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Original poster

Newbies

999 replies

Italiangreyhound · 12/09/2012 01:36

Hi I am a newbie and only just started this journey, officially made the call last week.

Just interested how may other newbies are out there who are still in the early stages. I keep coming across people and recognising names. Anyone want to let on what stage they are at?

OP posts:
prumarth · 05/03/2014 20:25

Thanks for the congratulations everyone - I appreciate it so much xx

Meita · 10/03/2014 14:30

Hello, how is everyone?

We have now pretty much been signed off by our SW - she thinks any remaining questions can be addressed by e-mail and is aiming to get our PAR to us for review, by the end of the month.
However, panel is still nearly two whole months away, and with nothing left to do (for us; SW is certainly busy, writing it all up), it feels like a long wait. Oh well. Looking around the house, there are certainly a few things that could be done, it just feels slightly wrong to get everything ready for a new LO before we have even been approved.

CheeryGiraffe · 10/03/2014 14:40

Hello all,

That's fab news, Meita! Two months will fly by, I'm sure. Especially since the weather is getting nicer now.

We're all set for our panel now - our report is all signed and checked and we've had our second opinion meeting. We just need to keep ourselves calm for the next two weeks.

Italian and Inthebeginning - how are things going with you two? I've copied all the questions from your foster family thread, Italian. I do love a good list. Grin

CheeryGiraffe · 10/03/2014 14:41

Oops! I've only just seen, congratulations, Pru! Thanks Thanks

prumarth · 10/03/2014 17:16

Thanks cheerySmile

Choccyjules · 10/03/2014 17:22

Yay, Meita we had our last face to face mtg today too! 5 weeks to Panel...

Meita · 12/03/2014 09:30

Yay Choccy!
In a way it feels good, for now things are out of our hands, so no worrying to do and no more feeling 'I should be reading this or considering that'. We're now using the time to build a new shed ;)
On the other hand, it does seem like a long wait! Although, thinking about it... only a few weeks to end of term, then family will be visiting, then a few more weeks - I'm sure time will fly.

Inthebeginning · 12/03/2014 20:14

hi everyone,

sorry for silence of late, feel a little picked on both on and off mn this past week. So tried to keep myself to myself.
worked out today that I have approx 40days left at work. Makes it feel very real!
Exciting times meita and choccy not long now! Smile

Inthebeginning · 12/03/2014 20:16

sorry and you too cheery !

prumarth · 12/03/2014 21:06

Sorry you are not having a good week in real life or mn, beginning.
Please don't let it drive you away if you need the support, it's what we most of us!) are here for!
Sending you best wishes!
choccy and meita - I know the bit before panel can feel a bit vast after all the previous activity. But it will be here before you know it!

namechangesforthehardstuff · 12/03/2014 22:11

Have pm ed you inthebeginning Smile Just to say pecker up old chum and stuff Grin

MoJangled · 12/03/2014 22:37

Yay yay yay... We finally went on Day 3 APR today! Spectacularly delayed but it feels like a huge breakthrough. I'll leave a graceful 2 days before chasing for a SW allocation on Friday.

Sorry you're having a blue week Beginning

Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 12/03/2014 22:52

Mojangled great.

Inthebeginining will pm you.

OP posts:
Inthebeginning · 12/03/2014 23:24

thanks all
you've made me feel all warm and fuzzy like. I'm tired Grin

CheeryGiraffe · 13/03/2014 10:48

Oh, Inthebeginning, please don't feel down. Ignore the people who are making you feel picked on - they're really not worth the bother. I hope you're feeling better today. Smile

Good luck for your SW allocation, MoJangled!

Two weeks today...... Grin

Inthebeginning · 14/03/2014 19:41

Thanks cheery feeling much better thank you. Realised I do know what I'm talking about as I'm talking about my feelings about things! Grin Got our membership for adoption uk through today so going to have a look at that. Hope everyone is doing ok.

CheeryGiraffe · 14/03/2014 23:23

Shock So did we! It thudded through the letter box this morning, so I've been reading it all this evening. I definitely haven't ordered two books to add to my adoption books collection.... Oh, no.... Grin

I'm so pleased you're feeling better. Make sure you have a nice, relaxing weekend! Smile

Choccyjules · 18/03/2014 22:52

DH and I have just sent our SW the draft PAR back, after two evenings of reading, correcting and discussing. Less than 4 weeks to Panel!

Meita · 19/03/2014 09:11

Great job Choccy!
We're expecting our PAR by the end of the month, so only really another 10 days or so.
Did you find there was much to 'correct'?
On a side note, if you were to find any spelling mistakes/typos in the PAR, would you correct them? I am a bit of a stickler for spelling things correctly, and would worry that if we didn't correct them, we would make a bad impression at panel. However I do know that it is the SW's report, not ours, so actually it would be her making a bad impression, not us. And going through her report with a red pen might not make her feel terribly happy... Well I can just hope there aren't any mistakes (or I don't spot them), -> problem solved!

CheeryGiraffe · 19/03/2014 09:37

Meita - when we went through our PAR last month I didn't correct any spelling/grammar/punctuation mistakes - I just didn't feel comfortable correcting her work. We had about a dozen corrections/alterations that we did ask to be made (none of them major) and she seemed fairly happy with that.

It is awkward though - because you are in essence 'marking' their work, and whilst they say it's our report, it's not really, and so you have to walk a fine line between asking for changes, and just accepting that whilst you wouldn't have said X like that, the overall message is the same. We really enjoyed reading through our PAR - it was interesting to see how the SW had interpreted things we'd discussed and how she'd tied everything together. Good luck! Smile

I have a matching process question which probably doesn't deserve it's own thread, so I'll ask here..... Once approved and linked, does the child's SW visit you in your home (regardless of distance from them) or do you meet them at their office/our SW's office/other location? We've been having work done to the house, which is more or less finished, but there's been a balls up in ordering stuff for the bathroom which means it'll not be done until four weeks after the panel. It's extremely unlikely anything will happen between panel and then, but I am worried that if it does and the child's SW visits us at home, it won't make a very good impression if we have no bathroom and builders traipsing about! Confused

Choccyjules · 19/03/2014 13:06

Hi Meita , similar to Cheery we didn't feel we should correct grammar and spelling but fortunately there were only a couple of instances where we would have liked to. We did change spelling of referee/family names and corrected factual errors (though did let a few things slide if it was more or less what happened and gave a general impression).

We've also had sight of the comments from the Snr Manager, which focus on concurrency/fostering to adopt and post-adoption support. TBH she's really straightening out the LA's situation for our SW, who is new to the team.

We also learnt today from her comments that our LA isn't going to be doing concurrency (this is a change from what we were originally told) but we arr fine with that as with DD we weren't keen on that direction anyway.

Am going to make a new thread about a FTA question we came up with yesterday.

Original poster
Italiangreyhound · 19/03/2014 13:11

Meita despite my atrocious posts on mumsnet I am a bit of a pedant! I did not correct any spellings, except names/places if any, or any grammar unless it actually changed the meaning of what was being said.

I concentrated on the biggest area first and then if there were smaller items of less importance I mentioned them.

I know our social worker wanted to get it right but I also felt that grammar and spelling were not what was being judged on, I also felt out of respect for social worker not to pick her up on stuff which was not important!

Good luck.

OP posts:
Inthebeginning · 19/03/2014 18:39

Hi everyone, not long to go now choccy !
I corrected all spellings (but I did ask her first) I'd written most of the par myself though so it felt a bit more like "our" work iyswim.
We live a long way from our lo's la. (another "country" in effect) the s.wrkers still came to our house but they only saw living room and his (potential) room so I don't think they're bothered with house, as long as par says it's fine. It's more about you.

namechangesforthehardstuff · 19/03/2014 22:52

I think we've done everything now. Sw coming for the last time tomorrow and then with last two referees on Monday. And that's it then till panel in April. She even has a nice photo for our PAR.

Cannot bloody believe it Grin

Totally shitting myself now about a.being approved, b.not being approved. So that's ok then.

CheeryGiraffe · 19/03/2014 23:46

Whoop! Whoop! Well done, Name! Wine I bet it feels suddenly very real now?

I am shitting myself over exactly the same issues. We have ONE WEEK (and one sleep) TO GO.

Thanks, Choccy! I'll try to keep the SW dazzled so they don't notice the builders or lack of loo. It's extremely unlikely that we'll even be at that stage by then, but that's never stopped me stressing about things before. Grin