So, pil told dh I had a man around the house when he was at work…..

[PowerRangerGoGo]

Was at home with toddler, call from pil they said who’s there with you?
i said it’s just me and dd

then he asks me again
again no reply just is two

fil replies
I can hear a man’s voice …..

i realise he’s probably talking about a you my dd is playing with in background
like a shop type toy

what would you make of that?

Jesus, what a load of incomprehensible old tripe.

Being the child of difficult and emotionally abusive parents is a really complex grief, just support him, be a co conspirator with him sharing the - "you'll never guess what your parents did/ said today" stories with him, it will validate the shit he has put up with all his life and get it off your chest too. It will also help him with time see that their behaviour is really not normal (it may be obvious from the outside but as kids we grow up knowing only our own 'normal'). Maybe one day the straw that breaks the camels back will cause him to go no contact, and they will be out of all your lives.

A man's voice in the background when on the phone can be anything from a courier/postman to the TV or radio. Anyone who can't see that is an idiot.

That's disgraceful. And very childish!

Doesn’t matter why, that’s not your problem. Your problem is that they are like that.

the fact that your husband reacted and then tried to catch you out is the worry rather than when he got home saying my batshit parents did this today.

My thoughts exactly!

"i realise he’s probably talking about a you my dd is playing with in background like a shop type toy what would you make of that?"

😕 "a you"? Presumably a toy - but it sounds like a man?

Have you got caller ID? Don't pick up if you see their number. And also, if in laws accused me of cheating on my husband I would let them have it with both barrels. Bloody cheek.

⛈☕

Realistically, are you really likely to have a man there when you're there with your toddler? And if you did it would probably be the gasman, or someone repairing something. I'd be round their house and have a sharp word with them.

Or the TV or radio.

They sound like busybody shit stirrers.

Yes I agree!

Stop taking their calls, don't be alone with them, keep your child away from them. Tell your DH you are not engaging with the drama and he needs to have your back. Don't justify anything.

Also, aren't you allowed male friends anyway? I have a few and they often visit. Hardly a crime.

Sounds like he's unhappy about the break ups in his home? And if his parents didn't have a decent marriage, do they think there's no such thing, so are blaming you, as if they don't believe decent people who are loyal to their spouse exist?

Dear god! The apple didn’t fall far from the tree with ex did it!

To be clear from his parents I mean! What a family of fools!

Ha, my grandma told my dad that my mum had a bloke around for a few days when their first was born. It was my uncle! They had never met each other and my grandma always liked to shit-stir.

Some people look for trouble/gossip. Just ignore and carry on ignoring.

If he asks you anything g similar again you need to tell him that you are not his daughter, it's nothing to do with him and to mind his own business!

They have so many weird views, like say dhs uncle, so his stepdads brother, works with alot of woman as he works in a nhs hospital, they were slagging him off for going on his works Xmas do, because loads of women would be there and they they thought that should be a reason for him not to go.....
Honestly it's so bonkers things they come out with, barely scraps the surface, one of the worse things I've heard them say is the jimmy Saville victims shouldn't have been abke to come forward so many years after the events......
And why didn't he victims do to the police at the time etc(when the victims did but noting happened)
Women shouldn't be allowed maternity leave as its not fair on the companies ...
Britain first and racist stuff galore

What I can't really get my head round though, is dh says he wants as little do with them as possible, yet he's doesn't want to fully remove the, somi suppose it makes me wonder does he like them more than he says.
He's also an only child so he hardly has any family

I would tell them that if I had a rugby team round to visit, it's none of their business and they can wind their necks in. They would amuse me more than annoy and I would be tempted to play them a bit, but that's just me. 😀

There wasn't an accusation, he just asked who was there didn't he?

Yes I gave thought about that afterwards, actually wind then up, ohh that just my friend you can hear we are having a right jolly old time, while poor old dh us slaving away......

But they are so batshit crazy I don't think that would ever get dropped and literally they are unstable do could react and behaved unhinged

It was more the way he asked who was there, amd I said just me and dd, then he replied ohh I just heard a man's voice
So like he didn't accept my first answer