Mum to a teen mum

[kateluko]

Anyone a mum to a teen mummy? My daughter who turned 15 last month had a baby 12 weeks ago.

I'm not a mum to a teen mum but I was a teen mum myself. Is there anything I could possibly help with from that point of view?

My maths is terrible, but does that mean someone impregnated her when she was 13?
How is she coping with the toll that took on her development and future?

My 18yo is a mum. There is a huge difference between 14 and 18 in terms of motherhood. How are you with this? I do a lot of the parenting and imagine you are the same.

Thank you, she is coping incredibly well and amazes me everyday, baby is beautiful and thriving. I am very involved but will be taking more of a step back as I return to work. My daughter is due to go back to school in January, this is her choice and feel it is essential for her wellbeing but I am struggling with getting any assistance with funding for childcare for baby, I can not afford to pay this myself. I wondered if anyone has any experience of this?

Have you called citizen advice bureau?

She can claim child benefit and also something called a best start grant which is about £769. Then, when she's 16, universal credit, even if she's still in school. Google CPAG financial help for young parents its got lots of information about the different entitlements now and as your DD and DGC get older.

God that’s awful - what a mess

Is the dad / dad’s family involved? Are social services involved because of her age? You sound like a lovely nan :)

Oh and check out the care to learn scheme on gov.uk, that's specifically for childcare funding for parents still in school.

How do she and the father propose supporting their child? Or the other grandparents? Someone has to step up surely? Being on benefits at that age is crazy!

helpful, considering baby is here.

op is there an option for a college that had some crèche facilities? is the Dad involved and depending on his age is he / his family helping?

I didn’t realise that - I’m quite shocked

That’s so helpful! I bet you’re lovely!

Sorry should everyone pretend it’s a great situation? It is the situation and they have to deal with it but it isn’t exactly optimal

Clearly the DD intends to support her baby by resuming her education so she can get a job when she's old enough. And clearly the OP is supporting her by feeding and housing them both. However budgets are finite, and if the OP can't afford the required childcare then that's exactly the sort of thing benefits are for. To ensure that the DD is as equipped as possible to raise her child independently.

https://www.gov.uk/care-to-learn/how-to-apply
this is the scheme op i think this is probably the route you need to ho down. Good luck to everyone

no one has to pretend it's great, but coming on literally to just tell op the situation is awful is pointless and frankly unkind
she's hardly expressing her delight in it is she? she's asking for advice. do you have any other than to tell them all how terrible their lives are?

She’s not asking you to pretend and she also didn’t ask for your snide comments.
What was she meant to do, drag her daughter to the abortion clinic ?

Yes not an ideal situation but the baby is here now.

Yes, I was pleasantly surprised too. Its always good to hear of public money being used in a proactive and sensible way. Ensuring young parents can continue their education is essential if they are to work and be independent in future.

me too, it's great isn't it? hopefully DD can get back into education and not let this define her entire life.

To be fair, the advice was asked for hours after the original post, which was not asking for advice.

If she is entitled to benefits then fine but I don’t think that counts as ‘independent’.

I just feel sad for them because it’s the waste of a young woman’s life.

Oh yeah - great, 🙄

Of course its not optimal but its also not the end off the world I had my daughter at 15 and the world didn't end, we didn't end up in a council house and living a life on benefits. I feel I actually became a better person because of her as I was wanting to work hard to improve her life.

Good for you.