Do any parents use 4 weeks unpaid parental leave each year when returning to full time work?

[ThePoisedOpalBird]

I am potentially getting a full time job. I wont lie I am really struggling emotionally with this as I have only worked 2 days a week since ds1 was born but life is expensive and my partner is keen for me to earn more now my mat leave from ds2 is due to end so we can save to buy a house.

I have been looking at holiday allowance, bank holidays etc to see how to optimise my time with the kids.

Has anyone used a large amount of their unpaid parental leave to take extra time off each year?

I am thinking of using 4 weeks a year to boost my holiday total and increase the amount of time I get with the kids.

Does anyone else do this? Do your employers mind? I figured with holiday allowance of 5 weeks and 4 weeks of unpaid parental leave I would be almost doubling the time I get off with the kids which might help alleviate some of the sadness I feel about leaving them.

Employers don't 'offer' this. It is an entitlement from the government.

And it isn't sudden, you have to give at least a month's notice and they can move the dates you request by up to six months, but cannot refuse.

It's baffling how many managers have no idea about the entitlement of their teams.

You may not be allowed as its a maximum of 18 weeks in total per child ... so you'd run out after 5 years.

I’ve taken unpaid parental leave for 1-2 weeks a year for about the last 10 years. When I started with my employer they didn’t know about it and actually updated the policies later. This thread shows most people don’t know about it.

Athough you are allowed to take 4 weeks a year legally, I wouldn’t have dared ask for that and I think it would have been career suicide. 2 weeks was accepted without any problem

Yes, I have to mean my annual leave is less pressured/cover school holidays without some serious juggling. We have no family nearby to help out but I’m lucky that we can afford the financial hit. My team at work is large and a fair amount of people without kids who don’t want school holidays off.

It just gets approved, not one of my managers has ever tried to rearrange the dates/question the need for it.

Now he’s at secondary I think I’ll have much less need for it, but we want to do a couple of longer holidays so might take a week or two to cover that.

I don't think this is a very good idea, given that you haven't even started and that before you have been employed for 2 years, they can basically let you for no reason. No company is going to like this (even if they have to give it to you by law). I mean, if you took a week because one of your kids was really unwell or had surgery, I am sure that they could understand that better, but I definitely wouldn't go around saying I would be taking this to have more time off being new to a job.

Luckily not looking to build a career so I don't mind career suicide 🤣

@ThePoisedOpalBird my experience with this is employers are not keen at all. But I can only speak for my sector obviously (policy). And my husbands who would not be ok with it either (financial services).

Not true, they have to allow you to take it if you apply but can move the dates.

Scary to see so many dark ages attitudes still proliferating after all this time.

Shows you have to be really careful which employer you choose to work for as a parent 😵

Shows how we are still in the situation of being short of senior female leaders and people are having fewer/no kids.

Ironically, working parents tend to be among the most resilient and efficient colleagues I have.

I think its a risk I will have to take. The idea of only 5 weeks off a year with my kids whilst they are so young is depressing. If the leave is there to be used I want to take it.

I am clearly going to have to accept it wont be a popular move and accept my employer may not like me.

Don’t you have to have been working there for 12 months before you can request this in any case? I asked for it ages ago but had only been there 9 months so they refused??

The NHS (where I was working) struggles as it is and cannot increase staffing in case of a demand for parental leave! Posts are funded on the assumption people will take the leave they are entitled to - but not extra. For someone to take unpaid leave, there are forms that have to go through payroll - I am just being honest that it creates extra work even though Parental leave is something workers are entitled to now.

The problem is not them liking you (well it wouldn’t be for me anyway). The problem is if they try to edge you out of a job. I have seen it happen in my old work and I have heard many stories of the same.

edited to say: so if you’re prepared for that then that’s fine

It’s hard going op but well done on getting a 2nd interview! Honestly though , I actually found working harder once my kids were in school , there is a lot more days and holidays to cover , it simply isn’t easier at all. I’m not even in the uk (the holidays here in summer are way longer ) but ) weeks is still a long stretch of time to cover.

I’ve done my homework thanks!! My son is 18 next year and I’ve only been doing this for a couple of years. I’ve got more weeks available than I’ll use for my daughter.

Not anymore. Its now a day 1 right.

Also 4 weeks a year would’ve given me 9 years, not 5, working like this…

Take the leave, OP! We work for an awfully long time and early childhood is a relatively short part of life Work is just work.

Appreciate its more paperwork for payroll but parents are entitled to it so should be able to use it guilt free.

I took 6 weeks over the summer. But I have been at the company for 10 years and feel very confident that I couldn't be easily replaced.

I would be very careful starting somewhere new and using it unless for some kind of emergency. Many employers won't take well to it and could start lokking to mange you out.

My company has a good reputation for treating working parents well and a 80% female workforce but I know it wouldn't go down well if the request came from anyone with less than 2 years experience who had solidly proved their worth.

Would it genuinely not make more sense to do something in the middle?
If you are 20 hours now, go up to 28 or 30 hours ( as an example).
I would caution against going into a new workplace with an I don't care what anyone else thinks and I don't care if anyone likes me attitude. It's the wrong approach and won't serve you well.
After 12 weeks, you wont have had the opportunity to prove yourself and be viewed as a valuable team member.
I'd focus on developing good working relationships first and then discuss the unpaid parental leave.

I have been taking it past few years. With my employer must take it block one week at time it unpaid.
I have been using it for month of August when children older. When small they went to childcare ect but from 8/9+ fussy about who minding them wanting to do specific things so I take it in August apply early in year for it.

Have you planned what you will do when they are unwell? They have to stay off for two days if they have an upset tummy?

I have to accept thats a risk and my partner will have to accept its a risk if he wants me to work full time.