Older women are the bedrock of society

[fiveyo]

I had an unpleasant experience in Tesco today. My 5yo had a total meltdown and my 2yo sort of joined in (he was fine but he didn’t want to be left out). 2yo was in the trolly crying performatively and my 5yo was thrashing around on the floor screaming that he didn’t want to walk. Whilst I was waiting for him to emerge from his funk, a couple of lovely older women approached him and tried to talk sense into him. One actually managed to coax him over to the door (which was where I was waiting for him, he could see me the whole time).

I got lots of sympathetic looks from younger women and one who asked me if I was ok (which made me want to burst into tears). These older women had a different vibe though and they were wonderful, calm and generous either their time.

i got served a real on FB this evening from Jimmy Carr’s stand up show and someone asked him about menopause. He went on to say how he thought that older women are the bedrock of society (he expanded on that but I can’t remember what he said) and it ring so true with my experience today. Thanks to the older women in Tescos today, and the younger ones who looked at me kindly while I was dealing with 2 screaming children 🙏

Aw that’s a really nice post. I’m in my 50s now but I also had a few experiences of older ladies being really lovely to me when my kids were being shits when they were tiny! We still remember what it’s like to be struggling with young ones even when our own are grown

It’s hard not to feel inadequate in that situation although I know logically lots of people have been there and it doesn’t make them terrible parents. The women around me made it much easier though ❤️

It's because we have been there and know what it is like . And how hard it can be. Plus not embarrassed to offer help or comment . Usually have more time and patience now as our DCs have grown up. The phrase wise old woman springs to mind ..

Yes, there was a certain confidence they had. No concerns about stepping in (which I appreciated, or course). The confidence which comes with experience perhaps. I don’t think I’d have done what they did (not because I wouldn’t have wanted to help, but rather because I wouldn’t think I was ‘qualified’ if that makes sense.)

Today at work, a friend of mine was in the queue for coffee with his family. My friend had hold of his early teen autistic son whilst I served his wife. An older lady came over to my friend’s wife and I must admit I readied myself to exert my authority and kick her out if she said something but instead she said how they have a beautiful family and it’s obvious her son knows he’s loved.
It was wonderful.

Jimmy Carr is right.

I definitely qualify as older and have on several occasions been able to distract a fretting child to help their frazzled Mum. Been there - done that - know how it feels .....

In my village we retired women do everything - organise the coffee mornings and the huge summer event and an annual arts festival; supply catering to fund-raising events; serve on the hall trustees and do the bookings; serve on the school governors; edit the local magazine; organize coach trips to gigs; created a wonderful children's playground from our fund-raising; look after the local historic church building whether believers or not; store and preserve the village archive; look after the local common and get new trees planted when needed; organise music events with the primary school ..... I could go on! - this is just a sample. When something needs doing, everyone turns to us!

Motivated and willing retired women are definitely the bedrock of this village.

There are still good people around
What a lovely post.
My DW who is disabled fell and really hurt herself.
People came right in about to help
It was heartening to be helped
And restores faith in human nature.

Your village is so fortunate to have you all 🙌

I genuinely think most people are good people but some people go above and beyond and I was so grateful for their kindness today

That’s lovely

Nice heartwarming thread @fiveyo thank you, especially after some of the rancid ageist threads you see on here berating anyone over 50 as racist, bigoted, thick, and badly educated. (One currently running right now!)

Gen X rock (and BabyBoomers are fairly cool too!)

Lovely thred, thank you. I will always help or say a kind word to anyone struggling with their DC whilst shopping.

After all, I was the woman that pushed a screaming baby ➡️toddler ➡️ & then child round the supermarket.

DC is 16 now and lucky for me, has grown out of it. But I remember these days and judging looks vividly.

❤️

I would wholeheartedly agree op. Following on from today’s toilet threads. I once got caught short (stomach issue) in a garden centre with my two boys. On my own one a baby the other a toddler. Spotted the disabled toilet of the coriander and we all went in.

Mid ablution my toddler opened the door thankfully two older women were the ones who looked in. Smiled at me sat on the loo and guarded the door so he couldn’t escape and protect my dignity.

If you’re ever in a tight spot they are heroes.

Omg - I can imagine being stuck on the loo and being like “NO, don’t open the…. 😂”

@MyTwoBonobos oh no what a predicament and potentially affronting.
We done those women.

I think it's true of many workplaces as well. Late middle aged women carrying a lot of the weight with zero fuss and often zero recognition. I see it all over the place.

I feel fortunate that I felt no judgement (aside from that which I cast upon myself, perhaps!). I think modern society is much kinder and more understanding of parents in this type of situation. Things aren’t perfect but I felt supported and certainly not judged ❤️

Yep, often in much more ‘junior’ roles than they could have managed had they not taken time out to raise kids.

Yes.

@Mischance same in my village. We run the church, the parish council and the village hall!

100%. Most of the tedious, necessary and time consuming work in my office is carried out by older women who are quietly competent while the youngsters chase the new and the high profile stuff.

In Caitlin Moran's book More Than a Woman she says that if you've got a problem with a company and need it resolved the person you really need on the end of the phone is (paraphrasing here) a fifty something woman called Susan because Susan will cut through the dross and actually deal with the problem. I have to say I agree with her.

I am always seeing posts on social media from misogynists men stating that men built the world. Yes they constructed bridges buildings etc, but it's women, and yes mainly older women, who have built the world we live in, as in society and community, through care, cooperation and competence.

It's thought to be why humans (and Whales!) have menopause...as we are still helpful to the group once our reproductive years are over.