Do any parents use 4 weeks unpaid parental leave each year when returning to full time work?

[ThePoisedOpalBird]

I am potentially getting a full time job. I wont lie I am really struggling emotionally with this as I have only worked 2 days a week since ds1 was born but life is expensive and my partner is keen for me to earn more now my mat leave from ds2 is due to end so we can save to buy a house.

I have been looking at holiday allowance, bank holidays etc to see how to optimise my time with the kids.

Has anyone used a large amount of their unpaid parental leave to take extra time off each year?

I am thinking of using 4 weeks a year to boost my holiday total and increase the amount of time I get with the kids.

Does anyone else do this? Do your employers mind? I figured with holiday allowance of 5 weeks and 4 weeks of unpaid parental leave I would be almost doubling the time I get off with the kids which might help alleviate some of the sadness I feel about leaving them.

@ThePoisedOpalBird, I always take ca 2 extra weeks per year. Occasionally have had more but usually just the two.

The way I make this work is by giving notice very far in advance and being flexible with dates. One point to note, while I fully understand the intent of wanting to take it all while they are little, it’s actually when they get a bit older that they sometimes need the respite (school is very tiring for them, they want to enjoy friends in the holidays which is hard to do if they are constantly on holiday clubs etc). I have actually foind it very useful and enjoyable to use as the kids get older. Mine are 13, 10 and 5.

No, you’re missing the point. Feminism is about equality of opportunity. For women to truly have the choice men have to step up and be equal parents and support women to climb the ladder, not pull it up behind them while wifey looks after the sproggs.

I went back full time from mat leave. My mother went back full time (I was 6 weeks old). My grandmother worked more than 40 hours a week with 3 under 8.

There’s a lot depends on the nature of the job. My employer (huge company) merrily grant it but we are on annualised targets so whilst your pay goes down, your deliverables do not. What’s not to like from their pov? I considered taking it at one point but decided against as it doesn’t reduce the workload as no one else does your job whilst you are not there. That said some people do take the double hit as it’s so hard to cover the school holidays without it however 4 weeks a year every year would be unprecedented.

Even without annualised targets, you may still slip behind on training or making progress on whatever systems it is you may be using and it becomes a grey area to determine whether you are ‘behind’ because you take an additional 4 weeks off or behind because you are incompetent. Passing probation is normally the start of appraisal processes not the end.

I do think though that it’s actually pretty sensible to ask here through and garner opinion. What else is Mumsnet for if not to take a straw poll of what is ‘normal’?

But you really are missing the point.

Nothing in my post was regarding childcare, needing to be off to care for my kids. It is all about wanting to spend more time with my kids.

It would be irrelevent if my partner was willing to take the time off because it is me wanting the time with them.

So there is no gender issue here.

Pretty sure you only read what you want on this thread. Plenty of men take PL 😬

I’ve been in the nhs for many years and also in education. Yes, I take it every year and I know loads of people who do. I take the full allocation and will do until they’re 18

I was replying to @RomeoRivers not the Op and busting the usual myth that women cant have careers and children
Hardly one size fits all !

Except that your children’s father is apparently unable to look after them, doesn’t want more time with them, and wants you to spend less time with them so you can buy a house together. (Will you walk away from this one too?)

My husband takes 2 weeks unpaid each year so we can go away for a good chunk of time

This isn’t about women generally. This is about OP, who does not want to climb the career ladder, who does want to spend more time with her DC.

Obviously, if OP wanted to progress with her career then, of course, her DP ought to take his fair share of childcare, housework and sick days; but that is not the case for this particular woman.

Feminism is not about us all making the same decision. It is not about us all wanting to climb the corporate ladder. It is not about all women seeing raising their children as secondary to earning money.

No one said they can’t.

Yes I’ve used it every year for several years with 2 employers. There have been no issues but the firms I’ve worked at have been fairly flexible anyway. Moved jobs at the beginning of this year and haven’t used it here as the new firm are quite needy. They can’t refuse but can make life difficult.

Yes it looks like you can takr it in blocks of weeks, a total of 18weeks from birth to 18yo, so i dont yhink its 4weeks a year in perpetuity.https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

Surely not many people can afford to lose this much money. It’s almost a month’s pay

If its the only income then they probably get more benefits to make up the difference

For some people, it may take them down a tax band or/or get them back to a salary level where they are eligible for full child benefit, so there can be advantages. You can also spread it across two pay months.

I'm sure many cant. But 1 week 4 times a year I will be able to afford thankfully.

For me when I was a lone parent it was cheaper than childcare. It could also spread it out, so rather than lose a week out of a pay packet, I would lose 2 days of pay over two months, rather than four in one month which made it a bit easier.

DW and I have been using it every year since DD was born. Usually 2 weeks but she took 4 to extend her mat leave. It comes at a financial cost but we figured they grow up so fast and you don't get this time again.

I think we're unusual and will no doubt be looked badly upon by the posters on here who think people should bend over backwards for their employer.

I use 2 or 3 weeks a year. My parental leave is used to cover our summer holiday and a week later in the 6 weeks hols and my annual leave gets spread around other holidays so it doesn't really get noticed. I think 4 weeks each year would be pushing it though.

It has to be taken in week blocks and I give a lot of notice.. At least 6 months. I work for a big non British multi national in the UK at a professional level but have never had issues taking it. Probably because it has to be granted at some point so why not allow me to take it when I want it assuming I am considerate about it.
I think if lots did it though it would begin to get unmanageable. Good luck. I have loved having the best of both worlds!

Yes, I fid this for years ir helped me a lot. . One of my children is autistic with learning disabilities, another had health issues/
operations and taking unpaid leave regularly ( I suppose the equivalent of a week per term at least) got me through those years and I didn’t have to give up my full-time job.

I did have to pretty please to my boss to get this established originslly which was demoralising, because I could only request the unpaid leave. It wasn’t guaranteed that I would get it - but it became an accepted routine after a couple of years and really helped destress me to know that I had that available to me on a regular basis on top of a/l. The cut in pay was nothing compared to the loss if I gave up work or went very part-time.
Go for it.

But even if you took 4 weeks in a single year, it’s still less than the equivalent of half a day off a week. Plenty of parents drop to 4 days or less for years without anyone batting an eyelid! Also as a PP suggests it might be enough of a drop to keep you in the 20% tax bracket or perhaps to retain child benefit, so not a total loss. It might even be enough to keep a higher earner under 100k so keep tax free childcare, so a massive win!

I took the last 4 weeks before DS started school so we saved on a month of nursery fees which we’d had to pay through all our previous family holidays to that point.

I usually use two weeks unpaid parental leave, one in the summer holidays and one in February half term. I can't afford to take more than 2 weeks but it does really help stretch the annual leave allowance.

If you can’t see the limitations created by all of the “choices” which are actually expectations of women but not men then I’m not sure I can help you.

Women: name changing on marriage. Going part time after children or becoming SAHP. Women do vast majority of childcare and domestics because they are “better at it”. Domestic load. Buying and sending gifts for both sides of the family. Working around childcare hours because Mr Big Bollocks’ job is just SO BIG.

Men: benefit from being a “family man” at work. Change nothing else. Climb ladder unfettered as don’t have to balance anything. Build healthy pension.