Why is there so much stealth wealth talk on here lately?

[Unexpectedlhereagain]

What’s with all the stealth, wealth bragging on here lately?

The Style and Beauty threads about handbags or beauty advent calendars are eye openers sometimes. Women having multiple handbags worth several k each, and buying 2-3 advent calendars each year worth several hundred each. If you’re older and got your mortgage out of the way early, and you’re a couple with one or both high earners then I can easily see you would have lots of money sloshing about.

Well - that is 1 in 20 working adults, so it’s not that uncommon really is it, given the volume of posting here!

I find what you say fascinating. I think it is great that people talk about money. I think part of the reason why wealth largely remains in the usual circles is that money traditionally was never spoken about by ordinary working people. However now that this is no longer such a taboo subject and there is more information including on forums like Mumsnet. This includes how much people earn, what they have done in regards to education to get the jobs that they have, pensions, investments, including people who initially struggled during the early childhood years but have come out the other side, living comfortably. People are informed and hopefully even if they themselves may not be able to achieve it. However they can hopefully encourage their children to seek these opportunities. I have lived in another country and seen how privileged we are here in regards to opportunities even if you’re not from a well off family. Education including apprenticeship, even if you did not do well at school you are still able to access education later on in life. I work in public services and even I can boost my pension contributions. I can boost my income by looking at further professional development. My children can access educational opportunities including as a parent, seeking these out and doing the work to enable them to access such opportunities. If I had known this information in my early 20’s in regards to pensions, ISA’s etc. Even though I am not earning 6 figures but just contributing a small amount over time would have made a massive difference to my wealth building. By wealth building I mean possibly not retiring in my 60’s. In my 40’s now and it’s not too late. I welcome these “stealth boasts” especially as women. Bearing in mind the pension gap for women, as knowledge is always power no matter what your background is. Men no matter what the background talk about these topics. Let us welcome women who do so.

A while ago I posted that I didn't know if any of my friends were on a six figure salary. The sneering and disbelief I received was very telling.

The thing is, I don't have any friends who are head teachers or hospital consultants. Most of my friends are retired, and as I live near Barnsley the average salary is between £30k and £34k, the median being about £31k. I have since discovered that a friend who was head of social services in a nearby town was on six figures, but I don't think she was when I posted.

Re the posters with DC who achieve all 9s at GCSE, I find it astonishing that of the 1,500 or so students (0.1% of the cohort) who achieve this that so many of their parents are on mumsnet or the WIWIKAU Facebook page.

Whispers - we are all tall though 😳

But way more than than 1500 get all 9s - government data doesn’t include iGCSE so it’s hard to know the total number. Lots also get 9 -s and a rogue 8- I can think of about 5 kids I know well straight away who got that. ( not mine- although one is very tall!)

So, if we are talking UK sat iGCSEs then this will include a lot of young people who were privately educated.

Yes- and include a lot of the schools that get the best results in the country.

Don’t forget the 20000 steps pottering around the house before the school run!

I read a thread on here the other day where everybody thought it was perfectly normal to spend 30k plus per year to fund a child through uni. In real life i have never met anybody who has a spare 30k per year.

I bet you don't 😀

That's correct. About 25% of DCs year group got all 9s a few years ago. This was a well known public school, mix of GCSEs and iGCSEs. 7 was considered a major fail

ETA: re 100k+ salary - it's 15% of London workforce earn this, so nearly 1 in 6.

ETA2: I'd recommend Beauty Advent Calendars thread on S&B - people buying multiple BACs in £250+ range, so easily 1k+ on beauty in a space of a month or so. It's totally normal to them

Yes there’s a thread asking if £42,000 a year would be enough to retire on and that’s without the state pension. I’m comfortably retired but I’d honestly struggle to spend that sort of money on myself.

She won’t be getting the winter fuel allowance any time soon.

And still have enough left to make soup from the carcass.

There was a post the other day where a woman was asking for advice on how to deal with a father-in-law who has such putrid breath they didn’t want him to stay at their house. Apparently, the whole place stinks when he’s there and it sickens everyone. There are posts where people ask for advice on buying a dress for a wedding that cost under £100. Or posts where women have blended families, or not blended families….
I don’t relate to 3/4 of them, though some make for great reading. In the same way there are going to be some hard up people seeking advice, there will be some wealthy people seeking advice here. There are morons in both camps.

I don’t think it is stealth boasting to discuss income in an anonymous forum. Why shouldn’t women be aware that there is a potential to earn good money in some jobs? Should we all just be quiet, earn peanuts, and find a nice rich husband?

I think some 'wealth talk' is insecurity. People who are on what most would term a 'decent income' are afraid that they aren't keeping up. So they come on here, inflate things a bit (because of the insecurity), hoping to hear 'we earn a little less than you and we're comfortably off'. Because it makes them feel that they ARE keeping up.

I mean, I'm living on 50p and a washer, so what do I know?

I don’t know why people are so chippy about other people earning more money. I’m not one of them by the way.. I was a public sector worker so not rolling in it by any stretch of the imagination. I do have friends who work in the City though so I assume they’re on a fair whack. My DH has inherited several hundred thousands from his family and we will probably fund our DD through university ( although given our homework struggles I fear it may not come to it. ). She does go to a school where many girls get all 9’s… I could
probably find the stats if I looked. I’m not going to advertise the fact to my friends that we have this money since it’s not particularly anyone else’s business. Some people are unrealistic on both sides of this debate I feel.

I think London is like this though. I’m in the middle but unusual in that. I think because a lot of middle earners don’t stay in London because of the cost of housing. I could trade in my flat for something much more grand but I like where I live.

For every poster bragging about their wealth there are twice the number calling them out for not living on reality, so it seems a fair distribution to me.

I was going to say something like this. Even on here, if a thread mentions skiing (say), the OP spends ages writing about how this is their ONLY holiday EVER and they are going to sleep in some appalling tiny place to afford it. Otherwise the thread gets a lot of comments to say that she is boasting.

I do sometimes think that the Education boards are probably a bit dull for anyone who doesn't live in London. It may be that people living elsewhere don't even bother going on them.

I do sometimes think that the Education boards are probably a bit dull for anyone who doesn't live in London. It may be that people living elsewhere don't even bother going on them.

And irrelevant for posters living elsewhere.

I nearly had a full house there but my inheritance well be well below any iht limit, well probably below 50% of the iht threshold . Sad times.

I laughed at that thread - and refrained from posting that it might be better to see an actual financial advisor rather than seeking the opinions of a group of randoms on MN

It is funny how many fabulously wealthy posters we have who come here for financial advice rather than going to a financial adviser.

It really is. I mean, if I wanted to know if I could retire on a pension of £42K from my various pots I would make sure I got advice I could trust - RandomUserName on MN just doesn't give the kind of assurance I'm looking for.