Huge Regret Moving To Council House - WWYD?

[CouncilHouseRegret]

My teen and I recently moved from a private rented 3-bed that I'd been in for nearly twenty years into a 2-bed council house after being on the waiting list for over a decade. I liked my old house, the landlord was great, we had lovely neighbours, the rent was relatively cheap compared to market rates, and I loved the area.

A few months ago I was offered a council house and as I'd been on the waiting list for so long, I just took it without really thinking things through.

We've been here less than two months and I've spent several thousand on this house in terms of flooring, furniture, white goods and so on but I'm having major regrets to the point my stomach has a constant sick feeling, so I'm struggling to eat and consequently losing weight. I actually hate it and wake up every morning feeling so unhappy. The house is small and needs loads of work, there's literally nothing to do in this area, hardly any shops, I'm further from friends and family, and although the area is ok, I don't feel as safe as I did before. In my last area everyone and everything was in walking distance and I felt safe. I'm a single parent of a teen who's going to uni in a few weeks, and I feel like once they're gone I'll be stuck here on my own hating it. If I could go back in time, I'd have just stayed where I was.

I know council has a low rent and the security of a lifetime tenancy, but I'm seriously questionining whether I can stay here. In fact I'm already thinking about how I can leave and have been looking into mutual exchanges but I can't do one until I've been here a year and don't know if I can cope here that long.

I know my previous landlord hasn't let out my old house yet and I'm considering contacting them to see if I can move back, but I suspect they'd increase the rent which may make it unaffordable.

In my position WWYD?

Sorry but unless you have large savings you would be mad to give it up and go back into private renting. Of course you can manage for a year. Make a savings plan and stick to it. You'll see this house as a blessing before long.

Tough it out for a year, then request a swap if you still feel the same.

I think you need to give it time.I fet the same when I moved into this house and now love it.It's a pretty normal reaction to moving especially after 20 years somewhere. Being in private rental in a house too big for you sounds vulnerable to me as you get older and children leave. Having a guaranteed home with subsidised rent is far more sensible and safe. Start looking around for local groups, talk to neighbours and start making it feel like home.

I’d stay where you are. Low rent and security of a life time tenancy. And you have said the area is okay. Council tenancies are really hard to get .

What you've got to remember is that your private LL could have decided to sell at anytime and then you'd have been regretting not accepting the CH as not all private landlords are great plus you could end up with the upheaval of moving every couple of years,plus private rent seems to be increasing at an alarmingrate - I'm not sure if right to buy is still a thing but in a couple of years you could be a home owner which will give your far m9re choice in the future.

One other thing that might be adding to how you feel, is the knock on impact of your DC leaving for uni. Whether you were in your old or new house, it's the time when you realise they're really off to start their lives and you'll miss them.

If you do go back, longterm can you afford to privately rent and pay higher utility bills, thinking paticularly when you're on a reduced income later in life.

I don't know how easy a Counchil house swap is, but is this something that you might consider in the future?

I had similar feelings after my last move. After about 4 months it stopped and now I love my current place and wouldn't go back even if I was allowed to live there free. I've been here over 10 years now and love everything about it.

Take things a day at a time, keep yourself busy, and there is a good chance you'll settle in soon. Moving is one of the most stressful things you can do in life and stress always makes us feel uneasy about things.

If you still really hate down the line then you can fix things with a swap, but you'd be silly to give up lifetime security and all the money you've spent already over a feeling that is most likely temporary.

Op if it helps - i think a lot of people feel like this when they move - like we lived in a beautiful new build rental in an amazing place in London for 8 years a minute from the tube, 5 mins to the mall with all the shops we'd need, a cinema, places to eat, cafes, pubs

when i was pregnant we started trying to buy a place and we soon found there was no way we could afford to stay in the area - so pushed out and out until we were in a totally different neighbourhood, 15 mins from the tube, no nice cafes or places to eat on the doorstep..

but we needed a bigger place and wanted to buy so this is what we did

i still dream of my old apartment and the first night in the new house my husband went to pop open the champagne to celebrate and i burst into tears as I thought we'd made a huge mistake

5 years on and we've slowly done the kitchen and bathroom and redecorated the place is looking much more like ours and we've gotten used to the area and it is slowly getting better

And I can just get on a bus and go to the old neighbourghood for food or whatever - it just take a bit longer.

I think the savings you will make in the long run and the security will be well worth it

So many people would kill to be in your position, you sound really ungrateful.

This. This. This. Private rented in the future while retired? Multiply the tension you are feeling now by 100. Good luck. 🤞

l know it’s obvious but there are always pros and cons with changes. And I’ve always regretted things in a new house and taken time to settle. I agree with pps, stick out the year then research a swap . Just knowing it doesn’t have to be forever might help.

Maybe plan some weekends away or other things to help with getting through it eg somewhere near where dc is going to uni so there’s plenty for you to do but you can meet them, probably for lunch ie not disturb the early key evening socialising if that’s what suits them. But also plan other things to keep busy.
i also found that hosting made it feel more like home. Good luck, in the long run you almost certainly are doing the right thing but it might or might not need the tweak of a swap and your heart will need to catch up with your head.

What people are saying about staying for now and then looking at a swap. Private renting in older age is the most precarious option.
Getting any council property is a gift in these times.

I think give it more time too, I really missed my old home of 10 years for the first couple of months after moving and had thoughts of trying to move back. New home is better in many ways but it was just that attachment and sense of 'home' that needed to transfer over in my head. Are there any walking routes/parks etc from your new place? Getting out on foot seemed to help 'root' me and I started to build up new familiar faces to say hello to etc.

Just give it time.

I went from owning my own house with my ex to a council house, I hated every thing about the house, it’s a BISF house so made of steel, on a main road, I just didn’t feel right. Twenty years later and lots of memories I’m still here 🤷‍♀️
Ive got to know my neighbours over the years, I’ve got the house how I want it and I’m reasonably happy

id stay in the house for a year and then try and do a mutual exchange if you still feel the same way

Why don’t you feel safe?

Some people just hate moving. They are like plants with deep roots into the soil, and cannot just be dug up and transplanted without huge trauma.

The council vs private is not the issue. OP just has to give herself time to let her roots re-grow.
Roots before shoots.

You are just homesick for your old life.

This is a fresh start and you need to find the positives.

You can eventually swap your council home but I think you need to be there a year.

You say it’s small but your child will be going to uni so it will feel bigger.

In what way do you feel unsafe?

You’re having a normal reaction to how moving house is unsettling. It will take a while to settle in if you lived in your previous home for 20 years. Think of the long term when you need to retire and pay the rent still - the private rental you love might well go up too much or be sold but in council housing you’ll always be able to pay from pension credit and can pass over the tenancy to your child if they still live there I think.

Your old landlord could sell that house anytime at all.

You might not think so, but heaven forbid what if he died. His family would sell that house faster than you could blink.

You are now secure, stay put.
Start planning and researching for when you can do a house swap next year. It will soon come round before you know it.

It could be more about your teen moving away to uni

id try n give it a year then see how you feel
you’ve got a lot going on atm and you might just need time to settle

good luck op

I think it's just 'new house blues'. I had the same and I only moved a hundred metres down the road!

Concentrate on how good it feels to have security rather than all the downsides. Your DC will always have somewhere to come back to and not have to worry about mother being turfed out because the landlord has decided to sell.

I too would suggest giving it a bit more time.

The big pros of your council tenancy are surely the security of a lifetime tenancy and a fairly low rent.

Private renting really doesn't offer the same level of security. Even with the new Renters' Rights legislation. The landlord can still decide to sell the property, it just takes generally longer for them to give reasonable notice to do it. I know. I am a private landlord, although I definitely don't plan on selling my properties for a long time yet and will be as fair as I possibly can be to my tenants if circumstances do change.

So you could move back and then find the landlord upping the rent and/or deciding to sell. Then you would regret not keeping your council house.

You've had to do work to the council house. Look on that as you putting your stamp on it and starting to make it more yours.

The area you say is OK, so maybe you just need time to settle more and could feel differently in a few months time or a year. If you are still not properly settled then you could possibly investigate a house swap, though I am not sure how easy that is to do.

Give it time. Look up central nervous system - you're reacting to a big change.

The security you have now is not to be given up lightly.

You can't put a price on happiness Mumsnet don't tend to know much about council properties and see them as something to be envious of, but a lot of times they're not. In yoyr situation, being on your own, id see if I coukd get that rental back.

If you can try to wait out the year you may even find you like the place by then, but if not you know it’s not for ever.
Practically speaking if you were to go back to private rented accommodation and needed to leave ( eg if the landlord sold) in a few years you might only qualify for a one bedroom council property as DC might not be included due to age/ living elsewhere.