Punch in the gut Realization.

[namechange62]

I was driving my very articulate and imaginative 3 year old DGS this afternoon and we were talking about cute babies.

And the conversation moved on to his future babies.
He is going to find a wife when he's a man like his daddy and give her a seed and she's going to grow their babies! He's going to have twinnies called (looking around outside for inspiration) Lighty and Benson (for beds where he got his new bed). It was beautiful to listen to..it really was.
And he chatted about being with her when the babies come out of her tummy and I can come to the hospital to visit them. (He has a baby brother and is remembering all this happening).

Well... I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach with the realization that I probably won't be alive when he becomes a father. I'm mid 60s now (I had my DD at 30 and she was 30 when she had him) and people are having babies much later so unless he has DC when he's a teenager or very early 20s I probably won't be here.

I got very emotional and actually started to cry. Not sobs just silent tears running down my face.
Luckily he just continued to chat and didn't notice.
It was an actual physical feeling.

I know I'm so very lucky to be a Grandma and be so involved with them. I savour every second of it.

And I'm going to do everything in my power to live as long as I can to see him become a father..

I technically met two of my great grandmas, one died when I was around 1 so obviously I don’t remember her but the other died when I was about 10. My mum had me at 28, my grandma had mum at 22 and my great grandma must have been 26ish when she had my grandma. I have lovely memories of my great gran.
i had my youngest at 37. My grandad died when he was 4 and my dhs gran is still alive and ds (who is 11) has a lovely relationship with her.

How many generations would you expect to see though?

This is identical to me, I had DCs at that age and now have a precious GC (and more due) and I'm in my 70s
I just relish every minute in the company of GC

No children and therefore no grandchildren here. Try to think
about what you have instead of what you don't have OP.

These types of thoughts are so sad and I know my mum feels the same as I had children later. I feel sad that I won’t see as much of my child’s life as I could have if I’d have had her earlier. The only thing that makes me feel somewhat better about it is the idea that the love and moments we are creating now will in some way live in her memory forever, so even for the moments that I miss I will still be there, in a way.

Understand the thoughts and feelings - perhaps heightened by sleep issues and tiredness, thinking about mortality as we age and the strong feelings when with the lovely grand DC.

this seems a ‘count your blessings’ situation (not my usual approach!) One of your adult DCs lives near you, you have lovely, little grand DC, you spend a lot of time with them and help your family. That’s all wonderful.

I don’t understand the surprise/‘gut punch’ of it as it seems obvious. was quite an ‘emo’ kid and thought lots about mortality. My older relatives say these things hit differently as age increases, though.

That’s just made me cry. I’m 69 and have just spent a wonderful few days with my great nephew (4) and great niece (2) and been saying to my partner (73) that it will be great to see how they develop as they grow up. Life is precious isn’t it?

I hear you OP. I'm 65 with GCs age range 6 to 11. I cant see myself being here to see them get married and have their own babies.
It makes me feel very sad as I have a close relationship with my "girls" 🥰

To the posters who've told me to count my blessings .. I do.. daily. This isn't really about that if you read my posts.
My DGS was telling me about his future. He was describing the scene in lots of detail and so beautifully articulated. He was describing how I'd come on a bus and meet him outside the hospital to meet his babies (I'd taken him by bus and his daddy met us at the entrance to the hospital to take us to meet his new brother.)
Then that's when I was overcome by the feeling that I probably wouldn't be able to enact this scenario..
Thank you for the mother's and Grandmother's who get what I was trying to say.

I've tried to explain how the gut punch happened. Because he was describing an event that suddenly I realised I would never witness..

I think it's something to do with the innocence of your grandson as well - he can't imagine a world without you in it.

You could easily live well into your 90s?
Loads of people do.

But obviously what he said is really sweet. It doesn't mean he really will definitely have children. Whether that's due to choice or circumstance.

Just focus on him and all the lovely things you'll see him do in the many years to come.

My DM had me age nearly 36 and I had DD1 aged 29, so my mum was a GM at 65. Even so when I told her I was pregnant she said, laughing, "I'm too young to be a grandma!"

Gosh, I’m an older mother by choice, and I’m completely fine with knowing that if DS leaves having children till the age I did, I won’t know them long, if I’m even still alive. I wouldn’t swap the freedom of twenty years of untrammelled adulthood for knowing my grandchild.

I do understand but at least you experience grandchildren. I won’t be that lucky.

And he chatted about being with her when the babies come out of her tummy and I can come to the hospital to visit them.

Not if she becomes a Mumsnetter you can't 😁

You'll have to drop lasagne and shepherds pie on their doorstep, and meet the baby sometime after its 1st birthday if you're lucky 😉

Oh please do get a grip. I don’t want to sound mean but why not enjoy the now rather than fret about where you will or won’t be in 30 years time. You could be 35 with a serious illness wondering how to break it to your dc what the future will look like. Or like my dm, cruelly struck down with dementia in her 50s. Enjoy your lovely family/there is so much more to enjoy with your gs before he gets to be an adult.

I had my youngest at 40. Highly unlikely I will get to have a massive impact in any grandchildren’s live-or possibly I won’t even meet them. I am sad about that.

Same here and I feel very sad about it. My only child is severely disabled.

I mean come on. I don’t think I know anyone who met their great grandparents. Yeah it’s sad you won’t live forever but that is life. Anyway your grandson might not end up having any children so it’s a total hypothetical.

Don't ever feel you have to catch yourself! I wish more people were like you. You sound awesome! 🩷

I'm from a long line of late breeders, We've had 5 generations in the last 200 years. Lucky to make it to being grandparents - there have never been any great grandparents that we are aware of.

Thank you for the people who understand what I'm trying to say..

This. It would've been very unusual indeed for anyone of my generation to have known their great grandparents.