I'm not a daughter any more

[GingerBum]

I'm not a daughter any more

The house phone went, I thought it was my dad.

He died 20 months ago. My mum died 7 years ago

hugs

I hope you're ok.
That is very sad I'm sorry that must've hit hard.

I was 53 when I became an orphan. It still hurts, years later, but it does get easier with time. I don't think I will ever stop missing them.

I’m so sorry, it’s tough isn’t it when you become the oldest generation in your family. It’s a feeling of being ‘untethered’ for me, like the roots have gone.

But you’ll always be their daughter just like they’ll always be your mum and dad, even though they’re not here anymore.

I lost both my parents in my 20s/30s over 20 years ago. I still miss them and of course I wish they were around to see how my amazing kids have grown up - making me a bit tearful typing that tbh! But time really does soften the blow. For a long time I could only think of them during the most recent times when they were ill, but now I remember them as they were in my childhood, full of life and so cool, as 1980s parents were!

I hope you have lots of happy memories of your parents too. They’ll always be here, in your DNA and in your heart.

I once ‘became’ my mum when tripping on acid and have felt a lot closer to her ever since - when I look in the mirror and see my face looking more like her face as I age it’s quite a privilege.

I know. I lost my mom when I was 21 and dad when 41 but tbh he wasn't much of a dad. I am in my 50s now. I do sometimes get sad when away with husband and son and see generation families away or at meals x Wish I had support for my son. DH has no parents either.

Much love to you, OP.

I lost both my parents last year. Complex relationships - but the feeling of being part of the next wave over the trenches is very unsettling.

So sorry, OP. Sometimes it does this. 💐

You will always be a Daughter though - as you will always have a Mum and a Dad x

Thinking of you x

What an utterly cuntish thing to say.

What the actual fuck?

Sitting with my mum who had just died and holding one of her still warm hands my brother holding her other hand said 'we're orphan's now'. Our father died 16mths before her.
I am saying this very gently and with huge sympathy but you will always be your parents daughter.. always..

My dad died earlier this year, and my mum 4 years ago.

I can’t quite get on board with this idea that I’m not a daughter any more.

I talk about my mum and my dad, so that makes me a daughter, still, I think. So I think you are still their little girl, OP, even though they are gone.

It sucks doesn't it?

I lost my dad when I was 17, and my mum when I was 38.

I still feel like I'm their daughter. And you'll always be your parents' daughter.

Hugs 🫂 💐.

I came across unsent ‘merry Christmas mum and dad’ cards recently
It struck me I have nobody to send them to.

it was a brutal moment.
Sending hugs xx

It is so hard. I miss being someone’s daughter, and having my Mum and Dad to talk to and get advice.
I wish I had a loving mother in law so that I could at least still have that role to someone in my family, but she really doesn’t like me.

One of the worst things I've ever had to do surrounding the whole aspect of grief was opening presents I'd wrapped up for my Dad; that he didn't get to open.

Losing a parent is life changing - but OP, you'll always be their Daughter x

💐

My parents are dead. I’m still their daughter. That didn’t stop when they died. Words like parent, daughter, son, mother, and father describe enduring relationships, not just someone’s current state of being alive.

Also describing oneself as an ‘orphan’ once parents die is a bit daft. An adult does not become an orphan when their parents die. An orphan is a child whose parents have died. As an adult with dead parents, you’re not an orphan in the usual sense of the word.

I’m sorry - I know just how you feel, OP and it’s really hard. I lost my mum four years ago, and it’s still very raw much of the time. Even now, I so often find something waiting to remind me of my mum and that Im the last one left in my family. I don’t think the sadness ever goes completely - I still miss my dad after 35 years, and there were some things that I would discuss with him rather than anyone else and which have remained unsaid for all those years.

Yes, it’s tough.
i have just had some decorating done in very bold colours with some glorious William Morris wallpaper and I know my mum and dad would have loved it and I was upset that they wouldn’t see it - daft really.

I was just having a similar convo with friends - we were all sympathising we are orphans now. Hugs ok, it’s hard

You'll always be their daughter. It doesn't matter how old you are when you lose beloved parents, it's so hard.

I'm guessing they loved you and you knew it ?
That's a bloody special memory to have op.

Wish I had that.

If you’re no longer a daughter because your parents have died, does that mean you can’t call them your mum and dad anymore either? What do you refer to them as?

Echoing all the other posts, you will always be their daughter just like I am still my DH's wife. Our people may no longer walk beside us but we are still their person and they ours.

Hugs, OP; I very much understand. I remember saying to my husband after my dad died that I was an orphan now; I really felt like the people that anchored me to this world had gone and nothing would be the same again.
Of course, time and perspective have changed how I feel. Be gentle with yourself.