Anyone else just starting?

[Karcheer]

Hi

Dh and I had our initial conversation with the sw in august and they agreed that we could proceed to stage one.
We took a while to fill in the initial
Form as we decided to refurb a bit of our house. But I’ve posted them off today.
We’ve some medical issues which may mean we won’t be accepted but I’d love to find some others just starting out so we can compare notes :)

We had our initial visit tonight so are a little behind you 🤞👋

Hello! We are in stage 1 also, currently I’m having a panic about the ex partners check as I don’t think they’ll be complimentary on my partners side - just keeping the faith that the SW look at the whole picture.

I had a medical assessment today, so that bit is all done!

How are you finding it so far?

I'm considering adoption and I have for several years.

I'm worried that at 41 my DH 47 we would be considered too old.

I dont even know where to start if I'm honest.

Hello, we’ve had the virtual house assessment & completed all forms. I feel a bit anxious and we are only 2 week in :)

I had my medical exam today so we are the point of dbs checks, references etc - how exciting!

How are you finding it?

From what we learnt they don’t discriminate on age, we are both 40 & I honestly think you’ll be fine x age is just a number & all that

@nancybotwinbloom I wouldn’t worry about your age, they didn’t care about that (and we are older) the big issue for us was medical concerns.

Our concerns are past partner references, there’s a lot to worry about I’m realising. Trying hard to keep the faith though x

Also there’s lots of abbreviations on this site & I’m unsure of most like DH & DS & OS & MIL & LO etc haha you can tell I’m new to this - any ideas what they are?

xx

Dh dearest husband, ds dearest son, os?, mil mother in law, lo little one

Wow!!! Thank you, that’s super helpful & makes sense once written out x

I'm 41 and partner 40 so wouldn't worry about your age.

I spent 9 months in Australia in 2003 and was told I need to get a certificate of good conduct from my time there. No idea how to get that 🥴

@claireb7rg

I'm 41 and partner 40 so wouldn't worry about your age.

I spent 9 months in Australia in 2003 and was told I need to get a certificate of good conduct from my time there. No idea how to get that 🥴

Oh goodness, my work colleague is Australian, I can ask how you get one if you’d like?

Are you going with a local authority or an agency? X

We are going with a local
Authority.

All the dates of both our exs are very vague I can just about remember which year... I e never been one for remember anniversaries

We are going local authority too. We have our 2 day training starting on Monday.

I don’t think medical issues necessarily hold you back so I think you’ll be ok x

I'm not just starting. My son's been home nearly five years.

Just wanted to share this list of common Mumsnet abbreviations with @Fingerscrossed12 and anyone else who needs it.
www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms

But there are plenty of abbreviations that are used regularly on the adoption boards that aren't on the list, like FC foster carer, SW social worker, BP birth parents ... Sometimes it's obvious in the context but just ask if it's not clear.

Good luck all of you. Exciting times ahead.

That’s really kind! @sunshineandskyscrapers Thank you & how lovely that your son has been home for 5 years xx how did you find the whole stage 1 /stage 2 process?

Oooh great news @claireb7rg

@nancybotwinbloom
We adopted our first child (who was aged 8 months) aged 44 and 45 and our second baby at 46 and 47. We certainly weren’t the oldest on the training courses and our age was never questioned.

The children are now 3 and 4 and have quite a lot of difficulties (being assessed for autism, attachment disorder and ADHD). Our age works in our favour as we are far more chilled out than we were on our 20s and 30s, we can (just about) afford for me to go very part time and we devote just about every minute of our lives to the children (as our support network has disappeared) without feeling like we are missing out.

Good luck - don’t let your age deter you.

@fingerscrossed12
Difficult to sum up in a few words how the process went. I got on well with my SW and found her easy to talk to so that helped a lot. It was a busy time trying to get all the bits and pieces of paperwork in order, meetings, training and some volunteering, and trying to fit it all around working full time. All worth it though.

@claireb7rg
You can find information about criminal records checks here for Australia: www.gov.uk/government/publications/criminal-records-checks-for-overseas-applicants/countries-a-to-f-applying-for-a-criminal-records-check-for-someone-from-overseas#australia

[quote sunshineandskyscrapers]@claireb7rg
You can find information about criminal records checks here for Australia: www.gov.uk/government/publications/criminal-records-checks-for-overseas-applicants/countries-a-to-f-applying-for-a-criminal-records-check-for-someone-from-overseas#australia[/quote]
Thank you!

We're going local authority

@sunshineandskyscrapers thank you! Any advise is good advice :)

I’m wondering what ex partners are asked as I’ve not seen the forms, any ideas? X

@Fingerscrossed12
I didn't have to go through any ex partner checks thankfully. I was unecessarily worried about them approaching a previous employer though and expressed my concern before they did so that they could hear my side of things and were very understanding. I think they get that an ex is an ex for a reason and so they won't be expecting a glowing report - they can get that from your family and friends - but it would be remiss of them not to ask in case there are any serious red flags that the ex is aware of that would make you unsafe around children. I can't be sure but I think that's the main reason they talk to ex partners. I am sure it feels awkward for you but I think you have to just let it happen so that you can press on.

@sunshineandskyscrapers you are exactly right, we trust in the process & quite rightly it’s thorough. We were open from day 1 with our SW that it may not be glowing, I’m sure if the good outweigh the bad that’s ok!

I think it’s just a nerve wracking process but it’ll be SO worth it x

@claireb7rg you have to get your passport notarised and contact the authorities where you lived and fill out their version of a DVbs

I had to do the same when I returned from abroad and wanted to get often registered.