Punch in the gut Realization.

[namechange62]

I was driving my very articulate and imaginative 3 year old DGS this afternoon and we were talking about cute babies.

And the conversation moved on to his future babies.
He is going to find a wife when he's a man like his daddy and give her a seed and she's going to grow their babies! He's going to have twinnies called (looking around outside for inspiration) Lighty and Benson (for beds where he got his new bed). It was beautiful to listen to..it really was.
And he chatted about being with her when the babies come out of her tummy and I can come to the hospital to visit them. (He has a baby brother and is remembering all this happening).

Well... I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach with the realization that I probably won't be alive when he becomes a father. I'm mid 60s now (I had my DD at 30 and she was 30 when she had him) and people are having babies much later so unless he has DC when he's a teenager or very early 20s I probably won't be here.

I got very emotional and actually started to cry. Not sobs just silent tears running down my face.
Luckily he just continued to chat and didn't notice.
It was an actual physical feeling.

I know I'm so very lucky to be a Grandma and be so involved with them. I savour every second of it.

And I'm going to do everything in my power to live as long as I can to see him become a father..

Aww OP, this is a sad and sweet post. I get it. I guess all you can do is enjoy the now and hope for the best. My gran is in her 80s and has soooo many great grandchildren 😅 I think including steps she has maybe 12-13 grandchildren and maybe 14(?) great grandchildren. But I have big age gaps, my oldest is 14 and when she met my youngest (nearly 1 now) she held her and said “it’s funny to think that I’ve seen your older three grow up and become proper little people…but i might never see that with this one” and oh my god 😭💔
Maybe adopt the approach of ‘as long as you’re remembered you’re never truly forgotten’ as it sounds like you’re a lovely, involved grandma and your DGS will have lots and lots of lovely memories of you to tell his babies all about one day ❤️

I hear you. I feel sad that my children will almost certainly lose parents younger than I did

But I try to take the attitude that "it is what it is"