Me and my partner have minor/ moderate learning disabilities. Should we have children?

[Benny91]

As I feel it wouldn’t be right to have any?

Do you know anyone with a learning disability that has children? As I find it quite rare with our disabilities to have children!

We are both 33

If you have to ask strangers, then no.

You started another thread worrying if you could afford a child despite a household income of £65k.
The chances of you having a disabled child are high. There will be a possibility that one of you would have to drop out of the workforce to look after them, and that could be for life.
Think long and hard. Both of you, and especially your partner as she will be the carrying the huge burden of risk of pregnancy etc.

It depends on if your learning disabilities are genetic or environmental - what do you both have?

Sorry you've already answered that. I would ask the NHS for genetic testing.

The doctors said we can both have children. However there is a 50% chance it could have RTS. Our parents though fully support us having children as we’re very independent adults despite our disabilities.

You are adults. It is nothing to do with your parents.

@Benny91 you still didn't say if your wife wants kids or if you do. Just that you think you should.

The fact that the poster references their parents in this way is very telling. In my experience truly independent adults don't look for their parents to verify that they should or shouldn't be having children in this waym I imagine the parents are a lot more involved than OP is letting on.

I have a relative like this. According to him he is totally independent . The reality is that he is propped up by relatives and professionals in virtually every aspect of his life. Even then he would be totally incapable of looking after a child, let alone a disabled child. It is a huge problem for families with LD children that their disabilities mean that they often aren't equipped to make decisions regarding important things such as family planning but they also aren't able to understand their limitations either.

It's a tricky one, you want people to feel empowered and in control of their lives but then you'll always get people that shouldn't have children.

Yes, it's the age old problem of a conflict of rights. The rights of adults to have children and the rights of the children to have parents that can meet their needs adequately. I always think the latter trumps the former.

A friend fostered babies. Over the years she had several babies from mothers with learning disabilities who were unable to take care of them. Social work removed them at birth and the mother would get pregnant again hoping to be able to keep the next one (which she wouldn’t be able to). Once the baby is born, the focus falls on the needs of the baby.

pretty sure that having kids is not a 'right'

I know a couple who both have LD. The husband works, but his wife does not.
They have had 3 children removed because they simply can not care for them. It is sad, as they often talk about them and still love them... but love is not enough.

My friends child has LD she had a child removed she blames her bad ex partner reality is she cannot take care of herself independently neither can her mother also LD) they fall into relationships (online) or situationships and it ends up a right mess she is nearly thirty runs away from her mother to a man ignores her mother then comes crying when it breaks down and she wonders why social services took her baby away