Do any parents use 4 weeks unpaid parental leave each year when returning to full time work?

[ThePoisedOpalBird]

I am potentially getting a full time job. I wont lie I am really struggling emotionally with this as I have only worked 2 days a week since ds1 was born but life is expensive and my partner is keen for me to earn more now my mat leave from ds2 is due to end so we can save to buy a house.

I have been looking at holiday allowance, bank holidays etc to see how to optimise my time with the kids.

Has anyone used a large amount of their unpaid parental leave to take extra time off each year?

I am thinking of using 4 weeks a year to boost my holiday total and increase the amount of time I get with the kids.

Does anyone else do this? Do your employers mind? I figured with holiday allowance of 5 weeks and 4 weeks of unpaid parental leave I would be almost doubling the time I get off with the kids which might help alleviate some of the sadness I feel about leaving them.

Employers have to give you the time off (or another date within 6 months) i have no issues with flexibility in when I have time off so I don't really need my collegues to want to help me.

I did it this summer - 5 weeks off before DD started school. My manager was extremely supportive and I didn’t log on once or check a single email. It was incredible and I have never once felt judged by anyone - probably because there’s been ELT members take parental leave so if they can do it any of us can!

What do you mean by good safety net e.g. parents?

Of course I do worry about financial security but not at the cost of time with my kids when they are young.

Where did I say I disagreed with unpaid leave for childcare ? I didn’t , you are assuming that. I have no problem with people taking the leave they are entitled to ( and have had several people on teams I have managed use it - no problem) but the “colleagues attitude doesn’t bother me “ is an issue.

It isn’t really about keeping your partner happy , if he wasn’t working as well I assume you wouldn’t be happy either as your income would be too low?
BTW I totally agree with you about parental leave , it’s your right and you should take as much as you can. I agree your children are only young once . I would be careful though to keep some for primary , you keep saying you’ll have a different job or be working less but realistically you might not . I do think though once you get used to extra money or your dp does it isn’t easy to go back ! My dh and I have used parental leave each with zero issues , honestly though , my dh is very senior in his job and he’s wanted to spend more time off with the dcs recently and I think we’d both prefer to work part-time tbh…. So I wouldn’t assume that he’d never want to , I’ve rarely met a parent (man or woman ) who wouldn’t jump at the chance to work less eventually!

Why ? Whatever leave people take is entirely their own business and the companies , no one else’s . Neither I or my husband have experienced any negativity or attitude from colleagues re PL and even if I did I genuinely wouldn’t care . Like I said if they are parents they can do the same.

Yeah he couldnt reduce his hours as we couldnt pay the bills.

My partner isn't really fussed about spending time with the DC more than he does now but who knows it could change as they get older.

I didn’t either. I think you’re doing the right thing. I've been stunned by the replies on here; I can’t work out whether it’s jealousy or something else, but people aren’t saying, "Go for it, your children are only young once !" You obviously enjoy them and enjoy being a mum, so take the leave you’re entitled to. Xx

I hope you get holiday approved in your probation period. We normally only allow pre-booked holidays or emergencies unless it's a period of more than 3 months.

Based on what you posted about your partner and your finances, pull up the big girl pants, do what the majority of working mums do and enjoy the time you get while working. Re-think your plans after 1 year of working.

When your oldest starts school you will find you need a lot of days for various events and the school holidays. Use your annual leave carefully and learn to be a part of a team so your colleagues will be willing to help out.

You need the next 2-3 years if you want to move to somewhere better paid.

I always pre-book holiday when I start a new job.

Yeah I will enjoy the time I get along with the parental leave it will give me 9 weeks plus Bank holidays.

I did consider using it at the end of my maternity leave but really needed to start earning again by then. I wouldn’t really use it now either as again I wouldn’t want to go for a month with no salary and it wouldn’t really work in terms of my workload/role, I get 8 weeks annual leave as it is and quite a bit of juggling has to be done for each of those weeks as my clinics have to be cancelled. I only work 2 days a week, have you run the figures on working full time in comparison as after paying for childcare, extra tax etc for us we wouldn’t be any better off

I think you are mistaking emergency dependents leave, with unpaid parental leave. They arent the same thing.

Heres a link to the official government website about unpaid parental leave, which parents have a statutory right to take:

https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave

It is NOT the same as common workplace policies allowing staff a handful of days of emergency unpaid leave for dependents.

I took it once for a specific purpose (three week block in a 0.6 role) and that was fine, but I think planning to take it every year in a new role could be a rapid route to being managed out. Local councils might be the sole exception.

Ironically, in early 2020 I was thinking of doing it again (looking ahead to a block of time in summer) but we all know what happened then!

Is this change essential? I too would have struggled with working FT at this age/stage.

My husband took four weeks of this to bolster his pitiful 2 weeks paternity leave so he could have six weeks off with our fourth.

I'm a sahm but will return to work when fourth is at school - I will absolutely be taking this to spend the school holidays with my kids and my husband will do the same. We are planning trips to Canada, European backpacking etc.

This thread is so depressing, it's like all anyone can think of is not pissing off their boss/ their colleagues etc - if everyone realised how short and precious life is I don't think there would be so many jobs worths! Such an attitude of 'well I had no time with my kids so you shouldn't either'.

Capitalism has done a number on so many people believing their jobs are so important. It is staggeringly depressing.

I’m too tired to tell or care if this is strange humour, or a troll.

@ThePoisedOpalBird I’m absolutely astounded by (most of) the replies you’ve had! Especially those saying you seem “entitled”, when erm, yes, that’s the point. You are legally entitled to it. If an employer can’t mitigate for it, with notice and flexibility on dates, they’re not a decent employer in the first place. If a colleague gets jealous that you can afford to take unpaid leave, that’s on them. Take the time you’re entitled to and enjoy it! Definitely don’t ask about it whilst still on probation, though, as this thread shows, many people do not judge kindly. Bizarre.

I don’t use 4 weeks every year but have used it for both my kids - to settle then into new schools , support through exams, go travelling, hang out in school holidays, when one DC needed surgery etc.

I’ve never suffered a detriment at work- but then I work for a decent employer who practice what they preach about work life balance and the importance of family life.

I’ve had a few comments from colleagues saying I’m lucky or that they’d like time off as well - so I remind them everyone has the legal right to have unpaid parental leave with a child - or if they don’t have kids, my employer lets everyone request unpaid leave anyway- so we can all take time off if we want. That usually shuts down any comments - they realise I’m not getting any preferential treatment!

Totally missing the point of your thread but I’d be curious as to why you didn’t save to buy a house first, buy the house and then have children?

Because I chose to have my kids now as it is what I wanted. I didn't want to be an older mum and wanted plenty of time to have the number of kids I wanted without feeling a time pressure.

Don't be that person, what a stupid question

None of your business. Millions of people rent and quite happily bring up a family.

She won’t need her colleagues to “help out”. I take PL and other leave and it has absolutely nothing to do with my colleagues and it doesn’t affect them . It’s all through my manager and hr.

Quite. Lots of people don't meet partners until they are older, or have good reason to think they may have difficulty conceiving so dont want to wait. And buying a house is very 🫰 these days, much more so than it used to be.

My work is very good with flexibility, time off paid for sick kids, sick pay etc but we wouldn't be able to give someone every summer off every year as only so many people can be off and we try to share it out. We'd allow it once but not multiple times.

This is correct as per the website but I have no idea how it would work in practice. Unless you were with the same employer for the whole period and they kept a track? But that would be unusual. As far as I know there’s no way for a new employer to know how many weeks you’ve taken previously.

To answer the question yes, I had 4 weeks off in summer hols unpaid. You are correct they can’t refuse it, only delay with good business reasons.

This is completely wrong. The parental leave is specifically for spending time with children and must be taken in blocks of a week or more.