So, national adoption week...

[MagicKeysToAsda]

I'm going to take the opportunity to ask: how is everyone doing?

I'll go first: DD is doing great, physically, academically and socially hugely ahead of the expectations for her when she came home 4 yrs ago. My current worries are about her being obviously vulnerable/ a target for bullies. Anyone who has good resilience tips for an emotionally fragile 7 year old, I'm all ears! I'm doing alright, just about managing the single person work vs parenting juggle, and some days even with enough energy to enjoy work... That's mainly due to losing 5 stone and taking up running

How about you? How's the DC, your self-care, and anything else you care to write about?

We're a year post adoption order and 18 months post placement. DD (2) is an absolute joy and goes from strength to strength.

We're going through the process for her little (biological) brother, who we expect to join us in the new year.

My dad died last month, which has been very hard on all of us. He and DD were very close and she keeps asking when she's going to see him again.

We are just over three years in with our wonderful, funny, anarchic, resilient, at times infuriating, currently obsessed with farting, DS age 6

He is doing well at school, maybe a little behind but within expected parameters. He is popular and known for being caring.

We are about to start theraplay as he can be utterly distraught, thinking he's useless and rubbish if he can't do something first time but other than that we have had few difficulties.

He talks freely about his birth parents and we discuss them with him. How this will escalate I don't know but we'll continue being honest with him.

Tbh he is the perfect for for us , everyone who meets him days so, and we are incredibly proud of him!!

We have had a lovely day today (very simple), we went to a toddler group we usually go to, children were lovely, they are definitely growing (in so many ways), and then we did some reading. And I think I am getting better at this (no nagging today, lots of distraction and cuddles). They are amazing kids...I am writing this down to remind myself when/if things get tough.

Five years in with DD1 - issues coming out of our ears - but she is just wonderful and we're improving in how we handle things.

A year in with DD2 - fewer physical issues than we'd been expecting...as for the rest...only time will tell.

We're a loving, happy (mostly) family, even if sometimes I feel at my wits end in how to support DD1 and protect DD2.

I agree with a previous poster though about normalising the absurb 😂.

I like the idea of normalising the absurd. Kind of sums up our family!

I’m 6 years in. Dd is doing bloody brilliantly all things considered. She’s had a tough time but I think we are coming out the other side (or maybe just getting ready for the next onslaught!) but she’s still wonderful, kind, crazy and lovely. She’s also at that wonderful age where they are old enough to have their opinions, thoughts, quirks and whatever but not yet too shy or weighed down by teenage angst to share them with you. She’s great fun to be around (most of the time anyway!) and I feel so lucky to be her mum.

On a less positive note there’s an awful lot going on with my close family at the moment and it’s going to be a really tough time for the foreseeable future. This is definitely one of those occasions when being a single parent sucks. However, I’m very fortunate to have ace friends who are rallying round to help and who are keeping DD feeling safe and happy whilst I’m busy looking after ailing relatives. I’m trying hard to stay positive and ‘glass half full’ about all the crap life can throw at you.

We’re plodding along here. Ds1(8) doing well at school, he has caught right up and is mainly a pleasure to be around. He’s been asking lots af questions about his birth family and his foster carers recently. I think he’s ready to know some details. Previously he didn’t want to talk about it. Dd1 (6) has been behaving much better, less anger, but still struggling with rudeness. Her teacher has suggested she may have adhd which does fit with her behaviour so we’ll be starting assessment after half term. Outside of school she’s her usual self, hilarious, loving and clever. Dd2 (4) has settled in well to school. She’s making lots of friends and is beginning to be able to write, a small miracle seeing as two month ago she couldn’t even hold a pen correctly. She charms everyone she meets and loves to get her own way, as do most 4 year olds. I’ve settled into a new three day week at work which is giving me the right balance of work/home life, even if I could do with a bit of extra money. All in all, we’re a happy little bunch.

Thanks @iggyflop, yes we had some very trying times - those first few months were very hard going. We’ve really settled in now and I’m getting used to what it means for me to be a mum. Nothing can prepare you for the change in sense of self.

So sorry to hear about your dad Rain.

We're 4 years in and all going well at the moment after a rocky summer, which generally leads to her reverting back to rejecting me, but each time we're getting more familiar with the cycle and brace ourselves that bit more for going back to basics and ramping up the theraplay games.

AD is now in year 1 and is full of beans and very excited about Halloween (sweets!!). She's doing well academically in school, although is struggling with friendships and getting some nurture support. But on the whole things are good.

Three and a half years post placement and two years ten months post adoption.
DS is in year one at school. Thriving academically and started to make some friends.
Behaviour is very challenging but he's the light of our lives; adored by all his family and our friends.