How old would your children be before you left them for a day?

[yesiknowithasbeendonetodeath]

Mine are really young now so obviously not on the cards for a while.

I don’t want to wish their childhoods away or anything but I am wondering when I’ll be able to have a day out shopping or go to a museum or a day with friends without it costing so much in childcare as to make it pointless.

I am kind of thinking maybe 10/11?

Threads like these always remind me that there are always such extremes on the internet, that you need to discard the extreme views either side in asking for advice.
im only skimmed but I think we’ve had 16 (wtaf) and also 6 (wtaf). I think most responses though are quite sensibly around 13.

i think 16 is the most ridiculous of the two. (As the 6 was only a short while).

when dd was 15 and started working at an outside of school child care provider - one of the children she was being paid to look after was 14 and in her year at school. She was absolutely mortified.

Yes, I’ve tried to focus on the more balanced replies! And thank you.

Mine have built it up from about 30 mins alone whilst I popped out locally at 10, to a few hours alone by 11 but still wouldn’t be more than about 15 mins away from home. At about 13 they would stay a half day ish whilst I was a bit further afield, and now my 14 year old will stay home for a day whilst I’m at work 45 mins away, whilst my parents will come and look after the 11 year old if neither of us can wfh as he’s not comfortable being left for too long yet.

I don't think anyone has said 6 for a whole day!

Just for 10 mins to pop to a neighbour which I don't think is outrageous depending on context

I think she means on their own in the house with no adult supervision. Not just her being away from the house.

Our oldest is 12 turning 13 has had a few days over Summer and this October break where he has been on his own. Worked up from an afternoon after school for a few hours. He is very sensible and can contact me if needed. Perfectly capable of sorting out lunch for himself. We talked to him about it first and he was happy. It was only 3 days over the 6 weeks in the end and anymore might be different. Our 9 year old, 10 mins max, maybe an hour if they're in together.

Yes agreed. My neighbour is a child minder and she told me a lady brought her 11 year old son to stay with her during a secondary school holiday. She did it because she assumed some kind of sens. He did not have sens. Childminder told the mum that he is very capable and sensible and does not need a childminder! That was the last day he stayed at hers! Some people don’t know when to give their children more independence.

Yes, I assume that secondary school is deemed acceptable. If it wasn't, there would be far more holiday clubs for 11-16yo. Near us there are 0 of them. They all go to year 6. It's not like parents magically get more days annual leave when their kid gets to secondary school, so the only assumption I can make is most people leave their children alone during the holidays at that time.

Depends on their maturity really, but definetely no less than 13, prob more like 14/15

My parents used to leave 3 of us alone every single day of the school holidays from when my older sibling was about 8 😂 how times have changed….

Your either guilty of severe neglect and left your 4 month home alone or you haven’t understood the post 🤣

I still don't really get how it works for parents who say no way until 14 or 16 - I have a 13yo. The idea that I would get him a babysitter when I'm either working or just going out shopping for the day just sounds so utterly bizarre to me. He is perfectly capable of taking care of himself and I would also expect he does a reasonable amount of housework and dinner prep. But instead he should have a nanny? are those 13yo allowed to leave the house and go hang out with friends, or should nanny follow?

Are you serious, 10/11 is way too young. I would be thinking more like 15.

It depends on the child. There really is no legal age if you can believe it. But if something had happened you would be charged with neglect.

I remember distinctly there was a woman who left her 16yo ds and 9yo ds to go to V festival over a few nights. When she switched her phone on she saw hundreds of missed calls, many from neighbours. Anyway, the boys ordered a pizza, reheated it later on in the oven INSIDE the box, box caught fire, house burnt down. Boys were fine luckily.

There is a common misconception that - in law - children have to be variously 12 or 13 to be left alone for a day. This is absolutely not the case. It really depends on the maturity of the child, the support network around them (including you being contactable by them) and who else is in the house with them. I really wish people would stop quoting this as the law.

Mine was 11. We both work. She was in secondary school. There are no holiday clubs. There are no babysitters

In all honesty, I can only assume that some of it is women trying to justify their decision not to work or not to work many hours

Mine's nearly 11. A couple of months ago I had to leave to catch a train 10 minutes before his dad got back from the post office. He still talks about this event like it was some unhinged craziness and he was Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. I should probably leave him for longer so he gets used to it but he never wants us to!

Depends on the child, how far away you will be etc etc.

With my DA it was probably about 13 for a full day solo. We’ll see with the younger two.

Depends on the child but never before 12 I would say. Or 13. Mine were 13 and very responsible before id leave them while I nipped to the doctor's or something. A whole day they'd need to be well into teens. Remember they go to school so you could have your day out then.

Not being helpful and answering the age at which I'd have left them, but if it was for a museum trip I'd have definitely taken them with me!

I left mine on their own for a couple of hours from about 12, but didn’t leave them all day until they were 16.

I left mine on their own for a couple of hours from about 12, but didn’t leave them all day until they were 16.

The situation didn't really arise very often as my DM lived with us, but it really depends on the child and how they feel. We all went to a pub quiz (not far from home) and left DDs at home for like 3.5 hours in the evening for the first time I think when DD1 was perhaps 14 and DD2 11. In the day, for leaving them at home alone all day when we we went to work, maybe 13? Perhaps a bit younger. But as I say it didn't really arise so they were well old enough by the time it happened.

I think it depends on the child and also where you live/where you are planning to go and how far you are going to be, also who your neighbours are...many variables. I live in London but 1 hour from the centre, where most museums shops are,. My daughter will be 10 in a few months time and I don't see this happening soon, definitely it won't be 10 for us! More around 14 if it is for a prolongued period of time.

So what do you do during the school holidays? Assuming you work?