Do you think women cheat more than men?

[WhiteCompanyMagicNights]

Just having this debate with a male friend.

He thinks women cheat more. As he’s got most romantic interest and flirting from women already taken or married etc

Whereas, as a woman I think men cheat more. And often at horrific times like after a baby is born etc

Off the top of my head I personally have known 5 women to cheat, 4 of them cheating on their partner with more than one person and having affairs too, 1 of them did it once and they regretted it. I have known 6 men to cheat 4 of them cheating on their partner with multiple people, 1 of them with one person but it was an affair and 1 of them did it once and regretted it. Out of the 5 women, 2 of them had their partners find out about it. Out of the 6 men, 5 of them had their partners find out about it. I do think from personal experience men cheat slightly more often than women do but women are much less likely to be caught when they do.

Does being patronising to a stranger on the internet make you feel good?

I don't doubt anyone's personal experience but I find it weird that so many posters put so much faith in theirs, without considering that their personal experience may be limited because of who they are.

MN posters hear about the male cheats because they have direct relationship experience of them, or their female friends who've been cheated on will talk about it with them. I'd guess that they have far fewer male friends who rely on them for similar support, and unless they're bisexual they won't have been in a relationship with a woman who cheated on them.

I would guess that women who cheat are far more discreet about it than men who cheat owing to greater social penalties for cheating women.

(My personal experience is that I know very few cheats of either sex.)

Because I’ve been friends with my circle for 30 years, we discuss everything. I’ve been away on holiday with them, know them inside out and their behaviour.

You won’t get the answer to this. If women cheat more they are definitely clever about it and don’t get caught. Men make it obvious in their behaviour generally.

this is my lived experience, it’s certainly not rubbish. However, I presume your comment means it’s not your lived experience and you don’t agree - that’s all good. I’m a grown up and have just posted my truth.

My best friends, who I’ve known 30+ years and who know me inside out have no idea my relationship started as an affair for both of us. You really can’t state categorically that you’d know if one of them cheated.

This is probably at the crux of it.

Out of the relatively small number of women who want to cheat, I’d say 100% of them are successful in finding someone to cheat with.

Out of the vast number of men who TRY to cheat, a lot of them are probably unsuccessful.

But still lots more men cheat than women.

In my opinion.

Honestly where is he finding these ladies? Most women cannot be bothered particularly if they have children or old people to look after.

It doee not make be feel good or bad but I have no concerns about someone feeling patronized by a response I have made to them when they make such stupid comments

This is so far from my personal experience. I didn’t set out to cheat. I didn’t want to cheat. I was miserable in my relationship and should have ended it several years earlier. My emotional affair was a symptom of a dead marriage, the same as my affair partner (who I’m now in a long term, committed relationship with).

I don’t think we are particularly unusual.

I would say on balance men cheat more and a man who wants to cheat will do so multiple times whereas a women who cheats might have one relationship.There are definitely men who seek sex elsewhere when their partner is most vulnerable like with young children at home. I also think there are single women who think nothing of hitting on a married man, knowing it will be discrete and not caring one bit about the consequences cos it's not their problem. On the other hand there are many men who would never consider hitting on a married woman because they either fear the husband or feel it crosses a line morally for them.

there are many men who would never consider hitting on a married woman because they either fear the husband or feel it crosses a line morally for them.

I think men consider married women a much better option because they think then can have sex with married women without her wanting more commitment. They get to take a Ferrari for a spin but not pay the lease payments and the servicing. Also they think married women are more likely to keep the whole thing secret.

Fear of the husband is low because they don't plan to get caught and crossing a line morally won't even be a thought.

I think this is true. In my case, I never got as many propositions as the ones I got in the months after I mariied- from married men.

I always turned them down politely. And dome didn't like that AL ALL. One guy rang me and suggested I come around to his place as his wife was away and told me to 'bring a bottle and two glasses'. I said to him 'My phone is on speaker phone and my husband is sitting right here'.

So he slagged me off to all and sundry as a slut, told his wife I had come onto him and in the 20 years we have all lived in the same small village SHE slags me off as a slut to all and sundry.

That is a very naive view.

Your husband can corroborate your story. Does nobody listen to him?

I’d suggest it’s far closer than people think. MN is a ridiculously unreliable source for something like this. I know 2 couples that got divorced due to cheating, it’s a 50/50 split but I’d still say in reality it’s more likely to the man.

I used to work with a couple that got together after she pursued him knowing she was married. He cheated, which doesn’t justify it, bit still.

I think in marriages it’s more likely to be the man, but nowhere near as skewed a percentage as people on here say.

Yes we both say it loud and clear.

Classic example of where a woman's word is discounted and a man's isn't though.

I don't know... do people believe them over you?

One guy says you hit on him, you and your husband both heard him hit on you; do people believe him over the two of you?

His wife does.

I'm not surprised about that, sadly. She's got a lot of reason to. But do other people?

Agree. NHT's version is totally plausible and passes the sniff test. His version less so.

Honestly who
could be bothered? He’s judging women by his own standard 🙄. Plus sex is way riskier for us in every way physically and socially still.

I'd bet £50 on this being the case.

I think this is the nail on the head. My (general) take is that when there’s children, a father who is willing to cheat or have an affair will do it (generally) without thought of the consequences down the line. A mother (generally) will think of the upheaval on the children’s life and plan a way to leave without the chaos and with her pride intact.