Punch in the gut Realization.

[namechange62]

I was driving my very articulate and imaginative 3 year old DGS this afternoon and we were talking about cute babies.

And the conversation moved on to his future babies.
He is going to find a wife when he's a man like his daddy and give her a seed and she's going to grow their babies! He's going to have twinnies called (looking around outside for inspiration) Lighty and Benson (for beds where he got his new bed). It was beautiful to listen to..it really was.
And he chatted about being with her when the babies come out of her tummy and I can come to the hospital to visit them. (He has a baby brother and is remembering all this happening).

Well... I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach with the realization that I probably won't be alive when he becomes a father. I'm mid 60s now (I had my DD at 30 and she was 30 when she had him) and people are having babies much later so unless he has DC when he's a teenager or very early 20s I probably won't be here.

I got very emotional and actually started to cry. Not sobs just silent tears running down my face.
Luckily he just continued to chat and didn't notice.
It was an actual physical feeling.

I know I'm so very lucky to be a Grandma and be so involved with them. I savour every second of it.

And I'm going to do everything in my power to live as long as I can to see him become a father..

@namechange62
Awww im feeling you ❤️
Im 60 with a 2.5 yr old grandson and another on the way, I keep thinking I won't be around to see what they make of their lives, its a horribly sad feeling

Oh gosh, I was 41 when I had my second daughter and I’m the same, I hope, hope, hope I’ll see her have her children, and I feel so very sad that my 80-year old mum most likely won’t see either grandchild have children 🥲.

My dad lived to see his first Great grandson. (Only met him once and died soon after) And my mum who had Alzheimer's knew her DGD was pregnant with no2 .. She knew exactly who the baby was (the granson who this post is about) and got very excited when she saw him. But unfortunately couldn't remember his name..
But my parents were very young when they started their family. 10 yrs younger than me..

Oh my! I had my youngest at 43. I’m now 56 and still washing school uniforms & doing the school run.
I probably won’t see any grandchildren at all.

So I make every minute matter with my little one because I have an utter miracle in the flesh who is my child. Shouldn’t be here, still can’t believe it!

That is bittersweet for sure. How wonderful that you are here for this stage. One of my grandfathers died long before I was born and the other died before I was 5 so I don’t really remember him much sadly.

Oh I absolutely savour every single second that I spend with them both. And I know I am so incredibly lucky to be so involved with them. I've had both of them today and although I'm absolutely shattered (and have eyes like p**s holes in the snow from the tears) I love every second.

Although you can speculate the thing about life is that you never know what will/won't happen and part of the beauty is just relishing moments like your conversation with your grandson

If it brings any comfort at all OP my 2.5 year old DS was born a decade after my beloved Grandad died but we talk about him often, and he has a little soft toy (that he found in my drawer) that my Grandad had in the hospice with him, and is very attached to it.

He talks about Mummy’s Grandad, he knows he drove trains and trucks, he knows that part of his name is the same as Mummy’s Grandads name, he can identify him in pictures. You may not be around to see them, but it doesn’t mean they won’t know you as someone their parents loved x

You might, you never know. If he starts a family young you'd be in your 80s?

My grandma absolutely adored her great grand children, it brought her so much joy, until she died last year. She saw them reach ages 15 and 11.

But try not to dwell on it and enjoy what you have in the here and now.

Aww. It’s horrible isn’t it? My step DGDs are 7 and 2 and I’m 60 so there’s a chance I wont see their babies which is sad.

Hopefully I’ll see my bio GCs. My older son is gay so unlikely he’ll breed but my young son will probably have kids in the next 10 years. He always said (when he was about 7) that if he had a baby boy he’d call him Francis 😁

Yes everyone. We talk a lot about Great Grandparents who are no longer with us. He's very interested in families and his place in it. And I relish time spent with them (and hopefully more DGC in the future)
I suppose this post is about the sucker punch of realization that I might not be visiting him and his 'wife' when he becomes a daddy.
He'd set the scene so beautifully (I came on the bus..) that it was such a shock to think this.
I know I will get over it but my...it was so sad.

My grandma didn't expect to live to be a great grandma. I sorted that out for her 😆You never know.

Did you have kids young?!

I'm also an insomniac and been up since 4am so I probably need an early night..

I had children quite young, by choice. But one of things I was always glad of was that my DGM has the opportunity to know my children and they can experience the love and joy she gave me as a child.
I take videos often to show them when they are older, although my oldest is now of an age where she'll have her own real memories. You could always leave your own videos and mementos behind just incase OP.

Oh bless you, you sound like such a wonderful GP. Your GDC are so lucky to have such a doting, loving GP that even thinks these kind of thoughts!

It really resonated with me because my DCs grandparents aren't remotely interested in them. They have missed out on so much. You are not missing out as they are, what you are experiencing is impossible to buy, you cannot put any price on what you have with them, that's just priceless ❤️

Lighty and Benson

That is genuinely heart melting.

I had this recently when I realised that although I’m ‘only’ 42, I won’t be here when my 11yr old DD becomes an adult :’( I’ll never get to meet any potential grandchildren :’(

He's an absolute hoot! He's verbally so funny. My DD and I frequently look at each other wondering where he heard a particular phrase. And in the right context too.
Grandma..my aunties are dissimilar.
Oh why?
Well one has red hair and one has yellow hair.. said at just 3 .
And.. Why is your table so disorganised?
And he's a very tall boy. Wearing 6-7 yr clothes at 3 and a half.
I found myself using long words to him to see if he understands. Sort of jokingly really.
But have to catch myself in public as goodness I sound like such a pillock and a performance GP!

I had my youngest at 45 . My mum had died a few years before . DS was born on the anniversary of her death , which wasn’t his due date , so we often say she sent him. Of all my children he looks the most like her and very similar to my own brother at that age. We often talk about her as my older children remember her. I know she would have absolutely loved him .

What? Are you expecting to die at 50?

Agree. My DGC is the light of my life. And I do a LOT for them due to SEN. But I probably won't be around to see them as an adult and therefore whether all my work and input has helped.

My goal is to be around until they're 18. Get them through the bulk of their education.

You are entitied to feel how you feel but just try and count your blessings that you got to see you own children grow up and have their kids, some people don't get that.

Most people are in the same boat now people are having kids older.

Same. I wish I could have had DC younger but DH took a long time to come along!

My DM had me at 20 so was a young grandma. I had DS and DD at 34 and 37. If DD takes as long as me I will be in my 70s, unlike my mum who was in her 50s.

It's lovely that you have such a close relationship with your grandson but it seems very odd to be so upset that you probably won't be alive to see your great grandchildren.

That seems a very normal fact of life. My dd is in her early 20s. I hope that I'll still be around to get to know her children if she has any but it's never crossed my mind that one day, I might meet her grandchildren. I'm sure that I'll be long gone before that ever happens.