Eating out and speakerphone calls

[Monndayhello]

I'm on holiday abroad at the moment eating out in local restaurants. The last two evenings a table near me has had a lengthy video call on speaker phone while waiting for their meal. They have both I think been Italians if this makes a difference, so I've not been able to understand the conversation.

I think this is very rude, though I know social norms are changing. Both times I've said nothing but was annoyed. Chances are it will happen again on this holiday. Would you say anything, or just tutt quietly about their rudeness, or do I just actually have to get over myself and accept most people consider this normal acceptable behaviour now!

No, it’s not acceptable behaviour. It’s antisocial and rude. I’d complain.

I agree. I absolutely hate it when people do this around the pool in a hotel. Lying on a sunbed having a loud conversation with family/friends with absolutely no regard for how that is disturbing others. People have become so utterly selfish.

Italian is probably the only language I wouldn’t mind speakerphone calls in because I’d use it as listening practice.

But yes, it’s rude.

It's rude. You could try complaining and asking to be moved.

It’s so rude. People do it on public transport too. It makes me want to sit next to them and do the same til they become aware of their behaviour!

Or join in the conversation.

I don't understand why people have speakerphone calls in public. I feel that conversations should be private.

When DH was in hospital for several weeks last year the number of speakerphone telephone conversations on the ward was ridiculous and very irritating.

Rude and inconsiderate to do it in a restaurant. I just find it a very odd behaviour in general. I often wonder why people walk along the street with their device on speakerphone and the conversation blaring out. I see it several times a day and it puzzles me.

My friend’s husband has a significant hearing loss and he finds it helpful to use speakerphone. But I just can’t think of why so many people find it necessary. It remind’s me of the comedian Dom Jolly’s sketches years ago when he’d walk around with a massive mobile bellowing “I’M ON THE PHONE !

I hate this so much. Happens all the time in the UK and it drives me up the wall. I don't understand why anyone would want to have a conversation on speakerphone. I just don't get it.

I personally hate this and I would complain. I have adjacent neighbours who have every single phone call of their lives on speaker phone in their back garden, every drama, argument, personal issue, financial disaster, warts and all. Added to which their language (definitely not Italian, think English swear word contest.... ) is delightful....🙄 I cannot understand why this seems to be acceptable to some people now.

Has anyone politely intervened and what was the outcome? There are two options either ask nicely directly or speak to staff etc as the establishment must have a policy. If we don’t do this it’s only going to get worse. I was on a long haul flight recently and a late teen was watching something really loudly next to me. I just told the cabin crew and it was sorted instantly.

I take phone calls on speaker, although I try to keep them at a low volume in public, but it is nothing to do with attention seeking, selfishness or main character syndrome - there is evidence that the EMF radiation from phones could be harmful over time, so I feel minimising risk by following recommended procedures (including speakerphone mode) is the best tactic. My children do the same.

How is it different to talking to a person next to you, as long as you dont shout at each other?

Earphones..?

It's rude. If you are that concerned about radiation, use headphones.

We need a 'Cone of Silence' at each table...

(From the 1960s TV program 'Get Smart')

It is SO rude. My husband absolutely dreads this happening as I call the person out, every single time.

Last time was in a wine bar 2 weeks ago. Guy in the adjacent booth was on his own and having a speaker phone conversation. Or he was until I (very politely) said, ‘we can hear that!’. That was all it took. One day someone will tell me to fuck off, but so far, I’ve had nothing but compliance.

I asked a woman at the table next to me to please take her phone off speaker. She grumbled a bit but did it. And then spent the next twenty minutes trying to eat her meal with her phone wedged between her shoulder and her ear, while giving me daggers and making pointed remarks to the person on the other end, "Sorry, it's a bit tricky...yeah I'll tell you later." It was actually quite funny. Just hang up, you absolute plum!

There’s no evidence that having a mobile phone against your ear during a call is harmful.

What is clearly antisocial and monstrously selfish is forcing everyone around you to listen to your conversation on speakerphone. Nobody else wants to hear your side of the call, let alone someone else’s tinny voice coming through your phone. It’s just incredibly inconsiderate when other people are within earshot.

And comparing it to talking to someone sitting next to you is ridiculous. If I’m sitting next to another person and we have a conversation, that’s a normal, reciprocal social interaction. Nobody expects everyone around them to listen in when they’re talking to a person beside them, so why should a phone suddenly make that acceptable? Speakerphone in a shared space is essentially turning a private conversation into an involuntary public broadcast.

Find me one person who genuinely doesn’t find it annoying and you’ve just found a fellow selfish idiot.

I hate it, but then I increasingly think I’m at odds with modern ‘manners’. I also hate it when people have calls or watch videos on loudspeaker in cafes and restaurants - as seen/heard in a Cote Brasserie recently, a bunch of 60-somethings, so not the teens and young adults that you might expect.

How did people manage to get through meals before smartphones and iPads for kids m? Oh yeah, they had a conversation with each other or took a book or a magazine or just people watched if they were dining alone.

I suppose restaurants are between a rock and a hard place - if they tell people not to do it, people will leave them bad reviews and eat elsewhere; not good in the current climate. But equally if a restaurant was open about not allowing phones and iPads on loudspeaker, it would quickly become my favourite place to eat!

What happened to just talking to each other during a meal?

It is antisocial and can easily be avoided. I tend to find it’s people my age who do it most. Im over 70 but I cannot tell you how many meetings I’ve been in and people don’t hand their phones turned to silent so the meeting or speaker is interrupted. Then they answer the call and make a song and dance about that too!

Yes, having your phone on speaker when around others is rude.

It’s a totally different sound and tone to talking to someone next to you. When in a restaurant etc you both temper your volume and tone to the environment around you - on a phone the other person doesnt know this, people also speak louder to someone on the phone.

This ^^

I don't understand why you wouldn't use earphones @Flickitspinittwistitbopit

It sounds totally different. The noise quality is different, people speak more loudly on phones, the other person’s voice is distorted. Nothing like a conversation.

You're selfish.

If you're so concerned about using a mobile phone, if someone calls just text them and say you'll call them back from home.

I nearly always take calls on speakerphone but not in public areas. Why would I want strangers listening to my conversations? It's also just very rude.