Sorry I can't post anymore on adoption

[Kewcumber]

I just can't. Its becoming too confrontational and I've tried to make clear that I am open and sympathetic to issues within the system. When new posters arrive with no back story after a thread has been linked to a national forum and I really want to shout and say "sorry but as far as I know you could be making that whole story up" then the time has come for me to take a step back as its hardly helpful if that person is genuinely struggling with a real issue.

These threads have started to suck more out of me than I get from them.

I will continue posting on the random chat thread if it stays as just that - random chat. And if I have a particular issue that I want to air then I will pm those of you I "know" and trust and hopefully that will do for me for a while.

Hope y'all have a nice Easter hols and will see you around on other parts of the board.

I totally agree. I am completely new to this thread (picked it up in the most active threads) but the general point that trolls should not be allowed to do this to the rest of the mnetters who provide such support and advice to others is so important.

Kew, I don't know you but I offer you my total support.

Stewie, good idea, we shouldn't allow trolls to succeed...

hester I agree with your post 100% I couldnt explain it as well as you did.

But its what I was thinking in an encredibly articulate way in my own head of course

Oh Kew, I am really sad that you are off xx

Just to reassure you PP - I'm not off (not really the type for a full on flounce, just think of this as a little frill) just steering clear of the adoption topics for a little while until I have something helpful to say that doesn't make me sound like a deranged harpy.

I have a tendancy to enjoy the sound of my own voice (typing?) and have to remind myself occasionally of the old saying "better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than speak out and remove all possible doubt". On Melvins particular topic I think the time has come for me to remain silent.

Maryz - that link you posted is truly scarey. I have reported thatguy to MN and have received a reply saying that unfortunately they can't stop people ranting about one particular topic and posting inaccurate information. They have said they will contact him and advise about the tone of his posts and will keep a watchful eye on him.

PersonallyI favour the totally ignore tactic and just carry on the discussion around him.

Do you know what, he's just not worth the effort of getting upset about. I'm fairly new here but I do use another adoption website and he's appeared there on the odd occasion. He does his best to upset people and wind them up and spouts the usual bullshit - he quite clearly doesn't know his arse from his elbow and doesn't have to live with the daily effects of a birth parent neglecting, abusing, emotionally ignoring a child. Having just spent 2 hours getting my attachment disordered little man off to sleep - I do know what a chaotic start does to a child.

He doesn't engage, he has no answer to any arguments - he just spouts a pile of shit.

Rise above it ladies ... he's a tit and just not worth your energy.

And if you think that Ian Josephs website is horrible just check out Fassit.

I am really sorry to hear this. I get angry and wound up by John Hemmings and his sock puppets even though I have not been through the emotional mill of adopting a child, so I cannot understand how awful it must be to try to respond to some of this stuff.

But I have kept posting on some threads, even though I know it is head against proverbial wall with these people because I worry that someone might be reading who does need to get help and is being persuaded that they must not communicate/co-operate with SS because they are all evil baby snatchers etc, etc.

I am utterly disgusted that NN did not get a reply from Nick Clegg when she wrote to complain about JH and I will now write to him. I will ask for an explanation as to a) how Nick Clegg is satisfied that JH is performing his duties as parliamentary MP when spending so much time as forced adoption spokeman supremo and b) if NC can't answer that question, why can't he, considering that my taxes pay for JH's MP salary.

I hope you will just have a break and come back when you feel ready. I am considering applying to adopt when my daughter is a little older and I would hate to think that I won't be able to benefit from the advice and knowledge of people on these threads because they have been ground down by these strange idiots.

How awful this man is making so many feel this way. Having just looked at his site I'm shocked by some of his statements. He advocates action only being taken after an incident, so reactive rather than proactive. That says it all to me, and he should not be listened to.

Are hugs acceptable on MN?

I've had never particularly heard of him or any campaign against enforced adoptions. I have a limited understanding of adoption (just by watching close friends go through the process of adopting from an enforced removal of children and to watch the delightful outcome ).

Ever since picking up on this thread I have had a dig around and read and I too am shocked at what this man is doing. What is his personal agenda? I can only imagine that he must have one.

Kew I loved your description of yourself as a deranged harpie!
You are absolutely not, and have given fabulous advice and sensible comments to me and others.
You know I was avoiding MN due to some really nasty anti SN posts (not here) so I can totally understand we all need to move away sometimes.
If you speak to KristinaM please tell her I am at RHS Chelsea on the Weds this year, in case she is around! x

Well life has a way of putting things into perspective doesn't it!

Spent yesterday afetrnoon and this morning at two differnt hosptials as DS has broken his thumb by shutting it in the car door (ouchy ouch ouch). At least he is now comfortably plastered up and it has given me something to distract from pointless and sad arguments on other threads here!

Will pm you about Chelsea...

I don't normally come on the adoption threads because they aren't all that relevant to me in general - but I clicked on this to see who was upset and I'm very sorry to see it's you, Kewc.

I don't understand why MNHQ are being backward about this - they jumped on that guy who was posting troll-y stuff on the relationships and mental health boards, basically blaming the woman for any abuse she was suffering - I'm pretty sure he was banned! If the stuff this guy is spouting is as poisonous and potentially damaging, then why wouldn't they ban him? :(

Perhaps he needs to be reported by more people? I know quite a few of us reported the relationships troll.

SGM - that is a strategy I have been using personally as well, refusing to engage with some of the confrontational and daft things that some people say (and I think probably the same one on the Feminist board that you are talking about) to stop myself getting utterly annoyed - but picking up on the points and talking round them. Does it work? Is CB getting the message? (If it's her you're thinking of)

And, FWIW, Adoptions is not an opt-in board - it's open to all on Active Convos, not like SN. Perhaps you should ask MNHQ to move it to an opt-in board, so that it's less available to the trolls.

lol at being on Christmas card terms with RachelMN!

kew I hope your ds is OK.
I have never had a pm so am ludicrously excited at the prospect of one! :)

Oh poor minikew. The digit-in-door accident is one that brings me out in a cold sweat just thinking about it. Hope he's much more comfortable now.

oh eek, don't know how I missed seeing that about your DS's thumb, Kewc! poor little soul, hope it's ok. I still remember a friend's little sister getting her finger shut in the door jamb once - so awful!
Have you drawn pretty pics on his plaster?

Sorry have been down at Ma's caravan getting some much needed real life! Which actually consisted of a pile of work cleaning the van out after the winter and keeping DS occupied when he can't swim or play on half the playground equipment.

His current favorite occupation is to fluetter his eyelashes at pretty teenage girls and nurse his plastered hand coyly whilst they exclaim " oooh what have you done" you're so brave".

As the otherguy doesn;t appear to be trawling all the adoptions threads but only a select few I'll stay on the ones that don't have him on and hope it all dies down. Can't beleive he's started a thread virtually identical to his previous one (yes I can) - but he isn't responsible for how I feel only I am. Rising above it will no doubt challenge my blood pressure but as I had it checked last week and it was perfect (for an old bird) I guess it can take the odd challenge.

Kew, dd keeps telling me she wants to look like a 'cool teenager'. Her previous ambition - to run an ice-cream factory and a seaweed farm - has now been replaced by wanting to be a rock star.

Today, a man leant out of his van to salute her and she simpered, "He's in love with me!"

I had hoped for just a little longer with my little dinosaur-volcano-and-fruitbat-crazy little girl before she turned into a Miley Cyrus wannabe. Still, at least she hasn't heard of Miley Cyrus yet...