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What’s a tiny, yet unhinged, thing an ex did? Light-hearted

87 replies

RiotNotDiet · 07/08/2026 08:50

A small, seemingly minor thing that you look back on and go ‘thank god we didn’t stay together?’ I just had a memory pop up of the time my ex husband and I were just sitting chatting in bed. I accidentally let out a teeny tiny fart and obviously said ‘oops excuse me’. Bear in mind this guy was hugely overweight, ate mostly just takeaway like kebabs and pizza, and would constantly let/force out rip roaring stinking farts with abandon and laugh it off. Honestly he was a pig and I can’t believe my younger self put up with that.

He went bonkers at my tiny trump. Went on about how disgusting it was. I was stunned, because it’s natural, was not intended, I didn’t shove his head under the duvet and laugh or anything, and I had quickly said excuse me. He went on and on about it, even to the point that it was discussed in at least 2 or 3 sessions of our couples therapy (we were already on the rocks, no surprise!) I was so baffled, it was like it was the first fart he’d ever heard in his life or something and he just couldn’t understand why I had farted. God knows how the therapist kept a straight face!

OP posts:
ILoveCakeCrispsandChocolate · 08/08/2026 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Posted on the wrong board. MNHQ.

ScallopShelled · 08/08/2026 14:56

VoltaireMittyDream · 07/08/2026 12:51

I went out with a man who was totally bald, yet insisted on buying Kerastase volumizing shampoo. For his head skin.

Same fella, when I broke up with him, wrote me a letter on the type of letter-writing stationery they used to sell in packs for secondary school children at WH Smith, telling me he knew I still had feelings for him and it was OK, we could get back together, he wouldn’t hold this little blip against me. He’d written the letter with a fountain pen, and I could see where he’d made evenly spaced lines in pencil with a ruler so that his writing stayed straight. He was 32.

The volumising shampoo for his bald pate is wonderful.😃😃

Blushingm · 08/08/2026 14:59

Came around whilst I was out and took my pan lids and crockery

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 08/08/2026 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Posted on the wrong board. MNHQ.

You need to start your own thread

101Alsatians · 08/08/2026 15:03

Ate food off our baby's highchair tray...while he was STILL SITTING IN IT AND EATING.

Imagine being so gluttenous you start eating your baby's food.Vom.

Catarinabella · 08/08/2026 15:12

He turned up at the divorce court financial hearing, broken spectacles, filthy clothes, tongue hanging out and grunting. His barrister said his mental health was so destroyed that he could never work again. Judge believed the charade and I came out with next to nothing in the settlement.
He made a miraculous recovery and is CEO of a multi million business. I’m glad n social housing. Never been happier.

Lengokengo · 08/08/2026 15:24

I went to stay with him on a Thursday ( long distance relationship) and he had to work on the Friday. When I went to see what good he had in for lunch, he literally only had butter and a large onion. So I made French onion soup, where you have to slow cook the onion in butter for about an hour.

when he got back, I told him I had made this for lunch, he was cross about how much energy I would have used, having the hob on (low heat) for an hour. He had a well paid job, and had no other food in and was far from the shops! It was insane.

RiotNotDiet · 08/08/2026 22:33

Oh wow, these are truly insane.

@JoleneJoleneJoleneJoleneJolene did he have some kind of learning needs? Or was it a very complicated name? I’m fascinated by this!

OP posts:
OneRareCoralRaven · 08/08/2026 22:53

When my ex left, he took one wooden chair from a set of 6 that matched the dining table and said I should be greatful he only took one, as he was entitled to 3!
When he finally left, the night before he asked me to pack up exactly 50% of everything we jointly owned as he was too tired to do so himself (despite me working full time and him not working!)
Goodbye to him!

RiotNotDiet · 09/08/2026 09:35

@OneRareCoralRaven one chair 😂😂

OP posts:
ThisWormHasTurned · 09/08/2026 10:06

XH was very controlling and I could give many examples, but the one that seemed really unhinged..we had bought a Ring doorbell. He had it out the packaging and left it on the table. Couple of days later he went to put it up. He couldn’t found the screws. He accused me of moving them deliberately so he couldn’t find them. He accused DD of ‘playing with them’ and losing them (she was about 7 at the time). Eventually they turned up..still in the box they came in!
I kept the house (including the doorbell). A year after we split, I was on the phone with DD while she was at his house. He said ‘There’s someone at the door at your Mum’s house’. I had (naïvely) assumed he had deleted the app, it was still in his email address and I’d never thought to change it. Nope, he’d continued to get notifications. So he had seen my comings and goings, seen when the man who became my DP came round for the first time. I felt totally violated 😬 he later said ‘Oh I never checked it’ but he clearly still got the notifications so I’m sure he did. I got it swapped to my email address. He barely sees DD now (couple of hours a month max) and won’t speak to me at all 🙄

SundayVibe · 09/08/2026 17:37

My ex returned a spoon and fork in the post

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