DS won't wear any other clothes.

[Bibbitea]

He is 15, not interested in fashion at all.

Undergoing an autistim assessment currently and is struggling at school (just for context)

He has a few pals in school and has gone round regularly over the holidays.

He has a wardrobe full of clothes but mostly joggers as last year he was in a phase of just wearing generic jogging bottoms. The type you just get in primark for £7 and white tshirts. He had a growth spurt so grew out of the stuff he had before that, so replaced with the joggers he requested.

He had a single pair of cargo pants and a generic no label hoodie.

He has worn these every single day of the holidays when he has left the house. I keep asking him if he wants to get new clothes and he keeps saying no.

Yesterday we ended up at a shopping centre and his sister was buying sone bits from hollister.

Hes recently got into some grungy bands and wears a band beanie he bought.

I tried showing him some baggy skater pants but he didn't want to try any on. Ditto for the tahirts etc.

He said he liked 'that hoodie' and pointed to a plain hoodie that was EXACTLY the same as the one hes worn non stop for months 😒🤣 He admitted he was winding me up.

I would like to get him some new bits because I just think his friend and friends family must think he only had one set of clothes in the whole world?!

Should I just buy some stuff and just leave it in his room and see if he puts it on?

I would like him to have a choice though but he just has no interest.

He asked for new trainers but wanted the same ones the had had last time (which are the 3rd pair in a row that have been the same)

Leave him to it, he's more than capable of picking what he likes and if that's the same thing so be it. You're concerned about what other people think about your parenting and provision of clothing but he's happy so go with that.

No, when you find something he will wear, buy multiples of those. Buying random stuff for him to ignore is just a waste of money.

Yes buy the clothes. Get a few of each piece that he likes. At least that way the clothes can be washed more often and he’ll be in clean clothes.

When I find clothing that I really like I’ll get it in a few colours.

You are lucky - there are clothes and shoes that can be weather appropriate, suitable for all occasions, and that he is prepared to wear and you can buy multiples of them so they can be washed and you aren't wasting money..Honestly with an autistic teen you have dodged a bullet. Keep buying them, buy a few extras in bigger sizes.

It could be worse. My autistic 20 year old won't get rid of any clothing and has 64 shirts currently and is in a box room. I keep trying to siphon a few away but he notices!

Its not just me worrying about what other people think, he has had a massive growth spurt and these one set of cargos and hoodie are starting to skim his ankles and wrists.

Plus they are just primark ones (its what he wanted last year) and the quality isn't that great to stand up to them being washed so often as they are all he will wear

He isn't going to wear anything he feels uncomfortable in. I have two sons who don't care about labels or fashion which is basically someone deciding what to sell that is different than last season. When oversized clothes were all "in" I don't look good in any of it so just won't buy it.

Both my sons look like they have 2 pairs of jeans each, they just have several pairs of the same jeans, same style, same colour so they last longer before some designer decides that baggy jeans or barrel or carrot jeans are the next thing they can sell and they would hate. Basically a black pair and a dark blue pair.

Same with trainers, they wear the same two pairs because they are comfy and they don't care what other people think about how they dress. My Dad was a marketing consultant in textiles, ie fashion but also household stuff, tea towels, cushion covers, sofa material, curtains etc. I grew up knowing how that all works and so do my children.

My sons are young adults, both showered daily, smell lovely and wear clean clothes. Ds1's wardrobe is getting a little more adventurous, Ds2, nope. He is at uni but on a summer internship so is in chinos and a long sleeved shirt with cool shoes. He looks adorable. He knows that is what he has to wear. When he is home he is back in jogger shorts and a plain t shirt.

Buy your son more items of the same clothes he has. It will show him you accept him for who he is and not who you want him to be.

also if there are one set of trainers that work buy another pair a size up - we got caught out by sodding bastard Geox discontinuing the one possible shoe - there was a hairy fortnight of not leaving the house before we found something acceptable and there is still a comment made every.single.time shoes are put on! This happened about a year ago.

Luckily they are just black airmax, theyve been around donkeys years, I can't see them going anywhere.

Mine was the same. Buy exact same copies - on ebay if needed - so he's got several and not living in rags.

Otherwise leave him to it!

Just buy him what he wants and what he feels comfortable in.

I'm autistic and have a uniform of leggings, loose tops and loose jumpers. I won't wear anything else (except maybe dresses in summer, or soft shorts).

I'm not trying to make him into someone else 😕

I'm just trying to buy him some clothes that fit him and multiples so he has clean clothes

The cargo trousers and hoodie aren't in primark anymore so I can't get the same ones

It doesn't matter if all his clothes are identical, only that they fit and are comfortable.

Try to source the same items again.

This is a you problem.

when he wants new clothes you’ll know about it.

nobody thinks what teenage boys wear reflects their parents taste

My dh has autistic people in his family but has no interest in getting a diagnosis as he will say it would make no difference to his life .
However he has so many traits it's obvious he is . Like your ds he has no interest in clothes or never sees that he needs new ones as the other are worn out .
He will wear one type of trouser and has to be the same colour so has multiples of those . Ditto his shoes - one brand , style , colour but only wants one pair at a time and will wear until they are very worn then I will go with him to get another pair .
I'm sure we will be in trouble if they ever stop making them !
He will wear polo shirts , always plain ( no logos ) same colour but has got different brands ( when I say brands never designers , places like M & S , John Lewis )

So I get your frustrations and maybe he would be prepared to have multiples of the same thing .

Just buy him the same as what he’s got in larger sizes. Clothes are meant for practical reasons not fashion he’s got the right idea.

An (undiagnosed) friend buys 6 pairs of identical T-shirts and trousers from M&S and that’s all he wears. So you are possibly fighting a losing battle.

You just need to convey that you will buy him anything he wants, whatever that is. The Primark thing is frustrating as they don't have the same joggers but you can look for the same sort of shape and whether that is cuffed or not cuffed. Try Next . Sports Direct or Amazon Basics for similar. I have this problem too with my sons.

I think continually suggesting items that he rejects does give the message that this is what you want to see him in. You might not be intending that but that is how it comes across. He is 15, has eyes and can see the same things you can.

The problem with just wearing the same brand and style and colour all the time is that being so inflexible makes the child more and more inflexible over other things too. Also, if the child gets too big for the range or they stop making it you are stuck.
We have a similar DS and we try and expand the range of acceptable clothing by getting similar in a different brand or colour so that when he grows out of things we have something to move on to.
We know that DS will have the odd occasion when he needs to dress smarter so we've moved on to chinos with an elastic waist and soft fabric, used items on Vinted are great for this. He will now wear his Scout shirt happily (and taught himself buttons to put it on) so I got him a similar but white shirt that's also quite well worn as we have a family occasion to go to soon - black chinos and a white shirt will look smart enough for a teenager.

Leave him to it, this is absolutely not an issue to get worked up about!

My DH is not ND but very much has an “uniform” of jeans/chinos and plain shirt for work, plain cotton t shirt for home, shorts if it’s warm, hoodie or plain round neck jumper if it’s cold. He buys a few pairs of the same jeans at a time because they’re the only ones he likes,
same with shoes he will just buy the same ones again if a pair needs replacing.
Always the same type of sock too

I would just say work out what it is that he likes about the clothes that he has, (eg colour, fabric, plainness) and then order as similar as you can to what he already has, and get a selection for him to try at home.
I have 3 adult sons, none of them like trying things on in shops, and hate shopping. Online is the way to go, and once you find something they like, get more the same. But I've often ended up having to send back most or all of the order, just to end up with one or two suitable items. It's quite time consuming, but I like shopping so it's fine for me. The older ones now do this for themselves, but I still help the youngest, so that he is not walking around in rags.
One of mine likes things from H&M and Uniqlo for plain basics. One of them gets hoodies for xmas chosen by me from places like RSPB, so there might be pictures on the front, but not logos, and he wears these a lot. One of them has found a brand of polo shirts that are specially cut for his shape and size, and he orders several at a time. Some of the young men I know like Rapanui Tshirts and hoodies.
Good luck!

My son is AuADHD and is not in the slightest bit interested in clothes either. He has lost a lot of weight in the last year (deliberate) and his current clothes are far too big. Not such an issue with the t-shirts and I was allowed to buy him new pants (the same ones he's always had from tesco) so at least they don't fall down.

However he can no longer wear his cargo trousers (Primark) and they don't sell the same ones anymore. He won't wear second hand. I'm only really concerned as he is living in two pairs of shorts at the moment but when it starts getting cold we're going to be a bit stuck.

My plan is to entice him into town with a guilt trip (I know!) because its my birthday later this week and I would like a new book nook kit from him (he builds them for me - we both know its just to keep him busy but I do like them) and then enforce a Primark trip.
We don't live that close to one so its a pain for me to return things - at least if he's with me we've got a fighting chance. He hates shops but I'm fed up of bringing stuff home and him rejecting it immediately. He knows logically that he is going to need some form of trousers so we need to get it sorted out.

I wish you luck OP. Its really ok though if your son just wants to wear exactly the same things. And at least if its primark you can buy a few at a time.

The problem with just wearing the same brand and style and colour all the time is that being so inflexible makes the child more and more inflexible over other things too.

I'm not sure this is always the case, and with my 'quick to experience sensory overload' teen, we've found the opposite - if he's wearing his favourite clothes, he can be much more open to new things whereas if he's already conscious of what he's wearing and how it feels, he is focused on that and struggles with any demands beyond 'exist with sub-optimal clothing'.

OP - Vinted can be good for finding last season's clothes with the added benefit that they might have been worn in a bit. I always need to air everything for ages before it stops smelling of 'otjer people's though!

The problem with just wearing the same brand and style and colour all the time is that being so inflexible makes the child more and more inflexible over other things too.

As an autistic adult, I actually believe it's opposite. When I have control over my clothes, I am much more able to tolerate other changes as I'm not constantly battling a sensory nightmare with itchy fabrics, labels, loose fabric etc.

Ha, x-post @DysmalRadius!