Do any parents use 4 weeks unpaid parental leave each year when returning to full time work?

[ThePoisedOpalBird]

I am potentially getting a full time job. I wont lie I am really struggling emotionally with this as I have only worked 2 days a week since ds1 was born but life is expensive and my partner is keen for me to earn more now my mat leave from ds2 is due to end so we can save to buy a house.

I have been looking at holiday allowance, bank holidays etc to see how to optimise my time with the kids.

Has anyone used a large amount of their unpaid parental leave to take extra time off each year?

I am thinking of using 4 weeks a year to boost my holiday total and increase the amount of time I get with the kids.

Does anyone else do this? Do your employers mind? I figured with holiday allowance of 5 weeks and 4 weeks of unpaid parental leave I would be almost doubling the time I get off with the kids which might help alleviate some of the sadness I feel about leaving them.

The only people I knew who used it, did so when their DC had surgery and were NWB for several weeks
Never heard of anyone just taking it

It can be used as single days if the child is disabled.

Emergency leave for dependants is likely what the other poster was referencing.

Also, it's not intended soley for the use of spending more time with your kids it's for a variety of things.

To be honest, I would much rather an employee requests or takes on a four day a week role than signs up to a full time position and then requests four additional weeks time off throughout the year. I’m a small business. Yes, you don’t get paid but I am then short staffed for four weeks. I would need to pay someone extra to come in to cover so actually I am worse off (as agency covers cost me more than what I would pay you).

I struggled to get a job after coming back from maternity leave and a few years off in my 30s. A very honest recruitment agent said women aged 30-40 are often placed at the bottom of the pile to be interviewed, regardless of how qualified, because of the “risk” of further pregnancies and potential need to have time off to look after children. I was (rightly) shocked but now I have my own business I can fully understand why some companies feel this way. I would add that we have very family friendly working policies that support women in particular though!

I would be really pissed off if a new employee requested it. It might be your legal right and I would have to comply, but you’ve just left me a month short of an employee. Big companies can cope with these sort of arrangements but it absolutely shafts small businesses.

I'd highly suggest saving some for when you might really need it as well.

Yeah I know it may cause resentment but that doesn't bother me. Time with my kids is my priority.

No my partner will not be using his unpaid parental leave just me.

Wherever I’ve worked the 4 weeks unpaid parental leave has always been for time off that you need if a child is sick, not to have additional time off. I don’t think your workplace will be any different. I don’t think you’ll be able to use the time off in the way that you’re suggesting.

I used the 4 weeks a year to add to my holiday allowance when my DC were at primary school and I thought they were a bit little to be in weeks and weeks of holiday clubs. My employer was very supportive - they actually prefer it to be used in larger chunks rather than a day here or there.

I thought about it as though I was working part time. So instead of working 4 days a week, I took off larger chunks of planned time and would “pay” myself money each month to cover the 4 weeks off over the summer (if that makes sense!)

It worked brilliantly for me and recommend it if you can make it work - took the holiday child care pressure off for a few years. Didn’t need it for long - maybe 3-4 years before I felt the DC were old enough to do more regular holiday clubs.

I work in professional services so my employer doesn’t really care when you work as long as you make your targets for billing. Summer is always quieter so I just made my targets up during the rest of the year.

I wouldn't take 4 weeks at once it would be split into weekly time off.

Employer is unfortunately set on full time 5 day week. And to be honest even if I did a 4 day week I would still want to use my parental leave.

@ThePoisedOpalBird I have known people do this.

Part of the issue is that as you want to spend time with your DC you will want it during school holidays. If other team members also want annual leave during school holidays, irrespective of whether they have DC in school, it could limit when you can take it.

Splitting it into weeks e.g. one week Christmas, Easter, Summer holidays and October break makes sense but your managers will need to balance your request with colleagues requests.

I would certainly wait until you are settled into the job before asking. You may find in December they ask for summer leave and that would be the time to raise it.

Also, requesting flexible working is now a day one right. That being said, it doesn't mean you're legally entitled to have your request granted.

Considering unpaid parental leave has to be used in 1 week blocks and requires advance notice I find that hard to believe unless you are psychic and know when kids are going to be ill.

I used it once when I only had my eldest child because my childminder was pregnant and took some time off but this was the once and only time.
In work for the nhs and we are quite flexible and there is also carers leave but I don’t think many employers would want everyone to be utilising this all the time.

Four individual weeks are even harder (and more expensive) to cover!!!!

I’ve never heard of this. It’s always been to cover when a parent has to care for a sick child. It’s never had to be taken in chunks of a week at a time, it’s for as and when it’s needed.

I want to use the extra time now before they hit school age so I wont need the school holidays thankfully.

You are refering to dependents leave which is fpr illness, emergencies etc. I am refering to unpaid parental leave which is different.

I appreciate that as a business owner it would be hard for you. But as an employee I shouldn't really feel guilty using something I am entitled to use legally?

As I said, the legal position is very different to the reality if your request for parental leave (bearing in mind that you might not be the only one requesting it) causes resentment amongst a small team if they are having to compensate for your absence.

Yes, you might have a legal right to the leave, but in a small team your absence places pressure on everyone else. How resilient are you?

It’s always been seen as time that you need to take in an emergency. Not planned leave. Like I said, I’ve never heard of anyone doing what you’re suggesting with unpaid parental leave. Happy to be proved wrong but this is a new one on me. I’ve been working for over 35 years in plenty of different places and have never heard of anyone taking chunks of unpaid parental leave. I have heard of plenty of people taking unpaid parental leave when an emergency arose.

I guess it depends how much holiday you get. At my work we can take 7 weeks (buying a week) so if I used parental leave as well I would be out of the office 11 weeks which is a big chunk of the year

Lots of companies aren't very forthcoming with their policies/government policies:
https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave

Why not ?

my partner is keen for me to earn more now my mat leave from ds2 is due to end so we can save to buy a house.

partner, not husband? You’re in a very vulnerable position.

I have been looking at holiday allowance, bank holidays etc to see how to optimise my time with the kids.

I am thinking of using 4 weeks a year to boost my holiday total and increase the amount of time I get with the kids.

How does your partner optimise his time with the kids? Will he be taking an equal amount of unpaid leave?

My kids are a bit older, but I have taken 3 weeks parental leave for the past few summers along with 2 weeks annual leave to give me 5 weeks off in the summer. And I plan to continue to do this as long as I can.

Since I started doing this a few years ago, more of our team have started to use their parental leave entitlements and it’s definitely becoming more accepted which is great.

If by how resilient am I you mean do I care if people like more or not? Then no. I care about time with my kids above anything else.