Mum to a teen mum

[kateluko]

Anyone a mum to a teen mummy? My daughter who turned 15 last month had a baby 12 weeks ago.

The benefits now is so she is able to become independent in the future. No 15 year old is independent

Let’s hope that none of your children or anyone in your life or indeed yourself end up in anything other than ‘optimal’ life situations so you can uphold your moral righteousness @Anarchy99 😂

No, of course she isn't independent right now. She's 15 years old. The benefits she's entitled to will help her towards future independence. The childcare support can be the difference between having to leave school with no qualifications and continuing to get the sort of education she needs to be independent as an adult. You must surely see that?

Neither are a lot of things in life. Has your life always been 'optimal'?

you think that girls in this situation should be abandoned and not supported by the state so that they mend up uneducated and unemployed with a small child?

No doubt Anarchy was.

she isn't independent but she wouldn't be anyway, she's a school kid. Better to go back to school, have help with childcare, get a good education and a good job than her amom lock her out, end up NEET in a hostel with a baby.

What do you mean by this? Should the baby starve? Should the young mother not be supported to actually get qualifications and make a future for her and her baby? Do you expect the grandmother to just give up her life and do the care work because her child got pregnant?

Really a lot to unpick from this comment.

You must see that a fund like this makes financial sense for the government. The short-term cost of childcare would be dwarfed by the cost of the mum leaving school with no qualifications. That’s why they give us the pill free. It’s not to be nice.

I started this thread to look to see if there were others in a similar situation for mutual support, and others with experience of being a young mum.

My question regarding financial support re' childcare for baby is just the main issue I have going on at the moment as my daughters return to school date is nearing. My role as a mum is to look after her and protect her education to give her the best possible chance, and as a grandmother to ensure that all baby's needs are met, cared for in a stable and safe environment whilst my daughter goes to school and to ensure that just because she is born to a young mum she is not disadvantaged in any way.

I am not going to go into the ins and outs of the situation as it is not needed, but thank you to those that provided helpful comments and support. I was not looking for validation or judgement. Thank you

Some horrible comments on this thread. Whilst having a baby at 15 isn’t ideal, OP and her daughter are looking for advice and support so the daughter can complete her education and provide for her baby in the future - good on them both. Would posters prefer she drops out of school and lives on benefits for the rest of her life?

An ex colleague had a son at 16. It was hard at first but she had a supportive family and went on to a top university (later than 18 but still at a relatively young age) and then obtained a profession and appears to be doing amazingly in her chosen career. Far better than me who had a baby at the “right” age. It’s not always a disaster long term.

All about the women there. What about the men in this child's life?

I just feel sad for them because it’s the waste of a young woman’s life.

She’s had a baby, not died!

Whilst not ideal, thankfully she appears to have a very supportive mum and really wants to complete her education. With crucial support now, there’s every chance she and her baby will have a full, happy lives.

Not necessarily. It’s not ideal. I know someone who was a teen mum she is now highly successful business owner. Owns her own home , all on her own.

OP, l can’t offer you any advice, but pleased there have been some positive ideas here. I’m sorry ghat certain have been so negative; this is not the end of the world.

As a family you both sound as if you are on a positive footing and l hope your grandchild becomes a little treasure and a bundle of joy. ❤️Take care, both you and your daughter.

From what I have read online, your daughter should be eligible to claim child benefit for her baby. I also read (if you have a claim in place for your own child/ren already) that you're entitled, as her mum, to add a claim with UC for some support for your grandchild. I hope this helps. You seem like you're doing everything you can to support your child and grandchild which already makes you a fantastic grandmother :-) I never had any support at all as a teen Mum but I managed. My daughter is 21 now. She passed all of her exams at school including getting a distinction in health and social care/biology. She has been a carer in a private care for 3 years, caring for the elderly who needs assistance with living, some of which suffer with Alzheimer's. She's passed a few courses whilst working there too, including a meds course and a first aid course. She did this while pregnant with her own daughter and she worked right up until she was 34 weeks pregnant. Her baby is now 8 months old and my daughters maternity has just ended so she returns to work on Thursday. I'm very proud of her. Your daughter will do just fine with your support :-) Good luck to your daughter and hers and her baby's future.