I reckon the new normal is parents moving out and leaving the kids.

[Notbuiltforheat]

In southeast England with its stupid house prices for sure.

the chances of any of my three teens earning enough to even rent let alone buy their own gaff round here (Home Counties) is negligible. I bought the family house with their dad (now my ex) before they were born and the mortgage is almost gone. We’d both had our own houses anyway. There is NOTHING even half affordable- even the stuff designated as affordable is nonsense. So my retirement planning is I move out to somewhere smaller and they carry on living here. And I think lots of other parents will be doing the same.

How can it be any other way?

Exactly. I don’t understand the rush to buy that so many parents have for their children. What happened to spending your 20s house sharing, enjoy life a bit. Buy when you have a good job and a partner to share the costs with. The worse case scenario is a load of adults living with their parents into their 30s just so they get on the housing market earlier than they need to. It’s terrible for everyone.

This is a bizarre reaction.

No one wants to live with their siblings.

£250k for a flat isn't unreasonable. I'm guessing a house costs £300/400k? Perfectly doable for a professional working couple with a mortgage.

Good grief.

That’s quite an assumption - that your kids will get well paying/professional jobs. Doesn’t always happen. Someone has to blue-collar it, without being the boss.

I do think it's unlikely that your children will want to live in the house together longterm though, especially once they have partners and possibly families.

I agree with those that say multigenerational living is more normal.

Everyone deserves a house, but the truth is, this current climate means so many young adults can’t get a first home straight away and more people are staying at home.

I was at home for several years, before I moved out, but I also respected that it was my parents house and that pushed me to save up and work towards my own place.

I don’t think you should feel the need to give up your house, but maybe you can rearrange the living arrangements so everyone has their own room, there are rules, everyone contributed their bit, and become an affordable accomodation until they are ready to leave.

I know a lot of siblings that move out and rent together. So living together shouldn’t be an issue.

I know a lot of siblings that move out and rent together. So living together shouldn’t be an issue.

@Breadandsticks I don't know any, my DH gets on well with his siblings, but living together...no thanks!

My experience was that I spent a lot of my 20s living at home because I couldn't afford to move out. It was very socially stunting, I had this naive idea that I could find some new friends and go on to house share with them but I ended up really isolated. Like I wasn't a teenager but also wasn't accepted as an adult, I don't know if this has improved since the 2008 era.

Luckily I had a boyfriend from uni and we could save together and create a life for ourselves. The idea of either of us moving in with in laws and starting a family was unimaginable. I knew other cultures did so but it didn't appeal at all. I suspect a lot of parents wouldn't want this either.

I don't think its the same thing as multi-generational living, it's adult children living with their parents in a state of perpetual adolescence.

I think this has always happened in London tbf. More expensive areas. Lots of trust fund babies essentially bunk in their grandparents houses in London.

No idea how it all works but no doubt theres an inheritance tax dodge in there somewhere.

If the children want to stay at home and the parents are ok with that you don't even need to divide it into flats. Even though your house is in effect already provided with this setup. That's how house shares work which are many times grotty and costly and you don't have the added advantage of family members sharing when to do the shopping. In fact you can ask and you can repay with some other favour. I hope your new house is close to hospitals and amenities so you haven't sacrificed everything for your children.

I'm glad you had the cash to buy a second house cheap OP. A flat would have had service charges which are at least £200 a month. I'm bemused whenever someone on Mumsnet asks why the poster doesn't downsize to a flat to save on bills. Plus many have no stairs.

If you are lucky enough as a young person to save enough e.g. 1000k a month by saving on rent, get a pay rise then by age thirty you could have saved 100k at least. I have seen people who married in their thirties though, had lived in the family home all this time while working, were blowing it all on holidays and luxuries and didn't have a deposit even for a 250k flat combined or even for those fancy 400k flats they chose as they chose one of them part buy. Even in London suburbs you can find cavity wall flats built with thick, new specification walls (low rise, no lift and tiled roofs) for 250k. A similar flat with ensuite could cost 300k if you want to sacrifice bedroom and wardrobe space for an extra bathroom and bigger mortgage. There are of course the exorbitantly expensive new, high rise flats.

Unless of course these are children who well into adulthood treat their parents as their personal slaves, don't clean their bedrooms, let alone the house ...

Its funny you post this because yes, this is our exact plan.

We are millenials but my neighbour (we live on a nice street of detached houses but ours is converted into 2 properties and is HA which is the only reason we can afford it) is a little older than us and his mum who is in her 60's or so has done the exact same thing; he now lives there with his now young adult children and she lives I think in a canal boat, which is our dream too.

Buying a home together across generations is a common practice in Italy called mutuo cointestato (joint mortgage) or pooling family resources to secure property. Why Families Do This:

• High Property Costs: Housing prices in many Italian areas are high compared to average local salaries.
• Strict Mortgage Rules: Banks require steady, permanent job contracts, which can be hard for younger workers to get.
• Strong Family Ties: Italian families often pool savings to keep property within the family and avoid renting

@Ladygodalmighty this is good to hear. I do rather think the British assumption that families can’t possibly want to live multi generationally is a jaundiced perspective.

I am not white British, know more familes that live together than not, and without exception all the women are miserable because they end up being unpaid child and elder care.

House prices are dropping fast. The next 10 years is going to be a massive economic reboot. None of us know what that will mean just yet. Don’t make any big decisions yet. Sell your house whenever you want to and do with your last chapter as you please (which may include offering them large deposits)

I think that there can be a bit of a tendency to romanticise it.

Literally who wants to live with their MILs? And yet many of my friends do. They are practically suicidal.
That said, I am planning to live with my mum! 😀

I'm also not convinced that there are many parents who want their kids spouses or grandchildren living with them. If anything I remember some of my peers being told that if you want to get married you need to be able to afford to live together.

Learning to communicate is always of benefit. British women may be well trained in feminism and how to be assertive.

It doesn’t seem to me to be a good time to encourage first time buying. Am I being a scaredy cat ?

That's quite a generalisation. Glad you said " may".

Yeah I'm aware of that. But surely it's not the first choice.

I suppose it comes down to whether people want to have children in what they consider to be worse conditions than they themselves grew up with.

That's mad,under what grounds does she qualify fot a council house why can't she rent privately

But when you marry dont his assests become yours and vice versa, so hes moved in and youve not put him on the deeds presumbly so the council dont know he's got an owned property but is living with u in a council one, yes when u married and joined households legally u should have moved into his owned home to free up the council house for someone who doesn't have the option of a mortgaged home, it his wasn't big enough u should have found somewhere together, it's mad u can have an asset like an owned home and still keep your council place

Lol.
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