do people really think adoption is the hassle-free version of giving birth

[Kewcumber]

I was startled (and amused) to read on a thread "why not just adopt and save the hassle of going through childbirth so she can just get on with her life quicker"

Am I so surrounded by people who understand how hard adoption is that I have lost touch with the fact that some people might think it is the hassle-free option? Of course physically it isn't as tough and I don't have a biologically produced child to compare my experiences to, but if my adoption experience really is the hassle-free version of having children, God help those of you who give birth!!!

hi - 'my God, she has no clue what she's letting herself in for'. Thats true, but then it was true of me too and no doubt many adopters. Still don't regret a second.

Good luck with your information meeting.

I found this thread very interesting to read. Kewcumber you are a total inspiration. Can I just say from an adoptee's point of view: the comments that people make about how what wonderful people adopters can be very hard for adopted children to hear. As a child I was forever being told by random people how 'lucky' I was to be adopted by my 'wonderful' parents. 'Weren't they great to take you on' etc etc. My parents were wonderful and luckily my mother's response when she heard any of this was to say 'no, we are the lucky ones', but I can't describe how it feels to be aware that a significant proportion of the adults you know think of you basically as a charity case. Children are not stupid and when they overhear thoughtless remarks like this, they internalise the message that there must be something inferior about them if their parents are so wonderful just for adopting them.
Phew, sorry about the rant but there were a couple of posts on this thread that brought it all back.
You ARE wonderful though Kewcumber.

great post rosa!

Hear, hear Rosa and nice to hear an adoptees perspective - I have zero tolerance of anyone saying that DS is lucky. What would have been lucky is for him to grow up with his birth family in safety and prosperity. I am lucky that everyone else was so nervous of his extreme prematurity of lack of development that he was still in the orphanage at 11 months when I arrived.

Thankfully Rosa, anyone who spends any time with DS very quickly comes around to my point of view very quickly - to quote a mumsnetting friend when she met DS for the first time "you know we all been saying how lucky his is to be adopted by you, but now I've met him, I think you may be the lucky one".