta sheets through your bespoke pasta machine? It’s no wonder your kid is going off the rails.

Oops! Too much wine! I read macaroni for macarons. I’m beginning to think @calmandhappy may actually have a point! 😂

@Jellycatspyjamas welcome to the club of sozzled!!

In all seriousness, if any prospective adopters are reading this, don’t be too alarmed...you will need a sense of humour (preferably black). We are expected to soak up so much trauma, and hold it, and keep it safe, keep it secure...until the time our kids are ready, prepared and have the appropriate coping mechanisms to understand it. We drip feed, we coach, we protect, we prepare...but we need an outlet too. Don’t be afraid to laugh, don’t be afraid to live.

[quote Moominmammaatsea]@Ted27, now I like to think of myself as open-minded and tolerant, but I’m simultaneously tutting & hoiking my obligatory MN judgy pants here. Honestly, before you know it, it’ll be an enforced mother and son stay at The Priory. 😱[/quote]
What I wouldn’t give for a nice relaxing couple of days at The Priory - lots of therapy, my meals cooked for me, restful nights...

Before adopting i was a nurse so had already developed the obligatory black humour. Sorry to say it's even worse now! 😈

I fully expect to be recognised for my commitment to my children with a New Years Honour/the Nobel Peace Prize/the Booker and the Champions’ League Trophy all rolled into one I doubt that will happen. Keep trying though, and you working a bit harder on your own weaknesses before ripping other people to shreds would be a good start.

now I like to think of myself as open-minded and tolerant nope, sorry - judging by your posts I'd say more along the obnoxious lines. You have a son, really?

And you think there's help available if every adopter who had a glass of something when the going got tough over Christmas? but percy haven't you always said you wanted to be treated just like all the "normal" parents? So maybe learn to suck it up and put the dc's needs first, like "normal" parents?

We are expected to soak up so much trauma, and hold it, and keep it safe, keep it secure...until the time our kids are ready, prepared and have the appropriate coping mechanisms to understand it. We drip feed, we coach, we protect, we prepare... goodness me you sound absolutely amazing. But then what you say is probably the alcohol you consumed talking.

but we need an outlet too and if that is at someone else's expense all the better.

I will come over to your dark side and we can all have a ball at each other's expense! Or maybe just stop ripping people to shreds on here just because they have dared to disagree with you.

I think someone needs to try a bit harder