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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Anyone else just starting?

90 replies

Karcheer · 09/12/2020 19:55

Hi

Dh and I had our initial conversation with the sw in august and they agreed that we could proceed to stage one.
We took a while to fill in the initial
Form as we decided to refurb a bit of our house. But I’ve posted them off today.
We’ve some medical issues which may mean we won’t be accepted but I’d love to find some others just starting out so we can compare notes :)

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claireb7rg · 10/12/2020 20:57

[quote HOkieCOkie]@claireb7rg you have to get your passport notarised and contact the authorities where you lived and fill out their version of a DVbs

I had to do the same when I returned from abroad and wanted to get often registered.[/quote]
I was travelling around, think about 6 months in Sydney and then up the coast to cairns.

Working holiday visa 😩 I couldn't tell you now where I stayed or what my address in Sydney was. Think I still have the tax number I got but not sure where it is

Fingerscrossed12 · 10/12/2020 21:01

@claireb7rg is it vital you get the Australian checks done or is there an alternative? Try not to worry x

claireb7rg · 11/12/2020 14:24

We've just been accepted onto stage 1 😁 😁 🍾 🍾

Fingerscrossed12 · 11/12/2020 17:38

@claireb7rg yay!!!!!!! 🥂🍫👏🏻 Great news, we are in our 2 day initial training on Monday & Tuesday so I’ll let you know what it’s like

sunshineandskyscrapers · 11/12/2020 19:54

@claireb7rg congratulations on being accepted onto stage 1.

Re the Australian check, the SW and/or agency do have some discretion over whether you need to do this. My SW asked me to do five different countries, one that I'd only spent a month in about fifteen years prior to my application. Her colleague later admitted to me that my SW had perhaps been overcautious and that a stay less than six months probably wouldn't warrant getting the check done. A friend of mine who had also lived in several different countries, one for about five years was not asked to do any overseas police checks because they were all more than ten years ago.

So I would first make double sure that it is required of you, and if your SW is quite sure that she wants it then just crack on and do it. From my experience, saying that I thought something was unnecessary or a big hassle if anything made my SW more certain that I should do it. I expressed concern that the one I'd only been to for a month would be unlikely to issue anything since they had almost nothing to go on, and she said that was fine as long as I still went through the process of applying. So I did and it came back very quickly to say they had nothing on me, which is all she needed to see.

All countries do this slightly differently, and some require more of you than others. One of mine needed fingerprints and a couple required me to present myself at the relevant embassy. Costs also varied greatly. I have had a look at the Australian one that I've linked to upthread and I have to say this is definitely one of the more straightforward ones. The form is short and although they ask for your addresses for the last ten years they don't ask what you did in Australia or where you stayed.

If it turns out you do need this check I would start on it sooner rather than later as you don't want this to be holding you up from progressing later. That said in spite of the delays I had in trying to sort out all the bits and pieces for overseas police checks the one that came back last was the UK DBS.

Karcheer · 17/12/2020 21:31

Hello - how are you all?
We've just received an email with some of the dates for stage 1. Workbook Workshop - 14th January 2021... that's soon isn't it!!

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ewright86 · 21/12/2020 22:06

I am a brand new member to mums net and I've joined specifically for adoption threads to see what information/support was out there from fellow potential adopters.

We have just begun stage 1; we had our informal meeting earlier this month and our ROI was submitted two days and ago and processed today.

We've had a potential date for our training course - roughly three weeks away which is really exciting.

Nervous about some aspects of the application process, as I can see some others are too. I just figure, take the process one step at a time and what will be will be. I'm sure our SWs and agencies will see us all for the amazing parents we are going to be! :-)

comehomemax · 21/12/2020 22:52

Good luck to all the new potential adopters starting out. The process itself can feel daunting but we had our first placed with us 10 months after starting the process, number 2 arrived three years later and 12 months after that number 3 landed. Its had its moments but I wouldn't change it and am so glad I pushed through.

Fingerscrossed12 · 21/12/2020 23:04

@ewright86 it’s really exciting - we just completed stage 1 training & really enjoyed it, nothing to so about & really informative. Currently our background checks are being done but there’s a backlog with dbs so this is taking a little while.

@comehomemax wow 10 months is so quick, so were you through all checks & training & panel really quickly? Sounds perfect x

comehomemax · 21/12/2020 23:14

It didn't feel quick some weeks! 10 - 12 months was about average when I was first being assessed (in 2014-ish). We were lucky that there were no major complications that came up to derail things and we had a good social worker who met deadlines - something that can be a real problem. DBS checks got a bit hairy - in fact for all 3 it was the thing that went to the wire each time for no reason that we ever figured out.

thistle52 · 22/12/2020 11:10

@claireb7rg

I'm 41 and partner 40 so wouldn't worry about your age.

I spent 9 months in Australia in 2003 and was told I need to get a certificate of good conduct from my time there. No idea how to get that 🥴

@claireb7rg my husband had to have one of these done. It was dead easy (I can't remember how we did it) and it even came back quicker than the UK DBS!

Good luck.

Karcheer · 22/12/2020 14:06

Argh! I've just had a call from the lady who does the DBS and Health and Safety checks, we are booked in for the DBS call on the 30th (fine), but she wants to do the Health & Safety call soon after - our house is currently upside down. We've no carpet upstairs, the builder ripped out the ensuite last week and i've a new utility room in boxes in the living room and DH and I are currently sleeping in the dining room!
We arent having a lot of work done, but the house looks like a bombs gone off!
I thought it would be a while till they did that check :/ arghhh

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Fingerscrossed12 · 22/12/2020 15:20

Hello, ah we’ve not had a H&S check but we had to give a virtual tour so might be similar. If so, I really wouldn’t worry it’s just to check you have a spare room etc, they’ll totally understand that the building works will be complete before a small one comes along :)

Karcheer · 30/12/2020 15:05

We had a call this morning so they could see us holding our ID for the DBS checks.
I also dropped in the medical forms to the GP.

The home visit is set for beginning of Feb, so hopefully my house is a bit more normal by then!

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Fingerscrossed12 · 01/01/2021 12:01

That’s great! Seems like it’s full steam ahead x

Karcheer · 01/01/2021 13:56

Has anyone started filling in their workbook? My head hurts!

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Fingerscrossed12 · 02/01/2021 14:41

@Karcheer hello, no we’ve not received a workbook, at which stage did you get this to fill out? X

claireb7rg · 02/01/2021 18:50

@Karcheer

Has anyone started filling in their workbook? My head hurts!
We've had a look at it but not started it yet as the cover of it says we need to fill in one each but they only sent us 1 copy 🙄 (to add they sent us 4 medical forms - 2 each). Will be ringing to clarify on monday
Karcheer · 02/01/2021 22:36

@claireb7rg we’ve spent a lot of time on it this weekend.
It’s actually not that bad, just very big.
We managed to get my parents involved in the family tree but which was nice.

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Karcheer · 03/01/2021 11:04

@Fingerscrossed12 we are in stage 1.

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Fingerscrossed12 · 03/01/2021 11:46

@Karcheer ah I think we might have had this, a big document pack of medical forms, ex partners, reference details, dbs forms etc? Yeah it took a while to complete!! ( is that the same thing? ) x

Karcheer · 03/01/2021 12:08

@Fingerscrossed12 it came with all of those. It’s 54 pages long, it asks about our history, where we went to school, houses we’ve lived in, deaths etc, it asks about how we met each other etc partners, our family trees, what our childhoods were like lots of different questions

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NikkieSmith · 06/01/2021 16:42

Hi Everyone, We’ve just started our journey after giving it some thought for almost a year. We had the initial call yesterday and are signed up to a webinar next Tuesday but I’m nervous about the process and how they strict things are.

My partner has children, both teens, with his ex who from day one of our relationship has been awful. Due to things she was saying and doing his eldest decided last year she didn’t like me anymore and wanted to stay with her mum because her dad had no time for her which is completely untrue.

So now we are at the stage we have to sit down with his children and explain we’re starting our journey before anything can move forward and I honestly have no idea how his eldest is going to react and I’m worried sick over it impacting our chances. Has anyone been in similar situations?

claireb7rg · 06/01/2021 18:35

@NikkieSmith

Hi Everyone, We’ve just started our journey after giving it some thought for almost a year. We had the initial call yesterday and are signed up to a webinar next Tuesday but I’m nervous about the process and how they strict things are.

My partner has children, both teens, with his ex who from day one of our relationship has been awful. Due to things she was saying and doing his eldest decided last year she didn’t like me anymore and wanted to stay with her mum because her dad had no time for her which is completely untrue.

So now we are at the stage we have to sit down with his children and explain we’re starting our journey before anything can move forward and I honestly have no idea how his eldest is going to react and I’m worried sick over it impacting our chances. Has anyone been in similar situations?

Is it the adoption UK zoom call? If so we'll be on it too
NikkieS · 06/01/2021 19:51

Yes at 6pm?