Is changing a dirty nappy in a café still considered unacceptable?

[Anon4688554]

I was having lunch killing time in an M&S cafe when a new mum with a 6mth old (baby was weaning on a fruit pouch) went to change her baby’s dirty nappy in the pram. I’m not blaming the baby for one minute as babies poo at the most inconvenient times! I understand that she was baffled on her own, messy baby nneeded outfit changing and had to redress the baby and then pack all her stuff away. The poor woman most likely sleep deprived and could have had PND so lots of reasons why she was stressed out as being out with a baby is stressful enough.

Is it the norm to change dirty nappies in front of others these days ? Or is this still lack of etiquette ? Personally I think it was unacceptable especially as the toilets are pretty much attached to this M&S cafe abd saw it was rather inconsiderate.

No, a nappy shouldn't be changed in a busy cafe, regardless if the baby was changed in his/her pram. The Mum should have taken her baby to the baby change area in the toilets. It's completely unhygienic to be changing a nappy in a cafe, where people are eating/drinking.

Disgusting and unacceptable.

At a cafe near us, the owner yelled at a mum changing the baby in the toilet (so her review says) and I was going to say you were unreasonable if she used the toilet, but not at a table.
Try a wedding, at the top table, and someone changes their baby next to you! Yes, the venue had toilets.

Very selfish, very lazy and totally gross. Staff should have told her in no uncertain terms that she had to move out of the cafe before continuing.

We don't eat meals in toilets, so definitely unacceptable. I despair on the lack of sense in how we share space.

Nope. Totally unacceptable. She's got the wherewithal to get herself and her baby to an M&S cafe, so she can certainly manage to walk a few more steps to the bathrooms.

My God, when I had my son, I wouldn't have dared do this in my wildest dreams. I actually used to let much-needed buses go by when he was in the pushchair as I didn't want to inconvenience anyone on the bus!

Bless her heart. This must be her first baby and she is overwhelmed. Perhaps if some kind person stepped in and said, “ Your baby is so precious and alert. But let’s find a more private place to change them so you can relax about bothering other people.” If the mum declines, well, you’ve done what you could and have at least given her something to think about. When my daughter was born, I had NO help. My parents were dead, my in-laws were much older and far away. I was the first among my friends to have a child. I could not have been more clueless or more afraid of failing. I needed guidance, encouragement, and support. Not judgement. Obviously, I don’t know what was going on with this mum. Just wanted to another way to look at things.

It’s disgusting and antisocial

Park is fine. I’m also nowhere near a germaphobe. I don’t care about germs. I don’t want to see or smell arses or shite when I’m eating in an enclosed space nor take the risk of getting poo on my sandwich. I also don’t care if it’s a ‘teeny precious baba’, shite is shite.

Personally I wouldn’t do it for the sake of other people sitting in the cafe. It’s not pleasant BUT I do understand the ‘grossness’ of baby changing tables in public spaces. But she could’ve just left and taken baby to the car instead which is what I do 99% of the time jf I’ve driven somewhere and have car access. We went on holiday recently and changing baby on the plane toilets was gross. I would have felt like it was cleaner on the plane seat but obviously wouldn’t dream of this for the sake of other people.

but she might not have been thinking straight - my baby touches everything on the baby changing areas and it makes me want to be sick so she probs felt the same way. But yes, it would’ve been better if she thought about other people

Of course it’s unacceptable

Nope, not acceptable. Perhaps she didn’t want to risk losing her table (if the cafe was busy) but nonetheless, that’s just bad manners and poor hygiene too. One of the reasons why I have a little hand sanitiser bottle clipped to my keys - because of people doing yucky things like this.

Not at all acceptable.

Of course it’s not ok. Absolutely no excuse. If the lavatories were occupied, she should’ve gone elsewhere. The staff should have spoken to the silly woman.

Exactly it’s not about being a germaphobe (although I may be that as well 😆) it’s the fact you could be eating a cake and enjoying the scent of coffee in a cafe then you get a strong whiff of poo in what is an enclosed space - and possibly catch sight of it too depending on where you’re sitting.

I feel people have a reasonable expectation that there’s not going to be shit on show in a cafe. Especially with the prices we pay for a coffee and cake nowadays. It’s off putting while you're trying to eat!

It just shows that a lot of the time the germaphobe name is thrown about as a way to silence people who are concerned about basic hygiene and consideration for others.

And imagine cutting off your family because they want their kids to wash their hands more frequently than you might?! I mean unless you live with them and they’re imposing it on you too - does it really have such an impact on your life if they’re washing their hands after they touch a railing??

That’s very weird @smythsbible

I’d say awful in M&S cafe as they usually have very good family facilities so it’s not that hard really. A small cafe with a make shift toilet, perhaps.

Ugh so grim.

Nobody wants to see a shitty nappy while they're eating and drinking, it's disgusting and unhygienic the child should be changed elsewhere

Utterly disgusting and none of the excuses given in this thread justify it. I dread to think how filthy some of the people in this thread are.

A woman once changed her baby right next to me (banquette style seating) in a very quiet cafe while I was having breakfast. I nicely said oh, there’s a baby changing facility in the toilet. She and her chavvy mate started yelling at me so I laid right into them. These people need to be challenged.

Not wanting someone to change a shitty nappy in a cafe doesn't make you a germaphobe ffs.

That's revolting. I get that the mum may have been struggling, but you just don't do that.

Good on you.

I’d probably ask the cafe staff/owners to sort it out. I feel if we’re paying a fiver for a coffee they can at least maintain and enforce a pleasant sanitary environment in the cafe.

Nope, still not acceptable. Even if there are no changing facilities I'd go do it in the car or something. But m&s has good baby changing rooms so there's no excuse.

All of that rambling about so-called germ freaks and you still didn't actually tell us whether you think it's OK what the woman in OP's post did.

Either way, though, you sound awful. I bet your SIL is relieved you've 'disowned' her, but to cut your brother off as well? Jeez.