Do any parents use 4 weeks unpaid parental leave each year when returning to full time work?

[ThePoisedOpalBird]

I am potentially getting a full time job. I wont lie I am really struggling emotionally with this as I have only worked 2 days a week since ds1 was born but life is expensive and my partner is keen for me to earn more now my mat leave from ds2 is due to end so we can save to buy a house.

I have been looking at holiday allowance, bank holidays etc to see how to optimise my time with the kids.

Has anyone used a large amount of their unpaid parental leave to take extra time off each year?

I am thinking of using 4 weeks a year to boost my holiday total and increase the amount of time I get with the kids.

Does anyone else do this? Do your employers mind? I figured with holiday allowance of 5 weeks and 4 weeks of unpaid parental leave I would be almost doubling the time I get off with the kids which might help alleviate some of the sadness I feel about leaving them.

I’ve used 2 weeks unpaid parental leave in August to help cover summer holidays. In my mind I was using it for 2 extra weeks holiday (though unpaid). Mentioned it around May/June. Our office is very quiet in August anyway. I’ll probably do it again next year.

@ThePoisedOpalBird only read your replies and im going against the grain here but GO FOR IT ! Why not. I can see why people will be pissed off - if you were my colleague I would be pissed off but it’s not illegal and as you say you’re entitled to it. I’m sure most people aren’t aware or can’t afford it.

At the end of the day you work a minimum wage job and you want to spend more time with your kids. There’s no reason for others not to do the same (apart caring about their job and the impact on colleagues) which you’ve been clear isn’t an issue for you. So just do it. As another pp has said make sure you have a safety net. People are being made redundant left right and centre centre across all industries with costs increasing and AI anticipated to be utilised more. If you make yourself replaceable then you probably will be replaced but on the other hand youve been clear that you’re happy to be flexible and not use all 4 weeks at once so really if you play it well and make sure it’s not at a time that inconveniences the company or others it shouldn’t be an issue. Some people have more time off in sick leave than you’re suggesting !

If you don't get the job, look at Civil Service jobs as they are very family friendly. You can choose to work a compressed week, part time, term time only & very often you can get extra paid leave for emergencies, childcare etc. I worked part time term time only which meant that I had all school holidays off plus an extra week at Christmas & before the 6 week holidays so I could attend all school events, I still had the pro rata equivalent of 30 days annual leave & 10.5 days bank holidays plus caring days.

Here we go tax payers subsidising those that choose to breed and choose to take lots of unpaid time off!

I think what seems to be getting forgotten here is that sur wants to leave the man she has had to very small children too, if she wants to leave him she is going to have very hard, not get herself sacked and unpaid leave won't be affordable if she wants to leave her partner.

How long ago was this? I left the CS four years ago and very few of those contracts were being approved any more.

I worked with two people who were term time only and they had had it agreed many years ago. They were also at a very junior grade so with such a low FTE they were taking home very little money.

But then what are you going to do when they’re ill once they’re at school?

Unpaid parental leave is pre booked in week long blocks so not helpful for illness.

There are a number of reasons to take unpaid leave that don’t involve breeding (hot charming).

It’s also possible - regardless of parenthood - to eg salary sacrifice into a pension to take yourself down a tax bracket if you are only a bit over the top. In any event, ax taxation is progressive, the majority of the tax bill in such a situation would be at the basic rate.

But people who don't have kids don't get these luxuries! They get nothing! I had to resign from a job that wouldn't let me reduce my hours a little bit to help me cope with my fibromyalgia and I'm not stupid as to the reason why, it's because the managing directors niece joined our team a few months before and from day one she shortened her hours so she could start an hour later and take an hour off at 3pm to go and pick kids up - her Teams software would show her as barely online once she got her kids home - meanwhile I was already in the process of asking to finish at 3pm instead of 5pm because I was forced down the flexible working route and having meetings to fight my corner and beg for something I shouldn't have had to beg for when I had both Rheumatologist and occupational health reports backing me up! Princess mummy never had to go through any process! She got what she wanted as soon as she asked for it! What made it worse was they gave me my 3pm finish at the beginning of July so I thought fairness had prevailed, it was great and improved my life and health a lot, my workload was always done, there was no calls not getting answered as there was enough staff to man the phones yet come the end of the 6 weeks holidays they took my early finish off me! The reasons were laughable and illegal but they didn't care that it was illegal. I guess they wanted me back working til 5 so that princess mummy could have her hour off each afternoon again.

This is what builds resentment in workplaces when parents get everything but everyone else gets nothing!

If you can’t see that pushing all women into full time work when they are desperate to be with their babies is a problem, then I’m not sure I can help you.

All the things you have listed are down to individual marriages/ relationships. They certainly don’t all hold true in my marriage.

It’s strange that you think women have no agency over their own lives and are at the mercy of society’s expectations.

I'm a teacher (not in a school) and would like to take this for a week next June/july when my DC finishes exams so we can go away as a family. I wonder if many teachers ever take this? Can managers refuse or change the time to a time when you’re on school holidays anyway? I’ve never used it before

Oh don’t be ridiculous! What a hysterical reaction. You know what - I don’t take parental leave for my child but I do pay sufficient pension contributions to take me out of the higher tax bracket and keep my child benefit. So shoot me. I’m maximising my income and minimising my outcome as I’ve worked 30 plus years full time and I think I have no more than another five left in me.

Point is there are many ways to reduce your tax burden. Not working at all or reducing your hours are other legitimate routes. And I have a relative who is childless, single and chooses not to work full time simply because they don’t want to - surely that is ‘tax dodging’ too? Not pulling their weight?

and editing just to add… have you heard of carers leave? It’s not just ‘breeders’, it’s the offspring which I think is a pretty big group!

Choosing to work part time isn't tax dodging! Of you look at my other post I was forced to fight to try and reduce my hours because of fibromyalgia and I was screwed over in favour of people with kids! This is what I'm telling you! Life doesn't give you lots of options if you don't have kids! Did you even read what I've just been through before accusing me of being hysterical? I was put through absolute misery just because I was diagnosed with a chronic condition!

double post

I’m sorry that your work treated you badly because you were ill.

That’s not a consequence of other workplace rights, though. It sounds like it was a result of nepotism, which sucks. It is not a workplace right to leave at 3pm and not log back on even if you are being paid until 5pm just because yoj are a parent:

It isn't for when they are ill. Its used for spending more time with them.

You can’t resent someone for making a choice that, bar medical reasons, you yourself were free to make and chose not to.

A lot of referring to probation period on here, it doesn't actually mean anything, passing a probation period gives you no additional employment law rights.

Not all employers would be disagreeable to parental leave. If you are flexible, as you say you are, it can work in their favour of you are able to take it during a quieter period and save them money on your wages.

It's a right and you should be able to take it. I wouldn't look down on any of my colleagues for doing so.

Absolutely you should use it, if you can afford to. This is 100% what it is for - spending time with your kids while they are young. I wouldn't worry about colleagues either. They can do the same if they want and it isn't your responsibility to manage that.

My understanding is that the employer can ask
you to push it back to a time when there is less
of a business need for your work hours eg an accountant not taking it in tax season.

ETA that was to the PP who is a teacher, it didnt include the quote post!

Honestly OP reading your posts I think you have your head in the clouds about it quite a bit which many posters have pointed out.

You first of all need to get a ft position with a company which accepts flexibility. They can keep pushing you back within a 6 month period and then give you times you don't want.

I also think you underestimate how it's important to have reasonable working relationships with your colleagues to ensure that the time you spend working isn't miserable. Your attitude comes across as pretty self entitled. Personally I wouldn't want you as a work colleague and I'm thankful the team I work in works well as a team and we consider others.

I fully expect within 12 months time for you to be back stating your employer is unfair or your colleagues are mean etc etc etc.

Fibromyalgia has comorbid conditions that affect fertility- PMOS, endometriosis and uterine fibroids. It is not a choice to be unable to conceive. Flexible working for parents should not trump disabilities.

It appears, in the case of the PP, that nepotism was what did for her flexible working rather than the 'normal' application of parental working rights.

If "Princess Mummy" (as the PP describes her) came on MN saying that she had flexible working to get in late and leave early to do the school run, but that once she had done the school run, she didn't bother logging back in for the rest of her workday, and her colleagues were narked about it... well, "Princess Mummy" would get pretty short shrift on here for piss taking.

The issue here really is you don't want to go back to work full time. Have you discussed with your partner that you want to stay part time until the kids are older? Why is it up to him that you go back full time now? Your kids are young for a few years and as I can tell you don't want to work full time I'm not sure how your partner hasn't worked it out.
It is of course up to you, but slightly worrying you can't be honest with the father of your children. You are willing to work full-time somewhere where your colleagues and manager may resent you instead of saying to your partner while the kids are under school age I want to stay part time.
If you are determined to go back full time, what is your plan for when they start school? You will have used most of your PL by then so what's your plan for the 13 weeks of holiday? They will still be young then.

That’s why I excluded medical reasons.