What did you observe at a wedding that made you think: "This couple will...."?

[timoteigirl]

"will or won't stay together for long"?
I'll start. I was in the toilet cubicles and the bride rushed in with a female friend and was discussing all the times she and groom had split up and got back together, ruminating on what actually keeps them together. I knew the groom, not the bride and this made me think they wouldn't last. But I was wrong. They have.

The closest I've had to this is a wedding that seemed to happen quite soon after a sibling of one of the couple got married and it all felt a little hurried and desultory, and not really in the our friend's character. They divorced after about 6 years and our friend found a partner who feels so much more right with them and who they have been with for far longer now.

I went to the wedding of a work colleague (she was the bride). It was a beautiful wedding they both looked so radiant and happy. The grooms father, however, was very unpleasant and didn’t believe my colleague was “good enough” for his son. In less than a month the couple had sadly separated. It was so sad.

The groom handed out a rose to all the women as a type of consolation prize as they would never know the love he had for his bride!
There were a lot of things that seemed off and it didn’t last long.

One wedding which was showy and expensive but felt very formulaic (and came as the last in the friendship group of girls to get married). The bride and groom didn’t look at each other much all day. It lasted 18 months.

I went to really fake wedding once.

Couple had average income but got into debt for their wedding. It was a nice enough looking place but if you looked closely the carpets were stained, it was a bit tatty in places and they undercatered.

That kind of summed up their marriage. It looked good in photos but we knew they weren’t really happy. The groom would come over and complain about his wife but on SM it was all cute posed photos.

The fire alarm went off at my wedding. We all had to go and stand outside.

It lasted two years and we split up with him leaving me with debt, a child and a divorce to organise.

The mother started her daughters bridal fund at birth.
Her £25k dress was flown back from Paris in its own seat, this was early 90’s crazy money for a middle income family.
Lasted 18 months.

Well- the wedding where the bride's sister told everyone that her sister had gone off for a dirty weekend with her boss as a last fling the weekend before the wedding wasn't a great start.

Not the wedding, but the engagement party where the bride to be told everyone the dress code was formal and the groom to be told his friends it was to be a cowboy theme (true story). If they couldn't even communicate about that it wasn't a good start- although it's been 30 years now... but I happen to know that they sleep separately and are waiting for the youngest to leave home before they formally split.

I’ve just realised I’ve never been to a wedding where the couple have split up…Maybe I’m the lucky charm! 😊

I was related to the groom and was in the bridal party. Just before the wedding the bride’s mother came intothe room where the bride and the girls of the bridal party were. The MIL2b was wearing a white dress and hat with a little veil. She took a bottle of perfume out of her handbag and sprayed herself. Then she sprayed the bride with the same perfume. The bride seemed perfectly happy with this.

It confirmed my opinion that my relative’s future MIL was a nasty piece of work.

The marriage lasted a surprisingly long time, some 15y, but it was miserable for my relative. He is a softy and was, effectively, being domestically abused until he was in a financial position where it was worthwhile for his wife to divorce him. Thank goodness there were no children to be screwed up the way the MIL had screwed up her daughter.

I’ve been to loads in my youth where I got it all wrong by thinking it was doomed and it wasn’t.
My late mil gave Dh and I a year , we have been married nearly 36. It’s not easy though. I can see why people split up tbh.

Might be an old urban myth, but as one man knelt down at the alter for the blessing someone had tipexed on his shoes HE .LP on the souls of them. Bit harsh.
I went to a double wedding and often wondered if they stayed together. Also know a brother and sister who married a brother and sister and they are fine ( far as I know )

Getting a bit of fresh air at the evening do, saw the couple going for a little walk by themselves, her wearing his jacket over her wedding dress, just snatching a quiet moment together. I think (I hope) they’ll last.

My maternal side had a brother and sister who married a brother and sister. We used to endure huge 'family reunions' where everyone got pissed and talked about how so and so was a SIL and a cousin once removed or some such nonsense while we teenagers stood around and popped each others pimples. [shudder] bad memories.

Most of my friends all got divorced over the years.
Most of dh’s old friends are together still.
Most divorces I know about were instigated by the women having affairs, it’s not always the men who leave , but I’d love to know the stats! It’s probably more men that leave first.

No Weddings I’ve attended have yet resulted in divorce so nothing really. Everyone had been with their spouse for a long time before marriage (5-10years) so I assume they’ll all last.

Think again. We know a couple who were together for years before and married for just under 20 years and they split

Everyone was really surprised as they seemed so perfect for each other.

There was a lot of terrible stress/trauma in the wider family of one and sadly I believe this eventually impacted their marriage.

Most people have shared stories of doomed couples so I'll share a nice one! Wedding of a male friend of mine, one of my closest friends since my teens. I had no reason to doubt the match, but I just remember him giving his speech and suddenly thinking, 'oh, he adores her'. I'd known him 15 years and never known him glow with happiness like that - he can be quite a grumpy, cynical sod so seeing his face just transformed by love was incredible. I am pleased to report that they are still together and happy!

An old friend of mine went to a wedding in the early 80s and the bride had her 3 year old as a flower girl.
She apparently had a lot of abuse over that. You would think it was more enlightened times back then, but it was seen as being wrong. Now , nobody would say anything. Times have moved on. Marriage and the reasons for it have altered I think. It seems more about the day on Instagram than the actual marriage!

Ten years ago. Bride chased the bloke down and gave him an ultimatum to marry her. Still together but she’s never at home. Always staying at other peoples’ houses.

I was at a wedding where the bride (5'2 and about 6 stone) punched the groom (6'3 and about 10 stone heavier) and knocked him clean out (I have no idea how she managed it)

The whole day was spent by her family running around after some scruffy & smelly bloke (her brother,who seemed to think he was higher than god) and ignoring the bride,groom and guests

They are still together as he's too scared to leave her (we tried to stay in touch but she cut us off,along with his family and other friends)

And the brother is now serving a sentence for viewing sexual pictures of children online and abusing two more (they claim he's been set up and is innocent)

He needs to leave but won't take the first step

The vicar marrying us warned us not to get drunk as the week before the couple turned up out of it and he couldn’t marry them!
I had another acquaintance who went to a wedding and the bride didn’t show up. Not sure what happened afterwards.
The wedding thread on classics is so funny about bad weddings and things that went wrong.

My cousins wedding in the 90s. They did their first dance and ig just seemed awkward. And they didn't look really happy, how you'd expect newlyweds to look. They divorced a few years later.

I’ve fell down a rabbit hole on mumsnet classics with bad wedding stories !
It is funny
csnt do links

Two work colleagues who met and married within four weeks in 1990. Still happily married today.

I was at a wedding of one of DHs old flatmates. I realised the groom was more interested in making sure all his friends had a great time than his new wife.

They split up around the 10 year anniversary mark.