Page 6 | Feeling shocked after hearing disturbing news about someone from school

FriendlyNPC · 2026-09-17T20:07:41+00:00

I found out a few months ago that a boy I went to school with was caught with indecent images of children, it was in the paper and my sibling still lives locally so told me. He's recently been sentenced, and it was so much worse than initially thought. I don't really want to describe what, but basically since I read the update I feel sick. We weren't close or anything, but we were friendly, and I feel so disgusting to know. Not really after anything other than just needing to get it out. I feel a bit pathetic for feeling so physically ill about it. It's not about me. I haven't even seen him in 20 years. But I feel filthy by association, you know. Shocked. That's it. Thanks for reading.

Dappy777 · 18/09/2026 20:47

Waytoohothot · 18/09/2026 12:57

They live in your street they are people you know its not rare

…and don’t forget that many go to their graves without anyone knowing what they were. A lady once told she was sexually abused by her step grandfather. He would grope her, or stick his tongue in her mouth, while her mum and gran were in the other room. She was seven or eight at the time. Vile, disgusting creature. But she never told anyone, and when he died the church was full. No doubt people in the village still talk about “dear old Bob…lovely old fella he was, we were also fond of him down the pub,” etc.

TheFormerMrsTruelove · 18/09/2026 22:22

Dappy777 · 18/09/2026 20:15

I remember hating that at the time. It was so f-ing smug. You know, ‘sophisticated’ comedians laughing at the stupid Mail readers who think everyone’s a paedophile. I have known at least four women in my life who were sexually abused as kids. None went to the police. CSA is far, far more common that we think. And one of the reasons women don’t come forward is smug twats like the makers of that Brass Eye episode.

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I completely agree with this. You see it on here as well. The ‘I suppose you think there’s a paedophile on every street corner’ or stupid comments about how ridiculous it is to be concerned about men in childcare or sports coaches etc, and you can almost hear the eye rolling through the screen, while they are completely unaware of just how lucky they’ve been.

LizzieW1969 · 18/09/2026 23:06

TheFormerMrsTruelove · 18/09/2026 22:22

I completely agree with this. You see it on here as well. The ‘I suppose you think there’s a paedophile on every street corner’ or stupid comments about how ridiculous it is to be concerned about men in childcare or sports coaches etc, and you can almost hear the eye rolling through the screen, while they are completely unaware of just how lucky they’ve been.

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That is so true. It’s a risk that needs to be taken seriously, never mocked. 😡

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 18/09/2026 23:46

AlphaApple · 18/09/2026 14:40

There’s also some evidence that “normal” porn is a gateway to accessing images of CSA. Men addicted to pornography seek out more and more extreme material to satisfy themselves. Another reason to restrict porn.

I think men need to take responsibility for themselves. Saying “I was born like this” is a cop out.

Agree with this. We are going through it with a family member atm. I can guess that his defence will be that he was just watching ordinary porn and some of the women were made to look younger, or he didn't realise they were so young. No you twat, you have to put specific things into search. Its not like finding a copy of Razzle under a bush.

somewaterytarts · 19/09/2026 19:31

HoppityBun · 18/09/2026 13:54

That’s the thing, isn’t it? It’s not a lifestyle choice. None of us chooses our sexual orientation, we are what we are. If you’re attracted to children, then it must be really hard. I don’t know. Many of us know what it’s like to be tempted to do things we don’t want to do and sexual urges can be overwhelming. That person needs managing and containing.

I would hate to feel that way, it must be overwhelming and unbearable. I have listened to the Double Jeopardy podcast and one of the lawyers there recounted how he was with a client who was in prison and who to him that all while the lawyer was talking to him, he had these images in his head that he couldn’t push away. It must be a torment.

I am really thankful that I’m not like that, and I don’t know what I would do if I or someone that I knew was like that.

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I can't stomach an attraction to children being referred to as a "sexual orientation".

EvieBB · 20/09/2026 08:25

somewaterytarts · 19/09/2026 19:31

I can't stomach an attraction to children being referred to as a "sexual orientation".

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I get it but I agree with the pp. It must be torment to have those unwanted images. You just hope that they never act on it 🙏🏼

unbuttonedowl · 20/09/2026 22:45

My understanding is that it's not a sexual orientation, which refers to who you are attracted to in terms of their gender (or not) eg homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, asexual in a consenting context.)

Sexual interest in children is not a sexual orientation, it's a paraphilia ie. it refers to getting aroused by something atypical, and it's considered a disorder if it harms others ie acting upon paedophiliac urges.

Children can never consent to sex because they don't truly understand what it is, so it can never, ever be consensual (even if they appear to consent or go along with it in the moment.)

There are paedophiles who would like to be renamed 'MAPs' - minor-attracted people - to distance them from the fact that it's a paraphilia. They would like it to be considered a sexual orientation, on the acceptable spectrum of human sexuality.

In my view that's a profoundly dangerous and selfish position. So no, it's not an orientation. And the only people it's "really hard" for are the children these sadistic monsters harm for their own kicks.

JeanSimmons · 20/09/2026 22:57

FinchiePink · 18/09/2026 12:00

I don't think this has ever really been answered. For obvious reasons, trying to study large numbers of paedophiles is difficult and human sexuality and paraphilias are already complex enough. There's theories that it's due to past trauma / suffering abuse themselves as children, there's theories that it's more innate and some sort of disorder, then there are other groups for whom it's suggested ever-more-extreme pornography rewires them to chasing more and more horrifying content.

Given the sheer numbers involved, it does raise the question of how much is actually built-in to us as a species. It's quite clearly not the odd, extremely rare outlier.

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True pedophilia is rare. Not as rare as we would like it to be, but rare. This idea that it's 1 in 5 men is really a reach.

newyorkcake · 21/09/2026 12:04

unbuttonedowl · 20/09/2026 22:45

My understanding is that it's not a sexual orientation, which refers to who you are attracted to in terms of their gender (or not) eg homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, asexual in a consenting context.)

Sexual interest in children is not a sexual orientation, it's a paraphilia ie. it refers to getting aroused by something atypical, and it's considered a disorder if it harms others ie acting upon paedophiliac urges.

Children can never consent to sex because they don't truly understand what it is, so it can never, ever be consensual (even if they appear to consent or go along with it in the moment.)

There are paedophiles who would like to be renamed 'MAPs' - minor-attracted people - to distance them from the fact that it's a paraphilia. They would like it to be considered a sexual orientation, on the acceptable spectrum of human sexuality.

In my view that's a profoundly dangerous and selfish position. So no, it's not an orientation. And the only people it's "really hard" for are the children these sadistic monsters harm for their own kicks.

Edited

It’s a sick fetish but any urge be controlled.
They wouldn’t go around ripping peoples shoes off if they had a foot fetish or go around stroking strangers with feathers because they’d get knocked out but children are vulnerable and they have the strength and ability to force a child to do something they want so they do and a lot of it is having that power over someone else that is helpless and at their mercy.

unbuttonedowl · 21/09/2026 13:12

newyorkcake · 21/09/2026 12:04

It’s a sick fetish but any urge be controlled.
They wouldn’t go around ripping peoples shoes off if they had a foot fetish or go around stroking strangers with feathers because they’d get knocked out but children are vulnerable and they have the strength and ability to force a child to do something they want so they do and a lot of it is having that power over someone else that is helpless and at their mercy.

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Exactly right, they are abusers, plain and simple. And yes they choose their moments very carefully, that is what I find so chilling - normal people want to look out for kids, make sure they are having a nice time and are safe, abusers want to hurt them.