What did you observe at a wedding that made you think: "This couple will...."?

[timoteigirl]

"will or won't stay together for long"?
I'll start. I was in the toilet cubicles and the bride rushed in with a female friend and was discussing all the times she and groom had split up and got back together, ruminating on what actually keeps them together. I knew the groom, not the bride and this made me think they wouldn't last. But I was wrong. They have.

When the groom was more interested in getting a copy of a photo that featured him holding aloft a trophy of some sort - all eyes on him , never mind his bride - he was a right tool - it lasted 18 months

Only 8 years (feels like 15)!
I was thinking of William and Catherine.

They got married in a registry office then had a church blessing and reception a couple days later - bride wore black to the registry ceremony. A relative of the groom had confided in me earlier that he was a creep who had offered to show her his penis when she was 14 (he was in his 20s).
It was over before they even got my wedding present. She said after she knew it was a big mistake while walking down the aisle, but her father had terminal cancer and I think she wanted him to know she was ‘taken care of’. She should have cancelled.
Another wedding the bride and groom basically disappeared after the ceremony until the dinner - and no not having sex! It was over within the year though they did have a child and remained friends.

I wore black to our wedding. I like black. Still married decades later.

After a few drinks I announced the groom was massively punching. They are still together 20 years later (and v happy)

A wedding when I greeted the groom at the church with a kiss on the cheek and realised he absolutely reeked of booze. I’m talking not a slight whiff of a swift one to calm the nerves I mean more smelt like he’d had been kicked out of a Wetherspoons. He was wisecracking throughout the service and I’m surprised the vicar married them tbh as he was clearly steaming. This was over 10 years ago and they are still married but he’s bled her dry financially and is an absolute arse.

Second was a wedding where I hadn’t seen the brides parents for years and my DH had never met them. I had described the bride’s father as a witty, engaging, larger than life character whose speech was likely to be legendary. He stood up and mumbled his way through goodness knows what. I didn’t even recognise him. I thought he must have been ill. Later found out he was not approving of the groom and just couldn’t be himself and muster the joy. His vibes were right, groom was cheating and marriage was over within a year.

I went to one where the bride told me she'd got married just for security for her daughter (her husband's step daughter). I knew they'd not last as she practically told me!

All others I've been to have lasted. One, I really thought wouldn't as the bride had been my university housemate and had told me she didn't like what he was like in bed! But they married just as soon as we'd graduated and are still together 20+ years later.

A wedding where the groom took the piss put of the bride during his speech. I'm not persuaded he respects her 13 years in. Surprised they are still together.

I went to one that I really thought would last and it didn't. They'd been together about ten years, were in their early thirties, nice house, normal but respectable jobs. Seemed utterly in love too, always coming out for drinks/meals and being very lovey with one another, genuinely seemed to care. Nice wedding, lovely atmosphere in a nice but not OTT place.

I noticed cracks not long after they'd married. Bride looked miserable when I visited and I asked her if it was true that things can change after marriage. She said he left her on her own much more. It was as if 'I've got you now, you can't leave me'. He'd go night fishing more often, go out with friends without inviting her whereas prior to that they socialised together. They had two children and were divorced within a year of the second one. I found it very sad, prior to the marriage they'd seemed so happy.

I went to a work friends wedding reception once where the bride spent the whole evening crying on the dance floor because her new husband had got fall down drunk. She had begged him not to drink on the day apparently. Turns out he had a massive drink problem. They split and got back together numerous times in the following years-not sure whether they are still together now. I remember she told us seriously at work once that their whole relationship would be fine as long as she gave him a son. (They had 3 girls). In the end they had a son, didn’t stop all the drama though.

I was a bridesmaid at a wedding. Standing at the church entrance ready to walk down the aisle, two of the other bridesmaids started gossiping saying things like "this will never last. I know how much they argue..." the music started and we all walked down the aisle all smiling. They were completely wrong - they're still together 25 years later and besotted with each other! You never know!

I have to admit though, in my circle of friends, the more expensive the wedding means the higher chance of them splitting up. It's become a 'thing'. We attended a very elaborate wedding - completely over the top on everything - they split up within a year.

My favourite wedding was arranged in virtual secrecy, we just got a text message invitation a week prior saying they'd love us to be there on their special day - if we couldn't make it - no problem - catch up soon! No gifts required, your presence is enough. It was a no frills ceremony. They'd written their own vows. Simply beautiful. Still together and going strong today!

I didn't expect my cousins wedding to last. Poshest of posh weddings, probably cost £50K. MOB's ridiculous hat was over £1K, horse and cart to the church etc.

Sadly my very young cousin, early 20's stupidly decided to go ahead with it despite her bloke already having cheated on her. He left her withing 2 years for someone else before their baby was even 1 year old.

"He'd go night fishing more"

Jeez. Few would accept that I imagine.

I was invited to the wedding of a work friend. Everyone was delighted for her and her new partner was a lovely man. The wedding and reception were lovely but in the evening reception she hit the bottle. She was really, really drunk and she attacked her new husband and his face was all bloody. Talking to her sister, she said she had a drink problem that she normally kept hidden (neither I nor any of our mutual friends had guessed). The marriage lasted less than a year.

I went to one where the bride and groom barely spoke to each other all day and didn’t smile on any photos. Tbh we knew before the wedding that it was doomed, and even told the groom he didn’t have to go ahead. Strangely enough they did actually last ten years before an acrimonious divorce.

My good friend met a man 17 years older than her when she was 21. We wernt keen but just hoped it wouldn’t last. They got married a couple years later because she was pregnant. The wedding was awful, his friends got into a fight people were taking drugs. Friend was mortified, most people left early. They got divorced around 10 years later by which point friend was an alcoholic with no confidence. We are nearly 20 years on and she still hasn’t recovered from his abuse.

I knew a couple who I was out with a few months before the wedding. She went off to get something and it immediately felt he changed and was coming on to me - completely sober. It felt very sleazy and when they got married it was one marriage I didn't think would last. However, as far as I am aware they are still together more than 25 years later, even though she had some major health issues and he would have had to look after her a lot. I did back off from the friendship though, as I couldn't get over what I had seen in him.

I went to a wedding many years ago in August. The couple had been together for about 8 years. The groom fell in love with one of his colleagues at the reception. I literally saw them both struck by Cupid's arrow right in front of me. By November the wedding couple had split up and were getting divorced.
The groom and his colleague did eventually marry and had a family, but I felt so sorry for the bride.

Someone being kind during a traumatic event is a great basis. It shows they’ll be there for you during the bad hard times even before they love you.

Or that people are terribly vulnerable in the aftermath of a near-death experience, which took place somewhere unfamiliar, at a distance from family and friends and make uncharacteristic decisions.

What did it look like (just curious) the 'cupid's bow' thing? I have seen something that I felt was similar.

Strangely, I think I experienced it once. It was someone entirely wrong for me too! But I just gave someone a hug and something strange happened, I literally couldn't let go of them.

Same. Almost a moment like you have been mesmerized and you can feel an instant connection. It's a great feeling though! 😁

Just remembered another one. I wasn't very close to the bride, used to be but had an evening only invitation but to be fair, most people did, the wedding was a simple registry office one with just close family, best man and bridesmaids,then reception/'evening' from 16:00 with buffet etc.

I hadn't met her husband. Reception was fine, normal, but I didn't see the two of them interact much at all, albeit I don't and didn't know anything more about them as a couple and only met him that night.

Two weeks after the wedding she rang me crying, I was the only friend close enough with a car, they'd fought, she was bloodied and she'd ran out of the house. Unfortunately my car was 'up on blocks' and I couldn't get her but I offered to pay for her an uber to my house (would've cost about £100 or more but nevermind). She didn't take me up on it. This was around two years ago, I don't know if she's divorced even but she's since had a baby with someone else.

I should also add that I married him! 😁