Do any parents use 4 weeks unpaid parental leave each year when returning to full time work?

[ThePoisedOpalBird]

I am potentially getting a full time job. I wont lie I am really struggling emotionally with this as I have only worked 2 days a week since ds1 was born but life is expensive and my partner is keen for me to earn more now my mat leave from ds2 is due to end so we can save to buy a house.

I have been looking at holiday allowance, bank holidays etc to see how to optimise my time with the kids.

Has anyone used a large amount of their unpaid parental leave to take extra time off each year?

I am thinking of using 4 weeks a year to boost my holiday total and increase the amount of time I get with the kids.

Does anyone else do this? Do your employers mind? I figured with holiday allowance of 5 weeks and 4 weeks of unpaid parental leave I would be almost doubling the time I get off with the kids which might help alleviate some of the sadness I feel about leaving them.

My husband used it this year to take 2 weeks with our 2 year old, his manager had never heard of it but they were fine with him taking it (not that they could decline anyway).
I plan to use it to help with school holidays when the time comes too.

That's dependents leave. You are given time to put other arrangements in place.

Parental leave is a nice legal right, but incredibly frustrating for employers and colleagues.

Oh, you have fallen into that trap. FWIW, worth looking to change that. For your sake and your kids’ too.

How did you manage when his penis fell off? Surely everyone knows men can’t take time off to care for children.

Because people aren't understanding what the OP is talking about:

Unpaid parental leave: Entitlement - GOV.UK https://share.google/4QhkjbhbemLiJZMJt

You can take individual days if your employer agrees. I know it’s legal but it must be a pain in some cases.
https://share.google/oi3XEWHXjpsSfmIBn

He doesn't want to and we couldn't afford for him to. He has always worked full time since the kids were born so he is used to it.

I am used to being with the kids a heck of a lot so for me going full time is going to be very hard so I naturally want to have as much time off with them as possible.

Loads of people use it where I work now. Where i worked before nobody used it at all. I think its very much a culture thing (Although its a right obviously)

My “parenting cliches” bingo card is almost full. Keep going.

No he wont also be taking leave.

Hmm I always think the parent who hasn't been on maternity leave should be the one to pick up the slack to allow the primary parent to restablish themself in the work place. I am also concerned you are not married....

We couldnt afford for him to take unpaid time off and he doesn't want to anyway.

We can save his for when the kids are older and need cover for school holidays.

It isn't about picking up slack. I want to spend as much time as possible with my kids when getting a full time job. So it isn't picking up slack its me wanting time with kids.

Yes it's legal and while they can make it difficult to take they can't refuse it permanently . Be careful about requesting it before your probation is up though as they can let you go for any reason at that point.

I was lucky, public sector, two working mothers in senior team, they were very supportive. I was able to take a day a week for first couple of years. Then when the parental leave ran out, we had a shorter working year scheme, which I used to cover primary school summer holidays. My ex worked in same sector just a role that didn't support time off weekly but he did take blocks. If you can opt to have the money deducted over the whole year, you don't notice as much. I do have to build up my missing service for my pension, so retirement is pushed out by about two years. But I was an older mother, and now with college looming, I probably would stay another few years anyway.

That makes a difference - term time is less likely to cause issues particularly if you can be flexible.

In your position I would definitely ask or find the policy once I had settled into the job.

By resilient I mean how will you deal with the eye rolling each time you (not your partner) gets the call to collect a child from nursery?

How resilient are you when your colleagues also want extra time off and you're covering for them.

There must be a reason why you think the employer wants to recruit for a FT role rather than the 90% you're effectively prepared to give.

Why don't you ask at interview to gauge their response?

I wouldn't risk asking at interview as it would very likely affect me getting the job.

But no none of the stuff you said would bother me. Other peoples opinions of me don't bother me.

I used it twice when kids were pre school in a 4 week block each time.
After that I’ve used it on another couple of occasions but just 2 weeks in the year in one block. I work for a large public sector employer so they didn’t mind, however that is different from your colleagues. I was acutely aware I was covering my colleagues work for their 6 weeks holiday and they were covering mine for my 10 weeks leave!

I usually take 1-2 weeks a year, when both my kids were primary age it was cheaper than holiday clubs. And once my oldest started in high school it solved the problem of not wanting him home alone all day when he’d aged out if holiday clubs. I didn’t take more than that partly because it’s unpaid, and mostly so I could stretch it out to keep doing this until the kids are grown ( I didn’t take much before they were school age as childcare was much easier to find then).
Another thing to bear in mind is the mortgage company really scrutinised the week I took in the year before moving.

I’ve never used it so far. I asked if I could use it in January to accompany my daughter on an overseas visit with our church and I was told no, so I guess I’ll never ask again.

I did it when DD sat GCSE, we had severe mental health issues so supporting her with me at home was vital.

I would be careful, 4 weeks/8 weeks is a lot on top of your annual leave. You will not make yourself an easy person to work with. Your colleagues also may have children or partners who need to use school holiday time for annual leave.

Even a team of 8 doesn't mean anyone can cover each other easily and there may be restrictions how many can take time off at the same time.

I would sit down with your DH and start counting holiday allowance. You will have to make use of holiday clubs, there won't really be a way around it.
How flexible is his job? He is also entitled to PL, not just you.

When DD was in primary school we did 2 weeks Summer holiday together and often 1 week, that could be Easter, May or October.
February half-term was mainly holiday clubs, the rest was a mix of one parent off and holiday clubs.

I only was lucky that DH could always cover Christmas as it is basically impossible for me to take time off from mid-December onwards.

It's dependent on the job. There's no cover for staff on leave in my job unless it's maternity leave. There are max numbers of people granted leave at anytime so people are present if needed, but we are carrying our own caseload and work will only be picked up by someone else if it's an emergency. Someone on my team takes 2 week parental leave a year, I wouldn't have even noticed if she hadn't mentioned it.

Kids arent school age I am using this whilst they are nursery age not school age so no holidsys to cover.

My partners job has 0 flexibility.

Thank you for everyone's input. Looks like I have to accept if I get the job neither my employer or my collegues will like me much but that isn't an issue.