How do you feel your life is going ?

[WhatTheCatHeard]

Just like in terms of your expectations and what life's thrown at you etc

Milne going OK so far, been harder then I thought it would be, bit living a better life than I ever expected growing up

I'm enjoying life in my 50's. I didn't particularly enjoyed my late 20's and my 40's were hard slog in the trenches bringing up the tween and teenagers. Loved my 30's. But this is the best so far. Kids are adults, able to go part time. No longer give a stuff about my imperfections. Life much more settled and can go back to just being DH and me on holidays! Don't mind being older. Glad to be Gen X.

have you heard about the concept that happiness goes in a u shape as by 50 your back on the up because so much pressure drops

Out of intrest tho ? Why you happy it's holidasy with just you and dh now? Don't you miss the kids going with you?

I'm probably the happiest I've been in late 50s. Nothing special but I have a home in a nice safe area. No longer work, which really helps. DH and I get on really well together, and I know he'd do anything for me. I have hobbies I really enjoy. A daughter I'm really proud of. The downside is my Mum isn't the easiest person and fills me with dread, but ...

OP, you raised the question of whether another poster misses their children going on holiday with them. Your children get to a certain point and are living their own lives, going away with their own friends, partner or travelling the world. While that's happening you move on, just going away on your own or with your other half, you can do exactly what you both want and when.

I'm late 30's currently in a stage where I'm not aiming for the 'next thing' so I'm relatively content with where I am now (nice house in a safe area, good job, comfortable financially, married, two kids). But there's negatives too, things aren't great with DH and I'm stuck deciding if that's a long term problem or temporary. But I'm grateful - life could be a lot harder.

It was going amazing on the whole, wonderful husband, 2 genuinely lovely children, a career to be proud of, hobbies, travelling, a home I love, financial security.

Then 2 weeks ago I found a lump, at 38. So I’ll have to come back to you.

My life is on hold. Was loving my job. Early this year DH retired and he was loving all the free time. Kids all independent and happy in their own lives. Diagnosed with breast cancer in the spring. Chemo all finished now but my stomach is all over the shop so surgery has been postponed. Just want him to cut it out of me.

But what I'll be like afterwards, who knows. It's going to leave it's mark on me, even when I'm through all the treatment.

I would take them but they simply dont want to go. They have their own lives. 2 still live at home. I have gone away on weekends and trips abroad with them individually and so has DH but when they were take teenagers they didnt get on it spoilt the holidays. They get on better now. Hadn't heard of the u shape. Mines a bit wobbly with the late 20's drop in happiness and 30's being so good.

My life is not my own. Have one DD at home post grad, she’s wfh.
dd2 at home commuting for final year.
my DM is slowly dying in another country.
likewise DMIL two hours away from us.
so my life consists of flitting between two countries trying to be everything to all people.
except myself.
loving life!!!

There's two ways of looking at it for me.

One- absolutely terrible, I'm on minimum wage despite having a decent degree, live in a council flat with a daughter who's father has never seen her and never will, health problems, PTSD, not as many teeth as I would like.

Two- bloody marvellous, I used to be a homeless addict after being trafficked and almost killed. I used to dream about a life like the one I've got now.

I like to look at it via Two.

Good.

I consider that have had such good luck in life though.

Ive put the graft in, I’ve had incredible good fortune and now, yes, life is good.

Ive also experienced fuck awful times, that by rights, I should not have crawled out of the trenches of.

Mid 50’s, calmness, good financial choices, wise actions and halting any crumb of bollocks before it steps foot near me equates to what I now have.

@EmailsaysOOO

Me too. Diagnosed in Feb. No surgical option so I'll be on medication the rest of my life. I've lost my job so scraping by on benefits and a tiny pension. Im 61 and really needed 5 more years in work to get some work done on my house and give me a reasonable retirement.
I've no idea what the future holds.
On the plus side I have amazing friends, my son is doing well but is only 22. I want to be around for him for at least 10 years but don't know if I'll get them

@Ted27 oh gosh, sorry to see what you're going through too. It's rubbish isn't it ? I think / hope my job will be ok . can't imagine being fully invested in it again though. It gives you a completely different perspective on everything, doesn't it ?

I hope the meds aren't giving you any really awful side effects. Your son must be proud of you. What you're going through and somehow managing ( good days and bad days of course). Sending you cyber hugs XX

For me it's a funny one. I don't think I ever had expectations of how my life would be? I grew up in an abusive household, trying to make it through day by day then it felt like one day at 17 Id moved out of home and was all by myself and was still just trying to make it through day by day but for different reasons.

My life now is OK though, a good relationship although right now its in a bit of dip, children are almost adults. I've finally come to realise that I'm not an awful person like my childhood made me believe, I've discovered hobbies that I love and that fill me with joy, life is kind of boring but stable but I appreciate the stability.

I'm past the midpoint of my life, statistically, although it can't be known what the future holds, obviously.
I'm reevaluating many things. I've spent the last couple of weekends making resources for my class as we have new expectations and processes which we need to put in place. I've barely seen my own DC, just waved them off with their dad to enjoy the sunshine without me. This is my life most of the time as a primary school teacher in England, so today I calculated precisely how much my 'bottom line' income is, and have decided to start job hunting, looking for work with better hours and, if necessary, a pay cut. It feels liberating, and as if my life could finally be 'going' somewhere good! I've wasted so much of my own life, 'going above and beyond' and 'doing it for the children'.

I'm 47 and it's going fairly well, except there are some red flags for disability issues (for one of my dcs) being thrown up in the past week which may put a stopper on all the fun. If it wasn't for that, things were going quite swimmingly - health and fitness, marriage, school and finances going well. My 20s and 30s were difficult due to disabilities in the family and that may be coming around again.

It’s going amazingly well and far, far exceeded my expectations. Healthy, great job, lovely husband and DC. Fab house. Financially not as successful as I’d like but I don’t care about that so much. I am a very positive person though and tend to be happy and grateful for what I have as opposed to grass is greener.

Happy since met DH 13 years ago, late 40s live in a nice area, nice job, nothing to complain about really, young children so life is a bit relentless at the moment but youngest now at nursery so getting easier

@EmailsaysOOO

Yes its pants isnt it. Wasn't in the life plan.
I am/was a foster carer for teens- very stressful so really don't see myself being able to return to that, though there are other forms of fostering which may be possible. Will have to see.
It is easier now chemo has finished and off the treadmill of blood tests and chemo plus all the other stuff.
I've now got some time to think - what the hell just happened to me ? !
You are right I think that it changes everything so its a good time to revaluate things like work.

I try really hard to count my blessings and appreciate the small stuff but recently I read a question about what accomplishments the younger me would be most proud of and it made me cry.
Honestly, I think the younger me would be horrified to see how my life has gone.

Congratulations- what a brilliant success story @DreamingOfGeneHunt.

(I’m really sorry that was done to you).

Not sure. Living as I expected and having met personal and professional goals but due to cost of living it doesn’t feel anywhere near as comfortable as I thought it would. And now I’m hitting mid life wondering if any of it was really what I wanted anyway. I don’t know what I want for the next half of my life.

My marriage is not in the place I wish it was. I feel lonely.

Well done. You did that. You made a life you should be absolutely proud of. I bet your DD is an absolute legend too.

@WhatNextImScared thank you! She is pretty fabulous ❤️

Horrific teen years and early adulthood was rough. Lovely thirties, my fav decade yet with three boys and lovely husband.
Feeling a bit lost mid forties as oldest has flown the nest and perimenopause has hit and I’ve been out of work a decade.
But lost is ok. I am happy enough.