I’m really struggling with my DH and our DS’s relationship. DS is 16 and a typical teen. He’s a nice lad!… I work with teens and know that all of DS’s behaviours are completely normal!… sulky, one word answers, not very appreciative, lazy. But he’s also chatty, pleasant, playful, very calm and very chilled. Lovely to his younger sister (12), never gets angry and will do anything that’s asked of him… without back chat.
But DH thinks he’s dopey and apathetic. He takes it personally if ds gives grumpy one word answers, or if he’s doesn’t seem appreciative. For example we’re currently on a 4 week trip around Europe and DH gets annoyed and argumentative if ds doesn’t want to do certain things like get out of bed before 10! Or go on a certain trip. DH thinks he’s not wanting to spend time with us as a family, saying ‘what was the point in him coming’, or ‘I’m not bringing him next time’ I then need to talk to dh about compromise. Ds has been taking part in a lot of family time. I get it. It’s a bit much spending all your time with the same people. We all need down time away… ds just needs more because he’s a teen
I think he’s really struggling with the independent teen stage, and is taking it all personally. I feel like I’m constantly defending ds, when he’s not actually doing anything wrong. It’s frustrating and tiring. And honestly hurtful.