BIG SECRET.

[Chatterlyssecret]

I was reading in aNew Scientist Magazine that the average adult has at least nine secrets that they have never told anyone.revealing them could be very hurtful for others. It’s not the sort of thing you think about in everyday life, Can anyone say that they have no secrets hidden away ? If you did the same thing three times that is your secret , would that be counted as one big secret or three? By the way , I am not going to divulge my secrets .

Not sure about nine, but I fairly sure everyone has some secrets that they never reveal, I can think of 4 but that would be it. Is it sensible,well that depends on the consequence of revealing them

Yea nine seems pretty high. I have maybe two and the only person it would hurt is me.

9 seems a lot! I don’t think I have any no one knows! Some money moving around accounts in Father Ted type way (it’s all mine) is the only one I can think of.

Depends on what you count as big I think.

I've searched the correct definition of secret and it says: a piece of information, a method, or an object kept hidden from the knowledge or view of others

I think "secret" is a loaded word. I've had experiences in life that I wouldn't like to discuss with family or friends simply because it wouldn't benefit anyone for me to do so. Is that then a secret? Or is it just something I've done that is no-one else's business?

I do think there is a difference there between chatting about things that I done in my 20s vs cheating on a partner, say. Is it more of a secret if you're withholding the information for a self-serving purpose? Hmmm...you've raised a thought provoking question, OP.

I have one. It is a very big one an it's so old now I suspect there's no one left who would care, but I won't be sharing.

TBH that has been so traumatic that I don't think I have any others. Since then I have lived by the rule that if it needs to be secret it's doing you no good, and I actually find it really difficult to even employ the little white lie in situations where it would be kind and helpful.

I guess it depends on what you class as a secret.

I agree that the word 'secret' technically seems to cover a very wide variety of things.
In my mind there's a very big difference between not wanting to tell people about something that happened to you many years ago (that has no impact on them) and actively hiding something that has big implications for others.

I hate secrets as when they do reveal themselves it is usually something that will hurt someone . I have some because I have noone to trust . And some could be used against me . Having being betrayed by a partner is the worst as it is not just the betrayal, but the lies and the fact that you were acting in a certain way because you had no idea is devastating.

I guess the cheaters and addicts are pushing up the average for the rest of us.

The New Scientist stopped being scientific about a decade ago if not longer. Complete waste of all that long history of science and investigation completely woked out.

Depends what is considered a secret. Does it include the Christmas presents I've already bought and hidden from family, and would that be one secret or three?

I have things people don’t know about like medical issues, hidden debt, secret fling, MH issues - but I wouldn’t call these secrets.

I am single and so my actions don’t affect anyone else and I don’t feel the need to tell others my business.

I’m wondering what sort of secrets people keep, that their partners wouldn’t know about.
I guess things like having an affair or debt - but then 9 seems really high.

Given the amount of Christmas shopping I've already done, I'm probably above 9!

If I can find out what they are, then I’m more interesting than I thought.

"permanent" secrets ( ie not a present I have bought or planning a birthday surprise), I don't think I have any, in the sense that I haven't ever told anyone as long as you are not counting things like passwords.
However there are certain people that I would not tell certain things to, so in that sense I've kept secrets from particular individuals. There are also some things I've only ever told a handful of people.

I have three. One will change the way people close to me see someone else. I try not to think about it.

Can I ask - does anyone know and is it something you can discuss in RL with people or literally no one knows and you have go carry it around by yourself?

I dont have secrets, why would anyone want to carry that sort of thing around all their lifes.
Even when we are dead and long gone, the truth comes out some how.

If its something I dont want to talk about i keep my mouth shut.
If things pop up I dont want to talk about I just say its no secret but i dont want to talk about it.

When I was 9 I unravelled the toilet paper at school and kicked it around, making a mess. The poor behaviour was announced in assembly the next morning. I've never told a soul.

Apart from that, nothing that nobody else knows. My mum doesn't know I have wedged two vertebrae due to osteoporosis and have infusions annually - why worry her. There are other things like that: nobody at work knows we have a home in France, for example. There's something only my mum and I know and I'm not telling. I met my grandad's mistress - only he, she and I knew who she was and where we lived.

Quite. These days it's more of a comic than a scientific magazine.

I genuinely don’t think I have any big secrets that no one knows.

I've a couple, not huge, but enough to make me worry that I will tell everyone if I end up with dementia!

I would be rigid with embarrassment if they came out!

I dont have anything that nobody knows about but I do have a secret that only DH knows, and a different secret that only my best friend knows

I can't think of any.
Maybe I've led a very boring life.