BIG SECRET.

[Chatterlyssecret]

I was reading in aNew Scientist Magazine that the average adult has at least nine secrets that they have never told anyone.revealing them could be very hurtful for others. It’s not the sort of thing you think about in everyday life, Can anyone say that they have no secrets hidden away ? If you did the same thing three times that is your secret , would that be counted as one big secret or three? By the way , I am not going to divulge my secrets .

Is it a secret if other people know? Or only a secret if no one at all knows?

I have one big thing that I wouldn’t want anyone else to know but my husband and my adult children know it.

I don’t think I have anything that only I know. I wouldn’t want to keep anything secret from my husband.

I have about 4 but they are known to another person , mainly my dh but another secret ( if you want to call it ) I have not told him .

I have a HUGE secret that I had to sign an NDA for.

Then lots of little things like PP have mentioned. Things that are nobody else’s business or would upset someone. For example, I just posted on another thread about how my very close friends dad used to try to touch me up and kiss me on the lips.

It would absolutely kill her to know this and he is dead now. Never any point in telling her.

Ive got two. Yes they are sex related.

A few months before we got married we bought a house with no heating just an open grate, we had estimates to install radiators & heating boiler , but we were refused credit to get it done, It became clear to me that myself & my mother had a County Court judgement against us over a £100 debt I owed a credit company, I was too embarrassed & ashamed to own up to why we were refused credit, from that experience I never bought anything I could not pay cash for & that secret has lived with me for many years.

Everyone has secrets. Most people fonfide in somebody though. I share when appropriate with people I trust. There's maybe one I haven't told anyone and that's not a secret as such!

As pp said I don’t really have any secrets but there are the odd thing I haven’t told anyone to save hurt feelings/embarrassment etc

Oh my word, I've just remembered that over the many long years of my career I signed both the Official Secrets Act and an NDA. So although I can't tell people about any of it, other people undoubtedly do know, but they can't tell anybody either!

One of them is a real biggie.😂

I have a few. Well prob around 20!

I have a few. They would hurt people I love and make them worry pointlessly. So no point in telling them. I think many people carry stuff in this way.

I was told something and sworn to secrecy a few years ago and it's been a very heavy burden indeed. I really hope I'm not confided in like that again. It affected my sleep and MH for a long time. I don't have any real secrets of my own but plenty secret thoughts or crushes over the years.

I have 5 secrets. 4 concerning things I have felt or feel, 1 concerning something that happened to me.

But what is counted as a secret…I mean I’m not going to be advertising to people what my favourite flavour of erotica is, but I wouldn’t consider it a secret (also it’s very vanilla before anyone starts wondering if I am odd)…but by the definition it would count as one.

I’m sure there will be people who shave their toes or pluck hairs from their nipples, why would you tell people? It’s not exactly a secret though is it.

Ah great idea for a thread @Chatterlyssecret I agree with PP’s. Do the things we just don’t discuss with others count as secrets? I have lots of things in my past that I have never discussed with anyone. Some are really inconsequential but others are quite horrifying. I learned to ‘keep secrets’ for want of a better term as a child. That probably sounds worse than it actually was. It just wasn’t the done thing in our family to discuss anything that happened to us in any sort of emotional depth. I think my DH has a lot of ‘secrets’. He is very deep. He had a similar upbringing to me.

I have two or three. I keep them secret because a) they are embarrassing and b) they might hurt people I care about. I write about them in a journal to alleviate the burden.

Some of us have jobs where we learn ‘secrets’ but it is part of the role so it’s more of a confidentiality thing. I’m an NHS employee and have (like many others) treated or been involved with ‘famous’ people. I can never name names nor would I want to plus in that context they are ‘equal’ and the same as every other patient. I’ve also through work had information about criminals.
So those of us with secrets might not just be cheaters!

I know some secrets about several people who don’t know I know, but I can’t think of any secrets of my own.

Via work I've occasionally learned some highly confidential things and I'm aware that the people who told me really shouldn't have done so. Presumably they felt they could rely on me to keep my gob shut, so I have.

NINE??? I’m currently sitting on one and it’s killing me! (I have organised the most amazing surprise for my DH for his 50th in November.) *And my secret is a GOOD one.
BTW, DH knows I have a secret and thinks it’s hilarious watching me try and keep that cat in the bag.